Recently, in Wuxi, Jiangsu Province, a short video taken by a mother caused controversy among netizens. In the video, the mother pulls out various "pieces of paper books" from the boy's bag. Homework books are all one by one, and the books are rolled up out of shape. Opening the cover of a book, the back of it reads "The target is Tsinghua and Peking University." Looking up, the son was still sitting at the table with Erlang's legs crossed and biting the pen shaft. Mom laughed angrily and said something slightly mocking. Many netizens said that they had also met "the same" parents.
In life, many parents carry out "percussion education" for their children, hoping to make children change in this way. However, excessive blows often bring excessive psychological pressure to children, which is counterproductive. So, what impact will this way of education have on children? China Youth Network reporters interviewed some parents, teachers and experts.
The child's school bag and the "Goal is Tsinghua and Peking University" written on the book. Screenshots of the network
Parents: Laughing at children can easily hit their self-esteem and self-confidence, resulting in a bad parent-child relationship
Ms. Liu, who works in Jinan, Shandong Province, felt very uncomfortable when she saw the video of "her son wanted to go to Tsinghua Peking University and was ridiculed by her mother". She believes that the child's school bag is messy because it has not developed good habits from an early age, but the mother laughs at the child and can have a negative impact on the child.
Ms. Liu's children are going to college, and she attaches great importance to the cultivation and education of her children. She will guide the child's behavior at each stage, positively encourage, first let the child set a small goal, and guide it daily. "Give a little encouragement when the goal is achieved, give face-to-face affirmation at home, and stimulate the child's sense of honor and enthusiasm."
"As parents, it is recommended to abandon 'percussion education', encourage and guide children, and stimulate children's enthusiasm." Ms. Liu suggested that parents can start from the following aspects.
First, it is necessary to guide children to develop good habits, such as keeping textbooks, homework books, etc. clean and tidy, which is convenient for review, and pleasing to the body and mind to improve learning efficiency.
The second is to carry out positive education for children, give children appropriate rewards, and hit children with negative language, some children are ashamed and brave, and some children will break the jar and break the jar due to insults, passive learning, resulting in a plummeting decline in academic performance.
The third is to guide children to set goals, "take the law from top to it, take the law from below", it is recommended to establish a small goal for the child, so that the child can experience the happiness of achieving the goal; there is a goal and motivation, there is a direction of effort, such a small goal adds up to a big goal. "I believe that whether it is a child's usual exam or a big plan for further education, it can be realized one by one."
Jin Xia, a teacher at Pingchao Primary School in Tongzhou District, Nantong City, Jiangsu Province. Courtesy of respondents
Teacher: No matter how unreliable a child's wishes are, parents should not laugh at them
Jin Xia, a teacher at Pingchao Primary School in Tongzhou District, Nantong City, Jiangsu Province, saw the video and felt that her mother's approach in the video was inappropriate. She believes that first of all, she feels that the mother has great distrust of the child, and the mother seems to hope to stimulate the child's learning spirit through such expression, but in fact, it conveys a feeling of distrust; secondly, the child's private performance at home is presented in a secret way, which is a behavior that disrespects the child.
Over the years, Jin Xia has come into contact with many parents who have the same "percussion education" as the mother in the video. Such parents often hold the view that "the child needs us adults to constantly remind him that if we always praise him, the child will be proud." I reminded him that it was for his good. ”
When a child achieves some success, parents may say, "Don't be proud, who is better than you." When a child fails, some people will say to the child, "What do I say, tell you not to be proud, how is it now?" Something went wrong! You're just too proud and complacent! ”
Children encounter problems, and parents educate through such a blow. "As everyone knows, parents' 'percussion education' may lower their children's self-esteem."
As a parent, in the process of children's growth, what kind of education methods should be adopted to avoid "percussion education"? Jin Xia believes that parents should be their children's "tour guides". When the child's behavior is within the rules, affirm the child and encourage the child to continue to follow such norms; when the child's behavior deviates from the rules, parents must give correction guidance in time to lead the child to the right "track".
Parents should be the "coach" of their children. In the process of children's growth, purposeful deliberate training is necessary, at this time, the parents' "coaching" companion training, with the correct behavior to the child's demonstration, can resolve the child's anxiety, provide an example for the child's growth.
Parents should be their children's "companions". In the process of children's growth, parents are the most aware of the child's "companion", not only in life, have a unique time to get along intimately, in learning, parent-child reading, but also have extremely favorable conditions, so lower their stature and become the child's "companion" is the most economical and easiest way to implement family parenting.
Zhu Di, researcher at the Institute of Sociology of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences and deputy director of the Research Office of sociology of youth and education. Courtesy of respondents
Experts: It is recommended that parents carry out more encouraging education when educating their children
Zhu Di, a researcher at the Institute of Sociology of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences and deputy director of the Research Office of sociology of adolescents and education, believes that first of all, "percussion education" must be opposed, and hoping to achieve the purpose of "radical law" education by degrading children will actually hurt children's self-esteem and self-confidence. Parents to their children to carry out "strike education" in life is actually more common, many parents will say to their children, "you look at other people's children, look at you again." Parents originally hoped to use excellent people to set an example for their children, but in fact, it will cause a lot of psychological pressure on their children and will not play an educational role.
Secondly, she believes that each family and each parent has their own unique way of education, a unique way of getting along with their children, as far as the video of "the son wants to go to Tsinghua Peking University and is ridiculed by his mother", "it is possible that her usual communication with her children is also this kind of humorous and funny way."
Again, she stressed that parents are not perfect education experts, society in the hope that parents to do a good job in family education at the same time, can not cause too much pressure to parents, to emphasize a normal, daily interaction, parents can combine their own characteristics and experience, think about how to interact with children more well and effectively, "rather than saying that we want to promote a single way of education, a single parent image."
Finally, Judy suggested that parents should carry out more encouraging education when educating their children, actively explore their children's strengths and strengths, and pay attention to equality and patience when communicating with children. However, encouraging education should also pay attention to grasping the measure, "because if you blindly praise and praise, it may have some impact, such as the child's self-esteem is stronger, and the ability to withstand setbacks may be weaker."
Source: Qing Xiaoxiao (ID: zqwqxx) reporter Li Huaxi
Editor-in-Charge: Left Orange
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