1
What is it like to marry a mommy boy?
Zhihu had a high praise reply: "I feel that I am involved in the third person of someone else's marriage." ”
For those who have not experienced it, it may not be possible to feel the pain and collapse of it, but there is no doubt that it is a torture.
In the hit drama "Female Psychologist" some time ago, there was a case of "Ma Bao Man", Xiao Yuan and his fiancée Sasha often quarreled, and the reason for the quarrel was often some trivial life trivia: taking wedding photos, new house decoration, wedding form...
Although Xiao Yuan took the initiative to seek peace every time he quarreled, he could not "coax" the other party well.
And Xiao Yuan in the play, the most commonly said sentence is "my mother said ...", "my mother said ...", and many things about marriage between Sasha and Sasha refer to her mother's opinion, and various things make Sasha collapse and cry.
During a quarrel, she asked Xiao yuan in a hoarse voice: "Is it that I am married to you, or are you married to your mother?" ”
In fact, Xiao Yuan's "mother treasure man" is not uncommon in real life.
Although he is physically mature, he is mentally dependent on his mother, has a weak personality, listens to his mother's opinions in small and trivial matters, and lacks autonomy.
The characteristics of "ma bao man" are also the most likely to cause contradictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship and husband and wife relationship.
So how did the "Ma Bao Man" come into being?
Generally divided into the following two types:
1, they seriously lack maternal love in infancy, so the desire for maternal love makes him cling to maternal love, so when he grows up, he finds that listening to his mother's words can cause attention, and he will be extremely obedient.
2, single-parent families are also prone to "mother treasure men", which may also be accompanied by a mother-in-law complex, partly because of the mother's excessive intervention and doting, so it leads to weak self-care ability and extreme dependence on the mother.
2
What if our significant other half is a "mommy boy"?
First, guide the other party to realize their own problems
Often Ma Bao Man is not aware that he is a Ma Bao, and he is even more unwilling to admit that he is a Ma Bao.
At this time, you can't use scolding or condemnation to wake him up, otherwise it will make him have a strong rejection.
We must let the other party take the initiative to realize that he has a tendency to develop towards Ma Baonan.
When facing a partner who always wants to seek the protection of his mother or family, you should not be angry or accuse, but guide and express your willingness to solve these problems with him.
At this time, the attitude cannot be tough, and it is necessary to encourage the other party in a positive way to make him more motivated.
Second, cultivate each other's sense of responsibility
In dealing with his partner, the key is to make him clear about his husband's responsibilities in the family.
For example, for some trivial matters in the family, you can take the initiative to seek his opinion or seek his help, and then praise him more, so that he can get a sense of achievement and satisfaction in this process.
For example, what kind of furniture to buy?
At this time, you can let your husband buy it himself, regardless of whether the furniture is bought well or not, as long as he can make up his mind, he will first give support and encouragement, and at the same time, do not forget to hint at him: "It is really worthy of my husband!" You are the head of the family, and everything will be decided by you in the future! ”
First support his idea, and then the two men discuss issues such as the practicality of the product.
In addition, some trivial things in the family can also involve the husband.
For example, while you do housework, you can let your husband take the handle, let him help hand over soy sauce when cooking, let him clean up the dinner table when washing dishes, etc., and slowly, the husband will cultivate the awareness of maintaining the family.
Third, strengthen their psychological endurance
Ma Bao grew up under the protection of his parents and did not experience setbacks and difficulties.
Often when they encounter some small problems, their hearts are always fragile and easy to hurt.
Facing such a mentally immature partner requires us to have enough patience to give more space and encouragement when the other person makes mistakes.
At the same time, we must also improve our ability to deal with problems, enhance our inner endurance, and make ourselves stronger, so that we can better adapt to future life and work.
In a marital relationship, the core of the family should be a husband and wife relationship, and the parent-child relationship should be a supporting role.
However, if the relationship between husband and wife gives way to the parent-child relationship, then such a family is likely to have a series of problems. In this case, it is particularly important to rebuild the marriage mode of getting along.
Of course, wanting to make a partner "grow up" is a process that requires long-term persistence, so we also need to be mentally prepared!
- Today's Topic -
What should I do if I meet Ma BaoNan?
If at this time you have many difficult problems with life, affection, family, and career, you can ask us questions in the background. We will attach you the answers of Hitomi's professional tutors.
Welcome to your question and leave a message.
Give us a click to read the article
May you also have marriage preservation cheats!