Happy married families have one thing in common: they know how to talk well.
On the big stage of life, one sentence makes things happen, and one sentence fails. Similarly, in marriage, language is both the bond that unites the relationship between husband and wife, and the stinger that breaks up the marriage relationship.
Language plays a very important role in human activity relations. Especially in marriage relations, good language is the soil that breeds a harmonious family atmosphere, is one of the factors that promote family happiness, is the glue that promotes good relations between people, and is also the culprit that destroys each other's relationships.
As the saying goes, the importance of language can be seen in the fact that evil comes out of the mouth.
I often hear the older generation say: "One day husband and wife are 100 days, and 100 days husband and wife are like the depth of the sea." ”
Indeed, the marriage of the older generation is enviable, from one end to the other, never abandoned. One of the most important ways to get along is not to say things that hurt feelings, and not to do things that hurt feelings.
In the parents' view of marriage, as long as two people are married, they identify each other, form a fate that cannot be understood, tie up the deep affection of the scissors, regard each other as the only one in life, and have deep feelings.
Even if there are big winds and waves in life, even if there are quarrels and quarrels, you can still love for a lifetime and never give up.
On the other hand, the marriage of our time, perhaps the fast-paced life, makes people irritable, and life is always full of discordant phenomena.
There is no patience in case of trouble, talking with guns and sticks, the family is full of gunpowder from time to time, a quarrel, the divorce is hanging on the lips, everyone is like a fire on the point, like a balloon will explode as soon as it is touched.
Thinking about it carefully, the reason why the marriage of the older generation is harmonious and stable, and they can love for a lifetime, is because they know how to speak well, tolerate each other, and understand each other.
Even when arguing and talking, you can still do what to say and what not to say. Instead of blurting out whatever you say without thinking.
Nowadays, some people, when they quarrel and get angry, do not choose what to say, what is difficult to hear, what is hurtful and what to say. Although relieved, it gained the upper hand. As everyone knows, once some words are said, it is like the water that is spilled cannot be recovered, and after a long time, the words that hurt people are like a knife that stabs another person's heart.
Therefore, what hurts the most emotions in a marriage relationship is "language".
Speaking with measure, scale, and good control, the marriage relationship can be harmonious and beautiful. On the contrary, the chicken and dog are restless, the smoke of gunfire is filled, and the gap is fixed over time, affecting the quality of marriage and destroying the marriage relationship.
I often hear people say: "A good word is warm in three winters, and a bad word hurts people in June", which is the truth.
So, what can be done to avoid language damage and maintain a harmonious and stable marital relationship?
Personally, I believe that more attention should be paid to the following two aspects to avoid language damage.
01. In educating children, do not say that you suppress the other half
In married life, in addition to daily chores, the education of children is the focus of life, and it is also very easy for both husband and wife to induce contradictions.
If the two sides disagree on the issue of educating children, and when they cannot reach a consensus, it is inevitable that there will be verbal arguments.
You say you're reasonable, she says she's reasonable, she doesn't give in to each other, and when there's disagreement and one of the parties refuses to compromise and escalates into a mutually repressive argument, it's easy to explode in an impatient situation.
In order to conquer the other party, say something like, "Even if you are like that, you deserve to fight with me." "You don't look in the mirror to see what you look like." Words like that are really hurtful.
At the moment when the evil words are spoken, you have a bad breath, and even make the other party dumb, but have you ever thought about the other party's feelings? Maybe at that moment, the body was trembling, and the heart was dripping blood.
When you ignore it and completely unaware of your mistakes, vicious language will not only not solve the problem, but also lay a fuse for the feelings of two people in the marriage.
Instead of fighting each other for red ears, it is better to sit down, calm down, listen to each other, be more patient; know the reason, move with affection, not only solve the problem, but also close the relationship between each other.
02. When there is a conflict between the husband and wife, do not say anything that hurts the parents of both parties
In life, chai rice oil and salt, pots and pans of the day, even if the couple who love each other again, it is inevitable that there will be stumbling times.
Personality conflicts, differences of interest, disagreements in speech, even a trivial matter, can cause friction and cause an uproar. At this time, if the emotions of the two sides are out of control, it will turn into a fierce quarrel.
In the mutual attack between your words and my words, the poor quality party indiscriminately, splits its head and covers its face, talks indiscriminately and even scolds indiscriminately, which is originally a contradiction between husband and wife, but it is out of thin air, and the resentment is spread everywhere.
Some people are accustomed to exposing the shortcomings of each other's parents when quarreling, such as: when they first got married, the bride price was more, or they helped take care of their children after marriage, and they did not take good care of their children, and some people even spoke wildly and said words that hurt each other's parents.
As everyone knows, this will give the other party another salt on the wound, deepening the pain. At the same time, it also makes people have gaps and deepens contradictions. If it is not tempered and corrected, it is bound to seriously affect the quality of marriage in the long run.
Cardron said: "Language is the most dangerous weapon: the wound of the sword stab is easier to heal than the wound of the language thorn." ”
I feel the same way.
Indeed, the hurt of language is no less than the harm caused by the violence of fists and feet, and the harm of language is invisible and invisible, like a thorn in the heart, and from time to time it will faintly hurt.
Plato said, "The wise speak because they have something to say." Fools speak because they want to speak. ”
Language is an esoteric science, no matter at any time, on any occasion, speaking must be considered, reckless, blurted out words inadvertently hurt the most.
It will alienate the relationship and cause the couple to be estranged. Therefore, knowing how to speak well is the greatest blessing of a family.
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