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Good men are trained, if we are in marriage, we can understand a little psychology, know how to get along with the other half, I believe that the husband will become more and more sticky to himself.
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Text | Parent-child Picture | Source network
Joy or sorrow - there I have always been with you
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Whether it is a TV series or life, we will find a particularly interesting phenomenon:
When he was young, a man was like an untamed wild horse that could not be pulled back; after entering middle age, he could not drive away, and surrounded his wife all day.
The middle-aged uncle was labeled a "good man".
Or after seeing too many scenery of life, they finally found that the most beautiful scenery is in the yard, and the person they love the most is in the lights.
01
With you there, the home is complete
Heard the story of a taxi driver.
When the driver was young, he was also a gentleman, and there were many girls who pursued him, and his wife was no exception. This always made him complacent and never took her seriously.
After getting married, the wife took care of everything and kept the house in good order. He enjoyed it all for granted, and as soon as he got home, he called out to her, but she never complained and accepted it happily.
For her, being needed by the people she loves is a kind of happiness.
However, those who are favored are always fearless.
While carrying a guest, he met a young and beautiful girl who could be spoiled. During that time, his mind was full of girls' shadows, and he didn't even want to drive the car.
Later, the girl quarreled at home, and things were all over the city. He ignored his wife's retention and insisted on divorce.
"The days after that were probably the darkest of my life." He was left with tears of remorse.
The mother was so angry that she couldn't afford to fall ill, and before long, the girl was tired of the triviality of chai rice oil and salt and left him. Every day when he comes home, he has to cook for the child and accompany the child to write homework.
Only then did he suddenly remember his wife's goodness, understand her importance, and realize that his heart was full of her.
So, he cheekily went to beg his wife to come home, and the kind woman finally agreed.
The most precious thing in the world is to lose and regain; the most tearful thing is that when I look back, you are still there; the happiest is that there is another you in my dwelling. With you there, the home is complete.
02
With you there, the heart is stable
By middle age, husband and wife have changed from love to affection, resulting in dependence.
The friend's father to the mother is probably such a feeling. According to friends, her father was very dependent on her mother when he was young.
Every day, when I came back from work and couldn't see my mother, I would rush out to look for it, as if I had lost something. When eating, as long as the mother is not at the table, she will not know the taste.
When my mother went to my grandmother's house, before anyone could enter the house, my father's call came: "When will you come back?" Home is waiting for you. ”
As long as he can't see his mother, his father is like losing his soul. He had to ask where his mother had gone before he could rest assured.
This is probably the most beautiful look of love.
Because of you, my heart has a home; because of you, the coarse vegetables and light rice are also sweet; because of you, I am full of strength. With you there, my heart is stable.
03
With you there, the love is complete
The TV series "Golden Wedding Wind and Rain" tells the story of a couple who do not have the right door, and have walked through the life of the wind and rain for fifty years.
The story takes place in the 1950s, when geng zhi, a 28-year-old heroic combat hero, meets a 22-year-old beautiful and elegant young doctor, Schumann.
Since then, they have begun a life of romantic legend.
Schumann, a gentle Hangzhou girl, is also the daughter of a capitalist. He is a doctor who coexists with beauty and wisdom and has a strong sense of enterprise.
Geng Zhi was a beijing boy and a volunteer military camp commander with high political ambitions and ideals. For the sake of Schumann, he resolutely took off his mighty military uniform and gave up a great future.
When Geng's mother made a fuss over Schumann's adoption of the child, Geng Zhi firmly stated that the adopted child was also surnamed Geng.
When Schumann was criticized for his political content, Geng Zhi never abandoned it.
When Schumann was lost in the Tangshan earthquake, Geng Zhi panicked, and he felt that his life had collapsed. If he never saw Schumann again this time, he would not know where his life should go.
As he frantically opened the rubble and looked for Schumann's figure, Schumann stood behind him and froze, and he turned around and hugged Schumann tightly.
This time, he decided to give up the opportunity to study and always guard his wife.
Their lives quarreled again and again, and they almost broke up. In middle age, Geng Zhi faced temptations several times. But he always understood what his wife meant to him.
It is love, it is affection, it is responsibility, and it is also morality.
Where there is Schumann, it is home, and where there is Schumann, love can be placed.
With you, it must be the person who can ignite the passion in your heart and make you want to sing, dance, and fly. Because of you, everyone else will be. Because of you, love is complete.
04
So, when people reach middle age and their marriages become increasingly flat, how can you make your husband more and more "rare" to you?
On the one hand, we must first understand the "more look effect" of psychology.
It's a phenomenon that the more familiar things are, the more you like it, and the same is true in marriage, and the most we spend our lives with is our partners. Because I know each other more and more, I will like each other more and more when I see each other's goodness.
But no one's marriage will be smooth sailing, married life is always stumbling, when the problem comes, what do we have to do to make each other not tired?
This is to use the "broken window effect" in psychology, if the window is broken, do not repair, after a period of time, other windows will be inexplicably broken.
Marriage is also like this, when problems occur, if the two parties do not communicate in time, the problems will accumulate more and more, with serious consequences and affect each other's feelings.
Just like domestic violence, domestic violence once, you do not speak, there will be a second time, the other party will think that you are only worthy of that.
When women encounter domestic violence, they must fight back forcefully and let the other party know that you cannot be violated and that you have an independent personality.
Only when you feel precious will you be cherished, men will respect you and cannot do without you.
We need to break the "broken window effect" and repair the holes in marriage in time to harvest happiness.
On the other hand, the "Rosenthal effect" should be used more in daily interactions.
This is a psychological implication that the appropriate praise of both parties will make people feel infinite power.
When you praise your wife: "Today's dish is really full of color and flavor, very much to my liking." "Then next time, you'll have a more delicious meal."
When you affirm your husband: "Wow! Or do you have the means to solve your son's problem so quickly. "Then in the future, you will find that he accompanies his son more and more times."
Good partners are exaggerated.
On the other hand, we must understand the "threshold effect".
If you want to "tune" out a satisfactory partner, you can't think of ascending to heaven one step at a time, you have to start with small things.
Psychologists believe that in general, people are reluctant to accept difficult requirements, but are more willing to accept small, low-difficulty things.
Ask your husband to help wash the dishes once today, and let him throw away the garbage tomorrow and give encouragement. Slowly, he will fall in love with the feeling of doing housework with you, because there is a sense of accomplishment, and he will volunteer and enjoy it.
Especially middle-aged men, who have experienced many ups and downs in life, understand the preciousness of chai rice oil and salt, and the more they can appreciate the importance of pillow people.
You have to let him understand that groups of friends and children and grandchildren are not as good as you. What I want is this steady happiness, to be by your side for a long time.
May our marriage blossom into a splendid flower.
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