Reader Stories:
Readers and husbands have been married for seven or eight years, and there have been quarrels during this period, but fortunately, they have not had much impact on the marriage, and they are still very happy with each other.
But in recent times, readers have always felt that there is something wrong with the marriage, but she can't say what is wrong.
It may be because marriage will face the "seven-year itch", the feelings will go from warm to flat, and the sudden change may make people uncomfortable, which will produce messy thoughts.
Among them, the most obvious is the suspicious spirit, especially those marriages that seem calm on the surface, the more waveless, the more dark and turbulent.
Most of the people who produce this emotion are women, because they are mainly emotional thinking, so they will be more sensitive and more sentimental.
However, marriage cannot be generalized, let alone dealt with in a simple way. Therefore, if you suspect that your husband is "unfaithful" to you, this article will be very helpful and recommended to bookmark.
Once a suspicion is established, it is bound to be a tragedy
You buy a cup, and one day, on a whim, you decide to try whether the quality of the cup is good or not.
So you threw the cup to the ground, once, without breaking, and you threw it again, not yet broken.
At this time, you are aroused by the fighting spirit, and you have to try again.
This time, you stand at a higher place, and this time, you exert more strength to throw the cup.
As expected, the cup shattered, so you said with disdain, look, I said that this cup is not of good quality.
But you forget that when you want to test whether the quality of this cup is good or not, you are already doomed to the end of this cup.
Love is the same, once the crime of suspicion is established, no matter what the other party does, it will be linked to "infidelity".
As a result, we will be suspicious, there will be more contradictions, more quarrels, and the marriage will become precarious.
The writer Sanmao once said in the book "Meteor Shower": "Age, economy, and knowledge are not necessary conditions for choosing a mate." I think the most important thing is each other's hearts and character, and that is the key to whether the marriage can last. ”
What has not happened, there is no point in doubting, what has already happened, doubting is also superfluous.
It is better to be a pure minister, be at ease, and cherish the people in front of you, so that you can also make the marriage develop in a good direction.
Marriage burnout periods are normal, and more communication is the key
The peak concentration of love usually lasts for three to five years, and then slowly flattens out, which happens to be a complete process of freshness.
After that, the freshness fades, it will be a period of burnout, during which the husband and wife will not experience the emotions generated by attraction, but more contradictions.
Extraordinary times need to be very solved, the more tired, the more need to communicate more, to explain the problem clearly, rather than a person thinking wildly, let the problem ferment.
Like the reader mentioned above, she suspected that her husband had another woman when he left early and returned late, but in a communication, she found that her husband just ran an online car when he was off work, and wanted to earn a little more money.
Just think, if the reader keeps saying nothing, then the seed of doubt will take root and then become the fuse that destroys each other's feelings.
Therefore, marriage into the burnout period is not afraid, as long as more communication is good.
Bi Shumin said: "Love is afraid of silence. Too many people think that love to the depths is speechless. In fact, love is a difficult emotion to describe, which needs to be expressed and transmitted in detail. ”
Many things are said to be opened, and the misunderstanding will be dissolved, and if you don't say it, it will always be a knot in your heart, you are not happy, and your marriage is not happy.
If it is really expected, it is useless to suspect
If, if men are really disloyal, then there is no point in our doubts.
Because the facts have been established, doubt is just to increase internal friction, to make yourself suspicious of ghosts, to make yourself suffer from gains and losses, and to make yourself unhappy.
It is normal for couples to have some insecure thoughts because they care.
As the Desperate Housewife writes, "Have you ever seen a perfect couple in this world without suspicion and anger?" I know a couple, the two little people on the wedding cake, because they never have to face each other. ”
But once the other person really changes his mind, what is the point of doubt?
Instead of increasing our emotional costs on these meaningless things, we should go with the flow, be calm, and follow the steps.
If there is no infidelity, then manage love well, and as before, the two people are in love with each other;
If there is already a fact of disloyalty, then do not complain about yourself, you should immediately stop the loss in time, the liquidation of domestic property will be liquidated, and the other party should be net out of the house.
In short, in this way, we can protect our own interests and avoid our own risks in marriage.