Love requires a sense of awe.
Every middle-aged couple actually experiences some twists and turns.
Only because, people reach middle age, the pressure of life is obviously increased, three meals a day, chai rice oil and salt, eating, wearing, living and using lines, children's education... Each one is consuming each other's feelings.
However, feelings can be light, and days cannot be "light".
Zhang Ailing once said: Living in this world, there is no emotion that is not full of holes.
Years of companionship, long-term run-in between two people, whether or not to adapt to each other, but boredom is bound to happen. Once a sweet smile, each other's hearts moved, and in the present, they all became stumbling and quarreling.
Some couples, unable to survive, waved their hands, or freely, or said goodbye to each other very disgracefully; while some couples worked together to live the days, minute by minute, turning the imperfections of life into perfect true love.
After all, who doesn't start with the flow of years and end with the precipitation of time?
In fact, middle-aged couples, it seems that they do not love, it seems that the love is light, but when things happen in life, it is often when their love really begins.
Therefore, although the days are trivial, although less fun, although they are not as sticky as they were young, they are more dependent, more warm, and more intimate.
Those couples who can walk hand in hand to the old age, in fact, have never been each other's "love saints", they are just ordinary people.
Therefore, if at the moment, you feel that you do not love the pillow person, but you can't leave it, you can't be separated, you may wish to learn their "life", you will understand a lot.
"Do not interfere" with each other's lives, in order to be comfortable together
Many people will say that men, like children, do not fight for three days, go to the house to uncover the tiles.
And such a result is often that he is afraid of you and guards you everywhere, and he will seem to love you very much, but in his heart he just "doesn't want to cause trouble for himself."
There are always men who say that in the unit, desperately trying to earn money, after returning home, they will be tortured. So, in the quiet basement, smoke a cigarette, brush your mobile phone for a while, and then go upstairs in a comfortable mood.
There are always women who say that he knows that he is having fun alone, and he does not care about me and the children at all, so he treats men with shouting, a little thing, and throwing a tantrum at will.
It can be seen that the comfort in the relationship needs to let each other have some space.
Two people can have some sense of boundaries, in order to have more sense of proportion. You are you, I am me, we live together, but it does not mean that we have to discipline each other, bind each other, but each has its own life, each has its own experience, even if it can not empathize, but can understand each other, not too much interference.
In fact, husband and wife for many years, each other's temperament personality, has long been a thorough, even if the other party does not say, you will understand the meaning behind his move, but sometimes, need to pretend to be some confused, some times, need to maintain some principles.
However, this kind of "non-interference" must be maintained in a good degree.
Remember during the epidemic period, there was a news, a family of three was isolated at home, there were only two packs of noodles left at home, the man was hungry, cooked two packs of noodles, ate a pack and a half, gave the child half a pack, did not leave a single bit for his wife, he immediately ate a jingguang, or the child divided his half bag to his wife half.
This kind of selfishness has actually exceeded the limits of getting along between husband and wife.
So, when encountering this kind of man, women really have to seriously consider it, if you really face any danger, it is likely that this person is the person around you who leaves you the fastest.
No matter how much you don't interfere, if you can't share the suffering, most of this kind of love is over, and it is not a pity.
In short, people to middle age, love or not love, in fact, has been in the second, the most important thing, get along not tired, cherish each other.
Do not randomly "speculate" on each other, in order to protect each other, big things into small
Men and women get along, and many problems come from randomly speculating about each other.
Women love to think about the east and west, men do not love to communicate, so contradictions, one by one, came one by one.
Most of the misunderstandings in the relationship are because they don't say anything to each other. Two people read each other too much in everything, but they are holding back to calculate each other like "Sherlock Holmes", and in the long run, it is really difficult to live a good life.
In life, women feel that men will betray them outside, and men are worried that women will come outside, so both people are secretly speculating about each other's words and deeds, a little "unnecessary" things, but also to stalk and argue hysterically.
When we get along, there are fewer eyes, but only use the ears to distinguish, less understanding, and only use doubt to guess, then this love is not far away.
Therefore, if you want to live a good life and do not let marriage go to a dead end, you need to pay attention to these:
First, be calm when things happen, don't always put words such as "divorce" on your lips, it is likely to talk about it, and you will really leave. Good couples are closer to each other's hearts, even if they are awkward, they will not say more things that should not be said.
Second, don't complain to each other about your mother's family and in-laws, the matter between your husband and wife is just a matter between you, it has nothing to do with your parents, don't escalate to the accusation of your respective families when arguing, if you don't cover your mouth, you will make the contradiction even higher.
Third, protect each other's privacy, learn to shut up in front of outsiders, don't hang on the inadequacies of your lover, and become the handle of others after dinner. You know, it is likely that if you inadvertently say a word, it will be magnified by some people with hearts and spread to the ears of lovers, which will only make your marriage precarious.
In short, two people living together, if you can't trust each other's heart, but you must do it, don't speculate about him at will, don't slander him arbitrarily, and don't raise a little thing between you to a big thing in your marriage.
Respect each other, know how to empathize, in order to love warmly, mutual understanding
Remember that Cai Kangyong had a sentence:
"The souvenirs of love are never the watches and necklaces you gave me, or even those sweet text messages and photos, but the changes you left on me and caused me."
Deeply believed, especially in marriage, especially in marriage.
Many times, what makes you unforgettable will not be what gifts he bought for you and how many surprises he has brought to each other, but he has seen through all the shortcomings of the other party and adapted to all the shortcomings of the other party, and it is two people who have turned each other's habits into their own habits.
Even if one day, you don't love, those habits will still be deeply imprinted on you.
Love, you need to find a sense of balance in each other, in order to be happier together, but also to express the true feelings of the heart to the people you love.
Just as those who cure your temper must be the ones you love, and those who can bear your temper must also be the people you love.
If you find this sense of balance, you can think more about each other when you are married, you can think in a different position, and you can control your emotions.
Those who can get along harmoniously even if they don't love, not only can trust each other, but more importantly, they know how to understand their lovers, they will not be condescending, and they will not let each other be wronged in order to satisfy themselves.
Especially the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, a good husband will certainly not be from the mud, nor will he hide far away, allowing the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to fight in a big war, but will reconcile from the middle, help not help relatives.
True love is that each other can give each other a sense of security, even if it is not so "fit", but it will resonate with the same frequency.
Even if the other party does many things that others can't understand, you can extract his true thoughts from his nagging and bits and pieces, and understand the true meaning behind his work.
Conclusion:
Between husband and wife, they can live their lives, in fact, never because of how "deeply loved", but only because they can afford to get along.
The more two people who can afford to get along, the longer they are together, the more they love each other for a long time.
However, this premise is:
Be able to get along comfortably, without interfering with each other's privacy, without interfering with each other's lives;
Be able to protect each other, not speculate on each other at will, and will not make the private affairs of two people look different;
Be able to understand each other, do not lose their temper, do not elevate themselves, and demean the pillow person.
Two people have been together for a long time, never how rich and status the other person is, but only the other party has given you warmth and peace of mind.
Treat the pillow people, in fact, most of them are not not unloving, but just a little tired of the day, adhere to these three points, must be able to love comfortably, get along comfortably.
Author, Frank Fox
Figure, network
May you find in my words the ordinary years, a strong affection! Thanks for your attention!