01
Some netizens asked me, after the divorce, how should a woman go in the future? In general, women after divorce have three options: single, remarried, or remarried.
These three roads are relatively free and easy for women without children, but for divorced women with children, it is relatively difficult to choose when choosing, because what they think about most is how to choose the best for children.
My friend Tian Tian has been divorced from her ex-husband for more than 5 years, and her daughter lives with her after the divorce.
For so many years, we had been persuading her to find another one, but she just wouldn't, saying that she couldn't remarry even for her daughter.'
In fact, we all know that she is because she suffered betrayal in her first marriage and does not dare to reopen a new relationship, so she would rather be tired alone than enter the marriage again.
But her life after the divorce is really too bitter, a person with her daughter to rent a house, in order to fight for breath, do not want the man a penny of child support, and the hateful man just divorced and married his lover, has not been indifferent to her and his daughter.
Last year, she met her first love in high school, the other party is also divorced with a child, when the first love and she proposed to start a family together, she was initially somewhat moved, but after thinking about it, she finally refused.
We all advised her to seize this opportunity, but she firmly told us that if she did not live happily after remarrying, wouldn't it hurt my daughter even more? I didn't want my daughter to be hurt in any way, so I wouldn't marry again.
In this way, she has not remarried, and she has to hold on to all the burdens of the family alone.
02
In my opinion, Tian Tian is a strong woman, but I feel that many times a person is hard-shouldered, not necessarily the most beneficial to the growth of the child, and remarriage is not necessarily unhappy.
Her cousin's girlfriend Meng Jie and Tian Tian have the opposite idea, and her divorce from her ex-husband is also because the man is cheating.
After the divorce, she did not continue to resent each other, nor did she let her ex-husband disappear into her own life, and every week she let her ex-husband take her son to her grandmother's house for the weekend.
Before marriage, the ex-husband and in-laws love the children very much, after the divorce, they love the children more than before, so although the divorce agreed that the ex-husband would give the son 2,000 yuan per month, the ex-husband would call 1,000 yuan more every time he gave her money, saying that adults who were tired could not let the child be wronged.
Therefore, in the two years of divorce, Meng Jie and her son did not suffer a little in life.
In the third year of divorce, Meng Jie met her current husband through the introduction of others. After remarriage, the ex-husband is as good as ever to her son, and the current husband is also very good to her son, and the son has no sense of inferiority at all, and said that he has two good fathers.
Meng Jie said that when she first divorced, she was also afraid that her son would be hurt, so she has been trying not to let her son have any lack of love in his growth, and now it seems that his son's growth is healthy and happy, and she feels very relieved.
In the chat with Meng Jie, the sentence that left the deepest impression on me was:
"In fact, all experiences are an asset, whether you experience it is good or bad, after experiencing it, it is growth, and these growths can make you better, so it seems that everything is meaningful." 」
03
Yes, there are many things that people experience in their lives, and no matter how many changes these experiences bring to our lives, as long as we have been working hard to treat life, life will definitely get better and better.
And everything that happens in front of us is to make us stop and think about life, see what adjustments should be made in our lives, and then continue to pack up.
For example, after the divorce with the child, you have to support the family and work, how should you get through this difficult period?
In fact, at this time, you can go to your family for help, whether it is your own parents, or the child's father, you can help you, rather than having to carry it yourself.
What's more, the child's father also needs to take responsibility for the child's upbringing, and the child's growth cannot lack the love of the father.
Therefore, even if you are divorced, the relationship between the child and the father must continue, which is not only beneficial to the healthy growth of the child, but also a guarantee for your future life.
Having seen such a sentence, it makes sense:
"When a person understands how to manage relationships, life will be smoother."
It is true that in a person's life, all relationships are mutually supportive, including the ex after divorce, when we need help, take the initiative to ask for help, and strive to maintain the relationship between the child and the father, which is the one thing we have to do for the sake of the child.
Because a person's hard shoulder is not necessarily the best choice.