Seeing a very interesting question on the Internet, someone asked: When the marriage encounters problems, is it necessary to improve and continue the relationship, or to simply give up and reopen another new relationship?
Here's a highly praised answer: The biggest test of marriage for people is that you know that there will be countless unsatisfactory people, but still insist on learning to perceive happiness from it.
Although our marriage is not perfect, as long as we continue to learn to grow from it, learn to grow into the best people, and compete with each other in ability in the future, this is the greatest luck of marriage.
Some people in the face of the test of marriage, from the beginning of the thought of giving up, which will reduce the expectations of marriage, but also let the marriage lose the ultimate original intention, each other will not perceive the existence of happiness.
I remember watching an interview with an actor who said that there is no permanent marriage in the world, only couples who grow up together.
Until now, I agree with this sentence very much. Any marriage has the risk of emotional breakdown, and the most important thing is how the husband and wife should handle the relationship and how to maintain the relationship, which is the most important.
Marriage needs to grow together
I have seen the interview with the actor Tong Dawei, because he is too good, so his wife Guan Yue has no sense of existence, and even outside, the public calls her "Tong Dawei's wife".
Guan Yue once said in an interview that her marriage with Tong Dawei is a strong man and a weak feeling, if she does not do something, she will be considered to be just an accessory, and will always be criticized.
So she needs to change herself and grow into a self who is equal in ability with her husband, so that she can have a certain balance in the marriage.
After that, Guan Yue was admitted to the MBA, and finally through his own efforts, he was admitted to the Beijing Film Academy, and finally became a teacher at Nortel. He even became Tong Dawei's inner helper at work, silently supporting his work behind Tong Dawei's back.
Coupled with the fact that they have a common language, after more than ten years of marriage, both parties have been operating the marriage with their hearts, maintaining the freshness of the marriage for more than ten years, and using the freshness of marriage to support each other's continuous growth in life.
Good marriages have a law, that is, when the other party needs a higher level of matching, you must have the ability to stand shoulder to shoulder with them, so that the marriage can find a balance in the trivialities of life.
A good marriage is a common practice of two people, and the so-called common practice is to grow together in life and assume due responsibilities together.
The best state of marriage is to go hand in hand with each other, with the same goal, and grow together.
Only by constantly creating opportunities for growth in marriage, so that both parties can find balance in the marriage, so that one of them will not feel superior, and the other person will not feel inferior.
Marriage requires the abandonment of attachments
We went to a friend's house together, and after eating, the friend returned to the living room to sit and play games, and the wife was alone in cleaning up the kitchen utensils and washing the dishes.
At that time, the friend did not notice the look in his wife's eyes at all, and his heart was always in the game. The middle wife called her friend a few times, meaning to ask him to help mop the floor or something, and the friend's answer was to let him finish the game and go.
The wife's dishes were washed, and the friend's game was finished, but the friend forgot about mopping the floor.
Because I was present, I could feel that my friend's wife had been trying to suppress her anger, and she had reminded her friend, but the friend did not take his wife's reminder to heart at all.
When I was about to go out, my friend suddenly remembered that his wife had reminded him to mop the floor, so he immediately picked up the mop and dragged the whole house.
But I found that my friend's wife did not feel happy at all, and still had a very angry face.
I don't know if they had a big fight after I left, but at least I could guess that my friend must have been scolded by his wife.
Later, at dinner, I asked my friend curiously about that night.
The friend said that his wife did say this to him later, but instead of blaming and arguing, the two people made up the story of the incident, and each told each other their true feelings, and finally avoided the misunderstanding.
After listening to friends, they have a little more sense of identification with their way of getting along, and they are also very envious of their ability to deal with problems in time when they encounter situations, and open their hearts to each other in time to express their true feelings to each other.
If we learn to let go of attachment in the process of getting along, and can communicate and deal with problems in time when we encounter them, we may avoid many unnecessary troubles.
Learn to accept the imperfections of marriage
"The perfect marriage is about accepting each other's flaws".
I have always agreed with this statement, because imperfect marriage is the norm, after all, there is no perfect marriage in the world.
Once, in his spare time, he talked about marriage with colleagues, and several colleagues complained about their husbands' various shortcomings, and even complained about their husbands.
And one of the colleagues, when talking about her husband's shortcomings, involuntarily showed a sense of happiness on her face. She does not think that her husband's shortcomings are unforgivable, but rather that her husband's shortcomings are cute.
She said it was lovely to see her husband make a mistake and carefully explain it to her, and that although her husband was not perfect, he was perfect for his family and for her, and that was enough.
Later, I saw from the feelings of my parents that colleagues are not perfect, but also a kind of perfection, such as when the husband and wife do something wrong, the mother will always nag, so that the father will find something that can be done to make the mother happy, the two people are noisy, and find interesting things in the quarrel, such feelings will not be too boring.
There is no perfect partner with a score of 100 in a marriage, only a suitable partner with a score of 50. Only two 50 points working together can create a happy marriage of 100 points.
Those who pursue a perfect marriage will always impose their own consciousness on each other in the process of getting along, which will eventually only cause unhappiness and pain in marriage.
Accepting the imperfection of marriage does not represent a compromise on marriage, but respecting each other's feelings, making each other comfortable and free at the same time, you will also feel the joy and happiness of marriage.
Two people go from strange to familiar, because love has entered marriage. Since it is because of love, it is more important to support each other and grow up together after marriage.
Only by taking each other's imperfections as the condiment of marriage can we find pleasure in the boring life and continue to maintain the freshness of marriage.
In fact, our so-called happy marriage is just that the husband and wife continue to grind and grow in a dull life, and respect and understand each other in the process of growing up, so as to ensure that the marriage has been happy.
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