Netizens posted:
I am a post-70s, 51 years old this year, and my two children are married and have children, one is a one-year-old grandson, and the other is a two-year-old granddaughter.
When the two grandchildren were born, both the son and daughter had offered to let her help with the children.
Both were rejected by her.
Her reasoning is that she is not in good health, and she needs to take medicine for many years and even occasionally has to be hospitalized.
Taking care of children is a laborious task, and objectively speaking, it is really impossible to do it with my current physical condition.
She gave her son and daughter fifty thousand yuan each, and both sides were impartial, and in any case, whether it was a grandson or a granddaughter, the son and daughter were treated equally.
Ask for money, that's all, there is nothing more;
Want to contribute? Oh, who loves to go who goes, anyway I don't go.
After reading this submission, in fact, at the beginning I was still a little confused, and I also took the calculator to calculate.
Is the post-70s so old?
After a while, I reacted, the eldest post-70s is already 52 years old, but it is not the age of being a grandparent.
In fact, if you get married and have children very early, the biggest post-80s generation also has grandparents.
I remember that in my hometown, there was a girl after the eighties, others went to high school, she did not go to high school, got married after junior high school, and now she has a grandchild.
In stark contrast, there are several post-80s elderly men and women in our company who have not even married yet...
Our society has always existed in the tradition of "generational rearing", especially in recent years, young parents after the eighties and nineties, the pressure of life is too great, husband and wife, if only one works outside, there is no way to support the family, provide for the house, raise a baby...
So both people must go out to work, then the child can only be left to the old man to take.
Most of the elderly also accept this arrangement, pay for their children for a lifetime, and when they are old, they have to play the residual heat to help their children with children.
This phenomenon is more common in the post-60s and post-50s groups, whether in rural areas or cities, you will always see the scene of grandparents in their sixties with children.
But as the post-70s generation began to become grandparents, the commonplace scene showed signs of disappearing.
Many post-70s and post-80s people I know say:
If you become a grandparent in the future, you can pay for it if you have the ability, but you should not help with children.
Why is there such a change?
I summarized the voices of several middle-aged people after the 70s and 80s.
First, their own pension problem has not been solved, and they do not have the energy to manage the third generation
Now that life is so stressful, the money earned by middle-aged people's hard work is barely enough for the normal expenses of the family.
As for saving money for the elderly, it is a luxury thing that dare not be imagined, and it is a victory to be able to cope with the current life in the past.
In this case, I still don't know how to live after I am old and incapacitated!
Maybe you have to work until you are sixty or seventy years old, and you have the time and energy to manage the third generation.
Look at our next door Japan and South Korea is the most vivid example, the taxi driver has a lot of gray hair.
Our generation is destined to be a hard worker, and it will not be able to rest for a lifetime.
I even have a colleague after the 80s who said:
"I will never urge my son to marry in the future.
When he got married, I had to buy him a house, and when he had a child, I had to help him with the baby, and I thought about it.
Now I understand that it is good to be single, and the whole family is relaxed! ”
Second, the more you do, the more you make mistakes, just don't do it
Since the post-80s, young parents have paid attention to scientific upbringing of their children, and they have simply scorned the old yellow calendar of the previous generation.
How the post-80s generation views the parenting style of their parents, and how the children of the post-80s generation will look at the post-80s in the future.
So alternate generations of raising is actually thankless, you bother to work hard to the end, people may not necessarily thank you, but also think that you do not do well, no, not scientific.
The old man's original slow thinking can not keep up with the trip, in case he repeatedly bumps the child, the care is not good, that is the daughter-in-law's lifelong heart can not go through the stem.
Third, do not expect sons and daughters-in-law to be filial piety and support, it is better to be better for themselves for the rest of their lives
I heard a story like this:
The daughter-in-law after 95 said to her mother-in-law after 70:
"If my mother-in-law doesn't help me with my children, then as a daughter-in-law, I have no obligation to take care of my mother-in-law in the future."
The post-70s mother-in-law retorted:
"I'm not obligated to help you with your children either!"
The daughter-in-law's attitude is that she must help her with the children, because the daughter-in-law says that she cannot give up her job.
And said that if she did not help her with the child, then she would not have the obligation to give her mother-in-law a pension in the future.
In fact, the person who can say this, even if you help her with the baby, she may not be able to serve you in the future.
Because there is no emotion between such exchanges, all your efforts are just an exchange of benefits in her eyes.
At that time, she will pick all kinds of problems, saying that you are not doing well here, and where you are not doing well.
In the end, no matter how much you pay, you will deduct the "points" for you, and you will not take care of you in the future.
So it's better not to take on this responsibility, and you don't need to fulfill any obligations.
Whoever has the child is in charge, and if you really need help, you can support a little cash.
discuss:
As a post-70s generation, will you help bring your own children with babies in the future?
Feel free to share in the comments section.