Hello everyone, I'm Seven Joy Mom~
Have you ever encountered a time when a child loses control and loses his temper?
How do you feel when you see a child howling like crazy when you can't hear anything? How do you do that?
I've been in this situation many times anyway.
The child was very energetic in the first second of building blocks, and the next second he cried because the blocks collapsed, and when he was angry, he threw the whole toy all over the ground;
I just happily watched my favorite cartoon, and the next second I lost control of my temper because of the TV stutter.
It seems that I will experience this kind of moment every day in my life, and in the face of my child's "unreasonable trouble", I try to convince people with reason and reason with my child.
But the results are often unsatisfactory, and the final result is always that I can't help but lose my temper with the child, and the two people are deadlocked with each other, and neither one is willing to show weakness.
I believe that many mothers will have similar experiences, whether you are reasonable or angry at your children, it seems completely useless.
So, what should we do in the face of a child's uncontrollable tantrum?
To solve this problem, we need to first understand why the child loses control and loses his temper.
If you have such troubles, then follow me to find out.
There's a reason a child loses control and loses his temper
Since becoming a mother, I have changed a lot, and I am particularly interested in the psychology of children, and I also want to solve various problems that arise from children. I read a lot of psychology books and also took some certificates as psychological counselors, the purpose of which is to better understand children and understand children better.
Children are also independent individuals, and it is perfectly normal for them to lose their temper. In fact, there are several main reasons for children's tantrums.
Children do not have the ability to control their emotions
Emotions are complex human emotions, and if you want to break them down, there are many types, such as happy, excited, happy, depressed, regret, worry, fear, shame, sadness, and so on.
These emotions are relatively very subtle differences, the first thing a child has to learn to understand and recognize these emotions, and then to learn to control emotions.
Children in early childhood have just been in the initial stage of independence, and children's language, emotional control and other abilities have not been fully formed, and they are still in the stage of ignorance.
When a child encounters a problem or difficulty that he cannot solve, the child will have an emotional breakdown and cry.
Children do not have the ability to solve problems
Imagine that when you encounter a problem that you can't solve, you will be helpless, but because we are adults, we can control our emotions relatively well, and we will not throw tantrums and cry, but the anxiety in our hearts will also exist.
The same is true of children, their hearts are more simple, their minds are more delicate and simple.
When the child encounters difficulties, these difficulties have exceeded the scope of the child's own solution, the child will find that his ability is insufficient, this frustration will make the child feel lost and anxious.
Children can not solve the problem in front of them, will find ways to vent their emotions through other methods, crying and tantrums is the most common way for children.
Therefore, from this point of view, children's crying also has a certain positive impact, which can help children eliminate negative emotions in their hearts to a certain extent (of course, this is not to encourage children to solve problems only by crying), and it is also a good thing for children's growth not to let children be disturbed by emotions for a long time.
Children cry for help
If a child is in a central position in the family, and the rest of the family follows the child in everything, then the child is likely to form the concept of "I am the central position, everyone must listen to me".
Once a child finds himself unnoticed, the child will find a way to create trouble to get the parents' attention.
The most common way for children in early childhood is to cry, and as soon as I cry, my parents will notice me, and they will come to ask me what happened and help me solve the problem.
The child loses control and loses her temper, and the way the mother responds is important
As I described earlier, many parents will try to communicate rationally with their children at the moment when their children lose their temper, but once frustrated, their emotional values will soar, and their parents will be angry with their children, and neither side will let anyone.
The results of both treatment methods are not satisfactory, because these methods ignore the most important thing, that is, to see the child's current emotional response and give the child the response he needs.
That is to say, when the child loses control and loses his temper, no matter why the child is like this, the child just needs to be seen by you.
When the child is out of control, we should not immediately stop or reprimand, we can sit next to the child and look at her quietly, wait patiently for a while, and give the child a little time to let her vent these emotions on her own.
When the child's mood eases, we try to give the child a warm embrace, and gently say to the child, "Mom knows that you have just been in a bad mood, I see your sadness, but the next time we encounter this kind of thing, we can try to solve it in another way, maybe the result will be better." ”
Seeing the child's current inner needs to be faced squarely, help the child understand his emotions, improve the child's ability to solve problems on his own, gently and firmly give the child strength, so that the child can grow better.
Therefore, the way the mother responds is too important for the child, I hope you don't make a mistake again.
How do you deal with your child's tantrums?
I am Qiyue Mom, a mother of a three-year-old child, and I hope that some of my parenting experiences can be conveyed to you through the platform to provide a little help for your parenting road! You can follow me to learn and grow together!
I am @Seven Joy Mom, follow me and I talk about parenting easily together!
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