Hello everyone, I'm Seven Joy Mom~
How will you respond to your child's questions or requests?
Is it a perfunctory job in a hurry to deal with the questions raised by the child? Or do you shift the subject without thinking and ignore the questions your child asks? Or can you calmly discuss with your child?
Many parents around them are still patient with their children, and when the children ask some "strange" questions, the parents just start to explain to the children, but when the children continue to ask deeply, many parents slowly lose patience.
One situation is that parents feel that the questions asked by their children are more childish or strange, and parents themselves do not have the knowledge reserve to explain the answers to their children, so they simply ignore the children's questions.
Another situation is that the parents themselves are more impatient, when the child continues to ask the root of the parents will lose the original patience, the most common way is that the parents will find a reason to casually prevaricate the child, this matter is over.
In fact, it seems to be a simple response, but in fact, the different responses of parents will directly affect the direction of children's lives.
Today, follow me to take a look at these completely different ways of responding, only 1 of the 4 ways is positive, it is recommended that you check it against each other, and if there is no change, it is encouraged.
4 different ways parents respond affect their children's lives
Irrelevant reactive type
The literal meaning of the irrelevant reaction is very easy to understand, to the effect that the child is saying A mother but reacts to B, and the two people seem to be communicating together, but in fact, the two people are not saying the same thing at all.
For a very simple example, the child plays with the sand with the children downstairs, shoveling, transporting, piling, building the whole process of the child is personally involved, and finally building a huge "castle", which is the most proud and exciting thing for the child.
The child rushed home excitedly and told his mother that he wanted to share his joy and sense of accomplishment with his mother.
At that time, the mother heard the child's description and said, "What kind of sand, take off your shoes quickly, don't make the house full of sand."
Although the mother responds, she does not understand the child's feelings, and the mother's focus is completely different from the child's.
The content of the mother's response is of no benefit to the child, the child does not feel the recognition from the mother, on the contrary, the child obtains only a sense of nothingness, which will make the child unable to locate his own existence value, so that the child loses enthusiasm and confidence.
Sometimes I do something similar and don't react until after the fact, and what the child needs in the moment must not be what I give.
Self-centered
I don't care about what you do, what you do according to my wishes is what I focus on, this is the self-centered type.
This "self" refers to the parent's self, not the child's self.
Because only when the child does things according to the wishes of the parents, the parents will be satisfied in their hearts, so that they will give the child a response, otherwise the parents will take the initiative to block and ignore it.
For example, the child has an active personality and likes sports-type sports, but the mother feels that the girl should be quiet and quiet, and reports the child to the piano, calligraphy and other projects that require meditation and patience.
The consequence of this situation is that although the child will practice piano and calligraphy, it is against the heart, and the child will not feel happy and reluctant to learn.
You can check for yourself, have you ever done anything similar?
If so, your child must have felt unhappy at that moment.
Emotional reversal type
This kind of parent can be described as "iron hearted", it is generally difficult to understand the positive emotions expressed by the child, and they will find various clues to prove that the child's emotions are wrong.
The child's current feelings are obviously happy and happy, but parents have to reverse the child's emotions into sadness through their own words.
Parents with knives and tofu hearts are the best at doing this kind of thing, even if the parents want their children to get better in their hearts, but what comes out of their mouths is heart-wrenching bad words.
Children who are constantly subjected to emotional reversals from their parents will always feel lost and pessimistic, and over time, children will turn a blind eye to the beauty around them and lose their eyes and hearts to find good.
This emotional experience can cause the child to lose self-confidence and become desperate, affecting the child's future interpersonal interactions.
Therefore, parents, you should check yourself, and never say bad words to hurt your children, because this invisible harm will really affect your child's life.
Intimate and interactive
From infancy, children gradually develop social connections with their parents, and this connection is done through intimate interaction.
Even a child's crying can contain many deep meanings, which parents can certainly distinguish clearly if they are carefully discerned.
The ideal parent-child interaction is that the parents can see and respond to what the child thinks in time.
When the child is eager to express his feelings, parents can be on the same frequency as the child, happy and lost with the child.
Because the "seeing" of parents will transmit a sense of security and happiness to children, this feeling of being recognized by parents will enhance children's self-confidence, and children can gain a sense of accomplishment in the process.
Parents should give their children life, but also give their children guidance in life. This process of guidance is done in the process of communication between parents and children.
Different responses from parents will bring completely different psychological feelings to children, positive responses will bring children emotions that are understood, and negative responses will make children lose their sense of existence.
For young children, parents are the beacons of their own navigation, and giving children the right guidance is what parents should do.
Dear parents, please be sure to check yourself to see which category you belong to, if you have the above problems, you must remember to adjust yourself, because your growth will affect your child's future!
I am Qiyue Mom, a mother of a three-year-old child, and I hope that some of my parenting experiences can be conveyed to you through the platform to provide a little help for your parenting road! You can follow me to learn and grow together!
I am @Seven Joy Mom, follow me and I talk about parenting easily together!
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