Hello everyone, I'm Seven Joy Mom~
After eating dinner, the downstairs square of the community is full of people, because the weather is relatively hot, everyone takes the child out to consume food, the child's excessive energy is consumed, I believe that the child will sleep more soundly at night.
I was playing downstairs with my daughter, when I suddenly heard a little boy crying for his mother to hug him, and the child's cries resounded throughout most of the community.
A few of our mothers were more worried about the child, so they went up to see what was going on, listened to the conversation between the mother and son, and knew that it was the little boy's mother who felt that the time was not early, and the child had to go to school the next day, so she wanted to take the little boy back to take an early bath.
However, seeing that there were many children playing downstairs, the little boy did not have the heart to go back with his mother at this time, and the little boy did not have enough fun, so he shook off his mother's hand and began to run.
Seeing the child's appearance, the little boy's mother was angry, so she went up and grabbed the little boy's arm, saying the words "look at you disobedient" in her mouth, and slapped the little boy's ass with her hand.
Maybe he was hurt, and the little boy started crying, and that was the scene we first heard.
Even if the little boy's body was beaten, his ass felt very painful, and his mother yelled at himself, and in this embarrassing situation, the little boy still reached out to let his mother hug.
Looking at the pitiful look of the child who reached out to hug, the mother also had a look of regret and heartache, picked up the child and went home.
In fact, this scene often happens in our lives, mischievous children will create all kinds of headaches and troubles for us every day, and at the moment we are really angry and angry, and it is a roar or a beating to the child.
The child was beaten to tears, but the child not only did not get angry with himself, but followed him like a fart to hug. Whenever this time you are particularly sorry, regret how can you not help it?
You may think that if someone else beat me, I would have ignored him unless he apologized to me, but why does the child have to be hugged by his mother after being scolded and crying?
In fact, there are deep reasons for this performance of children, if you can understand a little more, maybe you will be more distressed about children!
Children will have a deep attachment to their mother
Developmental psychology points out that when the child comes to the beginning of the world, there will be a social connection in the care of the mother, and the child will form an attachment relationship to the mother.
The child's heart is very pure and simple, and the love for the mother is unreserved and conditional. Especially at this stage of infancy, the child has not yet formed his own independent consciousness, in the eyes of the child, the mother and themselves are one, and the mother is their whole world.
When the child grows to the beginning of the early childhood, although gradually begin to have a little sense of independence, the child at this stage is still inseparable from the mother's close care.
The child is afraid that he will find his mother, he will find his mother when he is nervous, he will smile at his mother when he is happy, and he will cry and find his mother's arms.
The child has a strong attachment to the mother in life, and the child is afraid that his wrong behavior (or the behavior that the mother does not like) will make the mother leave him, so whenever the mother is angry or yells at himself, the child will not leave the mother at all, but will want to throw himself into the arms of the mother.
Children seek security in their mothers
I can often hear some mothers or elders say, "If you don't obey your mother anymore, you won't want you", which on the surface seems to be educating children, but in fact, it is sprinkling salt on the children's young minds, bringing great psychological trauma to the children's hearts.
The most feared thing for children at this stage is insecurity, for example, some children are timid and do not like to talk, and some children are helpless and like to cry when they encounter a little thing, which are the manifestations of children's lack of security.
Excluding the child's innate genetic factors, many times it is the mother's own words and deeds to the child that have a negative impact on the child, so that the child gradually loses the sense of security.
For example, when the child makes a mistake, the mother will scare the child not to have the child; when the child is naughty, the mother will threaten the child with a warning tone; when the child does not do things according to the mother's wishes, the mother will scold the child, the mother's emotional instability and repeated attitude towards the child will make the child feel confused, the child will lose his judgment and begin to become overwhelmed.
On the contrary, you will find that when the child encounters problems or difficulties, the mother's gentle tone and a warm embrace can make the child feel safe in an instant.
When the child is snuggled in the arms of the mother, it is the most relaxed moment, when the child can not only clearly express himself, but also get strength from the mother's attitude.
Be more understanding and patient when your child is vulnerable
I am also an acute child, and it is easy to be impatient when encountering things, because I want to solve the problem at the moment, but even if I do, I will forget to consider the child's emotions.
There is another situation is that the mother is in a bad mood at the moment, encounters unpleasant things, the things the child does are just the fuse, and the mother vents her emotions with this matter, which will bring bad negative effects to the child.
When the child has a problem or is emotionally fragile, mothers should be able to give understanding and patience, help the child sort out the cause of the problem to find the crux of the problem, give warm embrace and understanding when the child needs it, and build confidence for the child.
In ordinary life, there is less impatience and venting, and more support and understanding, and children can naturally feel the love and security of their mothers.
Do you understand your child's performance? Now do you know more about the child's heart, I believe you can also be a better mother!
I am Qiyue Mom, a mother of a three-year-old child, and I hope that some of my parenting experiences can be conveyed to you through the platform to provide a little help for your parenting road! You can follow me to learn and grow together!
I am @Seven Joy Mom, follow me and I talk about parenting easily together!
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