Hello everyone, I'm Seven Joy Mom~
What if you meet a child who can't afford to lose and cries at every turn? It's a headache to think about.
The child can not stand a little frustration, whether at home or in public, as long as the child does not get what he wants, the child can immediately stage a crying war for you.
No matter what thirty-six you use, the child can be automatically immune, the small ear can not hear any of the truth you say, if this is in a crowded place, it is estimated that parents will feel embarrassed to buckle their toes.
There is a 4-year-old boy in the next door neighbor's house, although the gender is boy, but this little boy often cries, the neighbor has a headache, and the little boy is also famous in our community because he likes to cry.
A few days ago, several children played with sand downstairs, and at first the children had a lot of fun, and then the little boy saw another child's shovel, so he ran straight up to get it.
The other child seemed to be aware of it, and went directly to the other side with the shovel to play, without taking care of the little boy.
At this time, the little boy felt that he could not stand it, and felt very wronged in his heart, so he stood in the same place and began to cry, and it was useless for the neighbor to coax him, until finally the neighbor directly carried the child home.
A few of our parents witnessed the whole process and saw that the neighbors told the children a lot of truths but to no avail, and the little boy listened to it and just cried out for himself.
This happens not once or twice, every time several children play together, as long as the little boy does not get what he wants (other children's things) or loses the game, the little boy will immediately cry in place.
Crying as soon as a child loses is not only a personality problem, but also a deep-seated reason
Some mothers say that their children are born with weak personalities and love to cry at every turn, but in fact, only a small number of children will have such a situation. In addition to children's personality problems, there are actually many other reasons.
Children lack self-confidence
Self-confidence is an important trait in the child's personality, if the child lacks confidence in himself, he will show timidity, encounter setbacks and dare not face it, will constantly find excuses to prevaricate or avoid (such as crying or letting the mother help himself); when he encounters things he likes or wants, he does not dare to work hard, and shows that he has no desire and no desire (but he is very mad in his heart).
Children who lack self-confidence will have 100 reasons to escape the truth, and crying is one of the most common methods for children. As long as the child cries, he will attract the attention of the mother, and the mother will find a way to help her solve the problem, so that she can avoid directly facing the contradiction and conflict.
Therefore, we can also say that crying as soon as the child loses is a means for the child, and the child can easily solve the problem by using this means.
Just like the little boy in the above article, as long as he encounters a problem or something that is not going well, the little boy will cry, at this time her mother will come over, whether it is to comfort or reason, or even communicate with the other party, these mothers will do it, the little boy is only responsible for crying once.
The more the child cries, the more dependent he becomes, the less and less self-confidence, and the opportunity to grow up, which is a great loss for the child!
Children are too results-oriented
As long as the results they want do not achieve the child will cry, this is because the child pays too much attention to the results of things and neglects the process of achieving the goal.
For example, the child wants to build a castle-shaped building block, after his own efforts, the shape of the castle has begun to take shape, but the child thinks that he has not completed the ideal goal in his heart, and he is very dissatisfied with himself, so he begins to cry.
Children tend to pay too much attention to results and will have a strong competitive spirit, not allowing themselves to make mistakes or failures, because this will make children feel frustrated.
Setting goals is a good thing, so that children can know the direction of their efforts, if you pay too much attention to the results will limit the child's progress and growth. Because the child's eyes can only see the results, but actually ignores the more important things.
Reasoning when a child cries is useless
Some mothers will say that I myself advocate scientific parenting, I never beat my children, every time I am reasonable with my children, but the children seem to be unable to listen to it at all, and still just cry with their own care.
In fact, when the child is crying, you are useless to reason with the child, because at this time, the emotions in the child's brain have the upper hand, the emotions control the reason, and the child automatically blocks all the sounds in the outside world.
That is to say, no matter how crazy the mother says, the child will automatically block it, and no word can be heard in the ear, and the child will only vent his emotions madly.
Moms may wish to try "process education", which may bring different results
In normal times, the mother can consciously guide the child to pay attention to the development process of things, teach the child to look at the problem with the vision of development, and do not limit his own vision, so that the child can slowly understand that everything is not fixed and unchanged, but a process that is completely in change.
Just because you don't perform well today doesn't mean you don't perform well tomorrow, and what you won't do now doesn't mean you won't be in the future. The most important thing is to learn to work hard and constantly adhere to these powerful forces and guarantees, so that children have a balanced mentality.
Mothers can read more picture book knowledge to their children, and let their children have a sense of substitution through the form of stories and understand the truth from the stories.
In addition, mothers should lead by example, do not be impatient and bored when they encounter problems, but be able to treat them more rationally and pay attention to the process of hard work.
As long as you maintain a good attitude, master a good method, have enough effort to persevere, and keep the process excellent, then the result will naturally not be very bad.
If you also have a child who cries when he loses, try this method!
I am Qiyue Mom, a mother of a three-year-old child, and I hope that some of my parenting experiences can be conveyed to you through the platform to provide a little help for your parenting road! You can follow me to learn and grow together!
I am @Seven Joy Mom, follow me and I talk about parenting easily together!
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