01
The same is marriage, why do some people think it is the sublimation of love, but some people compare it to the graveyard of love?
Two people from love to marriage, is a process from passion to plain.
When the road to marriage loses the blessing of hormones, whether it is getting wider and wider or entering a dead end depends on how the people in the marriage operate.
And there are no other special secrets to running a marriage. It is nothing more than two people to respect each other, understand each other, and put themselves in the shoes of each other in everything.
If one of them is always self-centered, always looking high and defiant, then even the deepest love will be exhausted.
Yanzi (pseudonym) just does not understand this truth, and uses her husband's preference for herself to make a blessing in the marriage, and eventually loses her marriage.
02
Yanzi was born into an ordinary peasant family.
After graduating from college five years ago, she refused her parents' request to let her go back to her hometown to meet the son of a rich family in a neighboring village, and decided to stay in the city.
She believes that although the boy in his hometown is well-off, he is always a farmer. She didn't want to marry a farmer anymore, she wanted to find a city person to marry and have children, and be a city person.
Yanzi's appearance conditions are very good, there are many boys chasing her, and there are many who spoil her and follow her in everything. Husband Liu Yang is one of them.
On the condition, Liu Yang is not the most outstanding one, but Liu Yang is definitely the one with the best temper and the easiest to be pinched by Yanzi.
Usually, not only did he not dare to yell at Yanzi, but even Yanzi made unreasonable trouble, he could be patient and coax her until she was happy.
Isn't a woman's poor life just trying to find a man who loves herself and is willing to accommodate herself? What's more, Liu Yang's conditions are not bad, there is a car, a house, a deposit or a local account, which fully meets her requirements for the other half.
After spending more than half a year together, the two people were officially married.
To be able to stand out from many suitors and let the goddess in his heart become his wife, Liu Yang did not mention how happy he was. Therefore, after marriage, Liu Yang still cherishes Yanzi very much, and can almost be said to be obedient to her.
And for Yanzi, finally getting what she wants to become a city person, her heart is also beautiful.
But she is very tall, and she also loves to put up shelves, and always thinks that with her beauty, her husband should be good to himself. Otherwise, how can you be worthy of your own "marriage"?
It is precisely because of this sense of superiority that Yanzi is very inactive in marriage.
She not only pushed most of the housework to Liu Yang to do, but also always got along with Liu Yang in a domineering posture on weekdays, and never took care of Liu Yang and his parents.
And every time there is a new year's festival, Yanzi gives her own parents' holiday fees, and she can give more. To Liu Yang's parents, they were not even willing to make a condolence call.
Liu Yang was quite worried about this.
But when she thought that if she told Yanzi about this, she would definitely be unhappy again, and then she would pull out a bunch of theories that were simply untenable, and say that the black was hard to white. In the end, it will become your own fault.
It is better to forget it, and patience will pass.
However, their lives are more than that.
After getting married, Yanzi's parents and younger siblings always came to live in Liu Yang's house every three to five minutes.
And every time I came, I didn't do anything. A large group of idle people had to wait for Liu Yang to come home from work to cook for them. As late as Liu Yang worked, they waited until as late as possible. Sometimes I really can't wait, so I go to the restaurant, and I never think of packing a copy for Liu Yang, even if they don't have leftovers.
The family is still loud, and the family is noisy every day.
Especially the brother-in-law and sister-in-law, at night, one plays games and one cooks porridge on the phone. For a while this burst a foul mouth, the next moment that cried and laughed, and the volume was higher than one, which seriously affected Liu Yang's normal rest.
Therefore, every time they look forward to the day when they want to go back, Liu Yang can't care about the "sweeping" of his wife's family on his own home, what they look up to and want to take away, as long as it is not too precious, just feel free.
To tell the truth, Liu Yang really didn't like this family.
He had also thought of divorce, but again and again he had given up on the idea. It wasn't until something happened later that made him completely determined to end the marriage.
It happened more than a month ago when my mother suddenly fainted and was taken to the hospital.
It is reasonable to say that the mother-in-law is hospitalized, and when the daughter-in-law has to take turns with the in-laws, she must take turns to accompany her. Yanzi was good, under the pretext that her mother's family came as a guest and needed her to greet her, she was stunned that she had not even stepped into the door of the hospital half a step, and she had not mentioned a word of at least concern. Just at home and the mother's family East Parents, West Family short talk.
Liu Yang asked her to go to the hospital to help when she went to work during the day to help her father, but Yanzi also refused, saying that she would not take care of her mother.
Liu Yang had to ask a nurse to be responsible for accompanying him in the morning, his father took over in the afternoon, and then he rushed to replace his father after work in the evening and stayed to accompany him at night.
After running back and forth like this for a week, her mother could finally be discharged from the hospital and go home to recuperate, and Liu Yang could finally go home and get a good night's sleep.
When he dragged his tired body home, the smell of smoke in the room, the melon seeds on the ground, and the five tweeters that filled his ears made him lose his breath for an instant. But he put up with it and planned to take a shower and get a good night's sleep.
Who knew that as soon as he came out of the bathroom, his wife asked him to cook food for everyone in a commanding tone.
Liu Yang finally couldn't bear to completely explode, and without saying a word, he blasted his wife and family out, and filed for divorce to let them return to the farm.
03
Nowadays, there are more and more women like Yanzi who are inactive in marriage because of a little pitiful sense of superiority.
And through her story, it also tells us the following two truths.
One: In marriage, do not take the other party's preference as your own sense of superiority.
Someone once said that whoever moves the heart first in the world of feelings loses.
Although this is not absolute, it is indeed a true portrayal of many loves today.
The one who is the first to move in love will always care more about each other than the one who is pursued, and is more willing to pay for each other, tolerate and accommodate each other.
If the other party can cherish this preference and then pay the same care to protect the relationship, the ending will often be better.
However, in real life, there are many women who are as pampered and proud as Yanzi, who regard the other party's preference as their own sense of superiority, and are indispensable in marriage.
They do not cherish and love each other because others care and pay. Instead, she takes everything for granted, unscrupulously squandering the good of others.
The result of this is often like a yanzi. After consuming the enthusiasm of the husband, the marriage has come to an end, and it is difficult to continue.
So women must remember to use your advantage as the key to open the door to happiness. Don't take it as a sense of superiority and bring it into your marriage to look down on your lover.
Second: Once there is a sense of superiority between husband and wife, it is difficult to have a sense of happiness.
To ask what is the most comfortable way for couples to get along, I think it doesn't have to be like glue, or respect each other, but it must be equal to each other.
It is worth noting that the equality mentioned here does not mean that I cooked rice today, and the dishes and chopsticks must be washed by you. My phone password tells you that your phone should also be available to me at any time.
Two couples live a life, who pays more, who pays less, these are no problem. If you are too preoccupied, it will hurt peace.
Equality should be equal in heart, and we need to respect each other, encourage each other, and love each other.
If the one with good conditions takes the other party's preference as his own sense of superiority, he always puts himself on a high place to look down on his lover, and everything is self-centered and ignores his partner's feelings. Such a marriage, it is difficult to harvest happiness.
Marriage is a matter for two people. Looking up for a long time, everyone will be tired.
Therefore, whether it is a man or a woman, whoever is in better condition. As long as you decide to live with each other for a lifetime, you must learn to put away your sense of superiority in marriage.
Respect each other with an equal mindset and guard your love.
Text/No Pen