In the concept of adults, children are the most innocent and happy, and do not need to bear the pressure of life and emotional entanglements like adults.
However, things that seem small in adults become a big stone in the hearts of children, and children are overwhelmed.
Recently, Jia Jia's mother was very confused and worried, the child was only 7 years old, and she always shouted inexplicably that she did not want to live and wanted to die.
Moreover, it is not the first time that the child has said this, but recently he has shouted more frequently, asking him, he just cried, saying that he was afraid of too much homework. But the mother feels that the homework is such a small thing, and the child will not want to die for this matter.
It is understood that Jia Jia is in the second grade this year, belongs to the type of children who are smart but not hardworking, usually do homework is always procrastinating, can be from 4 pm to more than 9 pm, and even sometimes later. Mom was very anxious, but there was no way, so she always stared at him, and sometimes when she saw him in a daze, she would reprimand him and urge him to hurry.
This child is also slower in other aspects, procrastinating, getting up in the morning, brushing his teeth, eating very slowly, always having to be urged by his mother in the back. Sometimes, my mother was too anxious to scold him a few times, saying that he was useless. But children now often have the idea of not wanting to live, which makes the mother worry.
In fact, seven- or eight-year-old children do begin to think about "life and death", when he no longer believes that people die in another place as they did in kindergarten, and they begin to know that when people die, they disappear from this world.
They also began to think about why they wanted to live and what the meaning of life was. If a child feels that living is hard, repressed, and the future is full of difficulties, he often feels depressed, helpless, and sometimes wants to die to gain liberation.
Recognizing the stress in children's lives and patiently working with them to analyze and solve these problems is necessary for every parent.
Of course, even if you are an adult, you cannot solve all the problems in the lives of children. But you can provide emotional support to your child, advice on how to deal with problems, and help them grow into happy, well-adapted people.
When children feel stressed, they don't necessarily want to die, and they may also have the following 7 manifestations:
Have nightmares
When children feel anxious, fearful, helpless, and unable to express their inner emotions in words, dreams become a safer way to release emotions.
In the minds of imaginative schoolchildren, closets can be a hiding place for demons and ghosts. If your child has repeated nightmares, is unwilling to get out of bed in the morning, is listless all day, and often loses his temper for no reason, something must be bothering them.
Good to cry
The child tries to take everything he sees into his heart, tries to understand the world, which is a little overwhelmed for him. Crying is a natural healing mechanism, and when children are stimulated too strongly to relax, they collapse and then cry loudly.
As children age, tears are still a way for them to release stress when they are emotionally agitated. So children should not be stopped from crying, nor should they be ignored, but should be treated with love and peace of mind.
When your child is crying, don't blame him, hug him to bring him back to calm, listen patiently, and trust his feelings. Deal with your child's emotions first, and then deal with specific events.
Excessive anxiety
It is only natural for a child to be afraid when he sees a report of a disaster in the news. Similarly, it is normal for students to be afraid of upcoming exams.
The way to help children alleviate their fears and worries is to face them squarely. It is useless to say "nothing to be afraid of", instead, to allow the child to concentrate on what is within their control.
Repeated illness
If your child is screaming about a stomachache or headache but doesn't have any external symptoms, he may be nervous.
There was once a child who was afraid to go to school, and every morning he had a fever and repeated it, but as long as his parents agreed that he would not go to school, he was like a child who had nothing to do.
As a parent, even if you suspect that your child is feigning illness, you should take him to the doctor. Once the disease is diagnosed, the child's emotions and psychology should be treated first, not physically.
It needs to be reminded that it is the child that parents need to care about, not just his stomach or headaches. When your child is unwell, it is best for parents to give their child more companionship and spend this time with him, so that he feels that you are trustworthy because you can solve the problems that put pressure on his life.
Refusal to eat
Many experts remind parents to pay attention to their children's diet. If anorexia or other disgruntled body language is present, parents should take it seriously. If this is ignored, it is possible to develop an eating disorder.
Some picky eaters have small appetites and no appetite. Others explicitly say they don't like certain meals, but eventually they eat what they like; for children who may have eating disorders, they simply don't think about whether they are hungry or not.
When it comes to diet, simply dividing food into "good" and "bad" or excessive exercise to "burn fat" may mean that your child is trying to control his or her body in an unhealthy way to achieve the goal of controlling stress.
When your child is reluctant to eat, don't force your child to eat, but should change the type of meal often; encourage your child to help you cook and help you prepare the meals they love.
If his bad tendencies during meals persist for a long time or he loses a lot of weight, it is best to seek help from a child psychological counselor.
Aggressive behavior
The only way a child with limited language skills can reduce stress is to bite, provoke, or bully his playmate.
Although the cause of this behavior may be related to the growth environment and family education, the child's anger is more likely to stem from depressed mood.
As a parent, sometimes you need to reduce your control over your child and should tell him as little as possible about what to do and how to do it, otherwise it will only increase his stress. Children need to play carefree and do what they want to do.
Lying and cheating
Preschoolers aged four or five sometimes lie, but they often don't know the consequences of their actions. They're just distinguishing between what's true and what's false.
Older children also lie when they are already able to tell the difference between true and false, mostly because they are under a lot of pressure.
Children around the age of 8 are more concerned about everything they do in school.
At age 10, they will have things like "Do people like me?" ”
Such social considerations, in the final analysis, are to please their parents and fear of failing to live up to their expectations. If they admit that they have failed their parents' expectations, they will feel ashamed.
So they make up things that their parents like to hear, or make them happy, or like to be noticed and appreciated when they tell stories.
If you find that your child is lying or cheating on you, remember that they are more about pleasing their parents or avoiding their parents being angry. If lying has become a habit of his, it is best to take him to see children's psychological counseling.
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