Wen 丨 Forest Mommy
Recently, the TV series "Dear Child" was broadcast on CCTV, and the first episode was broadcast with word of mouth, and the audience collective feedback that the plot was too real!
Since Fang Yinuo gave birth to a child, her nerves have been tense all the time, and she is very anxious.
Don't trust anyone when it comes to kids.
I believe that many female viewers have had the same experience.
Why are new moms so anxious?
Many new fathers may not be able to understand, and even feel that their wives are unreasonable, resulting in many problems between husband and wife.
Art comes from life and is higher than life, and the plot of the dear child may be a little extreme, but there is no lack of shadows of real life.
This is also the reason why many moms resonate.
Why, exactly, why do women become a little "incomprehensible" after becoming a mother?
In addition to the effects of sudden changes in an individual's body hormone levels, there are many external environmental influences.
The focus of the family shifts from the mother to the baby, resulting in a psychological gap
It can be seen from the play that before Fang Yinuo gave birth to a child, her husband was very considerate of him, and the state of the two was relatively relaxed.
But then:
Fang Yinuo could not contact her husband during childbirth; there was no family in the delivery room to receive her; after arriving at the ward, the family surrounded the child;
When I was discharged from the hospital, the home hygiene was a mess, the table and bed were piled up with debris; feeding the child in the middle of the night, wanting her husband to pour a cup of water, Xiao Lu slept very deeply...
A series of events have caused Fang Yinuo to fall into a neglected psychological gap.
A lot of things, when you're not in that person's situation, you won't know how he was feeling at the time.
This sudden change in the role of life after giving birth is a very big test for women, men feel that things that are natural, women will feel sad and sad, it is difficult to communicate.
When women fall into this difficult situation of role change, and the people around her have no way to understand her and communicate with her well, she can easily fall into postpartum depression.
The high incidence of postpartum depression in recent years is enough to show that this point needs to be paid more attention to.
To avoid excessive maternal anxiety, many homework needs to be done in advance:
If the wife gives birth to a child, even if there is a big thing, don't leave. At the door of the delivery room, give the mother enough attention and care in time. After all, the one who was just born can't understand anything, and there will be time to kiss and hug in the future. Pregnant women confinement, do a good job of patient companionship, relieve anxiety. Mothers during the month are usually anxious and become very nagging. As a family, it is more about patiently listening, rather than rushing to refute and intensifying contradictions. Accompany her through this special period smoothly, and many things will be solved.
The most critical thing in the confinement is patience, companionship, and tolerance, because the progesterone in the maternal body is riding a roller coaster, which will cause her emotions to go up and down, it is difficult to control herself, at this time, if you reason with her, you will lose.
Parenting knowledge is not equal, and parenting differences arise between different members
The drama "Dear Child" initially reflects a more typical parenting disagreement, whether to feed the newborn child milk powder.
Fang Yinuo did not listen to the advice of mixed feeding of the sister-in-law, determined that exclusive breastfeeding was better, and resolutely did not feed the child milk powder.
When the child was hospitalized with jaundice worsened, the hospital concluded that Fang Yinuo's child had breast-milk jaundice.
But Fang Yinuo could not accept such a statement, and she and Yue Sister-in-law were also estranged.
In this matter, it is difficult to say who is wrong, Fang Yinuo, as a mother, has nothing to blame for the position of considering the child, and in the matter of parenting, no one can guarantee that everything will be foolproof.
Even if you spend a lot of effort on the learning of parenting knowledge, you can't guarantee that you will always make the right choices in your baby
What's more, due to the unequal information received by everyone, it is particularly prone to disagreements in parenting views.
On the long road of parenting, all kinds of parenting differences will continue to emerge, related to the child's feeding, education, safety...
Because the information received is different, it is difficult to convince each other, which is also the reason why many families quarrel continuously.
As a parent, you should be more rational about a variety of different voices, when your parenting style is questioned, you need to calm down, carefully understand the specific situation of the child, and consult the opinions of professionals if necessary.
New parents have different mentalities, and the couple cannot empathize
In fact, there is a difference between the love of father and mother for their children.
The mother, who was pregnant in October, has long regarded the child as a part of her body, so she cherishes it especially. Fathers, on the other hand, prefer to see their children as an independent individual.
Therefore, the mentality of father and mother in the face of children is not the same. Dad was more likely to relax, while Mom was always overly nervous.
Take Xiao Lu and Fang Yinuo.
Daughter Hehe jaundice value is high was left in the hospital, Xiao Lu for the daughter to do the hospitalization procedures, the daughter was also arranged to take some of the child's change of clothes, diapers when the newborn went home, Fang Yinuo saw that the child did not come back instantly became very anxious, extremely uneasy. Xiao Lu comforted him, but was asked why he left his daughter alone in the hospital.
Most of the parents in daily life are also like this, the father is more concerned about the results, the child is not comfortable as long as the medical treatment is good on time, do not have to be too nervous.
And the mother pays more attention to the process, and can't help but be anxious when she sees the child uncomfortable.
In contrast to strong emotions, the husband feels that the wife is making a big fuss, and the wife feels that the husband does not care.
Without empathy, any exchange can turn into a farce.
But can not empathy, does not mean that the result must go to quarrel and confrontation, the so-called husband and wife, the most important thing is to tolerate each other, mutual understanding, especially in the year when the baby was just born, the two people are comrades-in-arms, what needs to be done is to face the changes and challenges brought by the child to the family, rather than accusing each other and attacking each other.
It is said that motherhood is a woman's nature, but no one is born to be a mother, and there are still many things on the road to parenting that young mothers need to slowly learn and explore.
In fact, seemingly petite children are far stronger than we think, and there is no need to keep tight nerves at all times. Only by working hard to adjust yourself, truly relaxing, and no longer doing unnecessary anxiety, can you enjoy a happy parent-child time.