As a new mom, in this horror documentary-like TV series, I seem to see my own life. "Dear Child" is the most complicated in the drama I have chased, the early "selling anxiety", the middle "repression", and the "heart to the light" at the end.
This drama faces the truth of life, the texture that comes from the face, and the immersive performance of the actors, so that we can appreciate the suffering in life in advance, as well as deeply think about our own lives and where to go when we encounter problems. In the face of problems and difficulties, what we lack is the courage to face suffering and corruption.
Yet reality is far more anxious than that.
When I was not married, I felt that a son and a daughter were standard. I even thought about the names of my children, and even thought about how to educate them in the future, how to give them a good life, and how to dress them up.
When I graduated from college, considering that women of childbearing age would be discriminated against when looking for a job, they all thought about giving birth to children during graduate school, and then graduating without delaying in finding a job.
What a simple idea at that time! I thought that giving birth to a child was only a few months of suffering during pregnancy, thinking that I was disgusted and vomited a few times like the heroine in the TV series, and then unconsciously the child came out, and then I was liberated. After a family of three living happily together.
However, after seeing my classmates and friends around me, I felt really Too young, too simple.
Hard work during pregnancy, not only vomiting and nausea, but also bad mood, there will be no appetite, what will eat and vomit, will always run the toilet, will worry about obstetric examination. A friend of mine vomited throughout her pregnancy, and what to eat and vomit was all dependent on the hospital to give birth to a child. There is also a placenta anterior, lying in bed for half a year, the whole person is fat and puffy, and it is unbearable to see.
When giving birth, it is possible to suffer from dystocia, will be lateral cut, will encounter urinary incontinence, and will be painful for more than ten hours. He even had the misfortune of getting an amniotic fluid embolism and died as a result.
A friend cried to me: "I don't understand, obviously the day before he was born, I was still a good person, an ordinary person, a normal person." A person with normal stress tolerance. Why, why, from the moment he was born, all men had to throw all their responsibilities, their problems, to me. ”
After giving birth, sleep deprivation, freedom deprivation, social clearance, leisure clearance, time is all shredded. Will worry about whether the child will be healthy, will not enter the ICU, open milk to swell milk, wound pain, can not sleep all day and all night, out of shape, hair loss, and even leakage of urine. Coupled with the fact that the family may be a little unhappy, depression also comes out.
A friend who was a stay-at-home mom said to me, "I've struggled with self-denial and self-identification for countless nights, it's not a good day, and it's the beginning of your loneliness when you really start to have a baby full-time." ”
During the child's growth, worry about getting sick, worry about going to school later, whether it will be food safety problems, whether it will be abused by school teachers, and bullied by classmates. After the girlfriend child went to elementary school, she was tortured by homework every day because she found that the child was not very smart and helped with homework every day in the yelling. Later found that the child's mood is getting more and more abnormal, and now he is depressed and is currently suspended from school at home.
Wait, etc., this is still the most basic problem, children go to school need to learn the district room, extracurricular tutoring, tutoring homework, further pressure, children are still good, in case they follow others to learn badly, dare not think. When the child enters puberty, he will worry about whether the child will encounter scum in love, and whether he will be hurt because of love and hate.
When a mother-to-be says that even if the goods are unloaded, even if they are boiled out, in fact, it should be when the child is born, it is considered to be boiled in. For the birth of a child is not the end of pain, but the beginning of pain. So every moment of pregnancy is the happiest time for the rest of your life. Choosing to have a child, this is a one-way street, never turn back, no matter what the child is, there is no way to reverse.
So, I say that the biggest ordeal in life is actually raising children. I used to think it was a very simple thing, the more I learned, the more I was afraid, and now I even feel that "children are all scourges", no child can choose a big house away from the school district, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can be avoided, and I also have extra time and money to travel around the world.
On the other hand, the parents' generations have been around the children all their lives, living in the world for a short few decades, and even saying that they have not enjoyed life well, have been diligent and thrifty for a lifetime, have not been out of the house, have not eaten a lot of food, have been doing physical strength and have been overdrawn, and finally accumulated fatigue and illness with pain. And the child still goes the old way of the parents for the sake of the next generation, and so on.
Our generation is under a lot of pressure to make ends meet, working overtime, working hard to give birth to children, and then doing our best to provide them with a better life. Born to be human, is this our greatest value?