Author: Song Muduo
Source: Parenting MiaoMiao Sister (ID: yermmj)
The American humor guru Mark Twain once said:
"A sincere compliment can keep me alive for two more months."
Whoever it is, they like to hear praise and do not like to be criticized.
Being praised by others is always in a happy mood, and being criticized by others is inevitably discouraged.
For children, a word of praise can not only make children more confident, but also enhance their courage and strength in the face of setbacks and tribulations.
However, not all praise will have a positive effect.
Those general words of "you are so smart", "you are awesome", "you are so good" often make children become arrogant.
Because its subtext is that you are highly talented and you can do it without effort.
This makes it easy for children to form a fixed mindset, so as to give up their efforts, or when they encounter setbacks, they directly believe that they are not good enough.
For the growth of children, this kind of thinking is very unfavorable.
True praise should be able to make children form a growth mindset.
It is to enable children to attribute all successes and failures to mental strength such as effort, choice, and persistence, rather than to the level of intelligence and the quality of talent.
Only in this way can children "win without arrogance and defeat without discouragement."
In the face of success, do not be complacent, proud and arrogant, know how to continue to work hard and maintain struggle; in the face of failure and difficulties, you can rise head-on, do not give up, do not abandon.
As a parent, you must learn to praise your child correctly.
The following 12 praise methods, parents use it correctly, children will become more and more confident.
Praise the child's efforts
A child is at the top of the test and shows the transcript to his mother.
One kind of mom likes to say:
"Baby is so good, awesome, the test is too good!"
Another type of mom would say:
"The test is good, this is all the baby usually hard work, we must continue to refuel!"
The first kind of praise from the mother will often make the child feel that he has done a good job, so he will stop and only seek to maintain the existing achievements, rather than seeking a closer effort.
The second kind of praise for mothers, on the contrary, not only affirms the child's current achievements, but also allows the child to continue to work hard and strive for better results.
In contrast, the mother who praises the child's hard work is better.
Praise the perseverance of the child
When your child faces an esoteric chess game, challenge after challenge is exchanged for failure after failure;
When your child wants to try rock climbing, climbing high again and again is exchanged for falling down again and again;
At this time, your sentence "Come on, you will definitely do it" will often bring a lot of pressure to the child, causing them to give up helplessly.
On the contrary, when you replace "you must be able to do it" with "good performance, persistence is victory, continue to work hard", then the child will be more patient, persevering, and the success rate is higher.
Exaggerate the details of the child
It is said that the details determine success or failure, for parents, in daily life, we must learn to praise more details of children.
When he makes some kind of progress, grabbing a specific detail and praising him will not only make the child feel that you pay attention to him, but also let the child pay attention to the details himself.
For example, if a child has made progress in swimming, you can praise him:
"Baby, A lot of progress, you see your posture feels more standard, the ventilation frequency is also well mastered."
Exaggerate your child's creativity
Lenin said: "Illusion is an extremely precious quality. ”
For children, their imaginations are abundant and there are always all kinds of fantasies.
It is this kind of imagination and fantasy that makes children more creative, more thinking and enthusiasm for life and the world.
As parents, we should not discourage our children, but learn to encourage their children to act in the air.
Boast about their creativity, and the child will be better.
Exaggerate the child's attitude
As the saying goes, attitude is everything.
Whether it is at work, or in learning, or in life, a positive attitude will often make people do things more seriously and have a greater chance of success.
As a parent, you must know how to praise your child's attitude.
For example, today when the child finishes his homework and takes the initiative to start preparing for tomorrow's homework, then you must affirm his active and serious attitude towards learning.
Exaggerate the child's spirit of cooperation
Man is a social animal, and no one can be an island.
A person who knows how to work in a team will often be better in the future.
As a parent, you must know how to guide and encourage your child's communication skills and unity and cooperation skills.
When the child achieves certain results with the cooperation of the group, parents should remember to praise him and tell him:
"A few of you have cooperated very well, and in the future, we must unite and cooperate with our classmates and continue to cheer!"
Praise your child's leadership skills
Why praise your child's leadership skills?
Because this can not only increase the child's self-confidence, but also cultivate the child's sense of responsibility.
As a parent, one thing your child is responsible for is successfully accomplished with the cooperation of other classmates.
At this time, in addition to praising their cooperative spirit, we must also remember to praise the child's leadership ability.
Praise the courage of the child
Courage is a very important quality, not only representing the spirit of progress, but also enabling people to better face setbacks.
For parents, we must praise their children's courage.
When the child learns to ride a bicycle, remember to praise him for being brave;
When the child learns to swim without swimming circles, remember to praise him for his bravery.
Only in the continuous accumulation can children become more and more confident and more and more adventurous.
Only in the face of setbacks and difficulties will we have our own courage and capital.
Praise the child's attentiveness
When you are ready to go out and take your child to the park to play, he takes the initiative to bring an umbrella;
When you are sick and cold today, the child took the initiative to buy you medicine;
As a parent, you must praise your child's care.
Attentive children, thinking about the problem will be thorough, which is a very valuable quality.
Praise your child's credit
Lu Xun said that honesty is the foundation of man.
As a parent, we must cultivate our children's good personal credit, only in this way will he become honest and reliable in the future.
When your child wants to make an appointment with you, remember to tell him:
"I believe you can do it because you always mean what you say."
Exaggerate the modesty of the child
Chairman Mao once said:
"Pride makes people backward, and humility makes people progress."
A person must learn to learn from others with an open mind.
Only in this way can we learn from the good advantages and experiences of others and let ourselves grow.
In addition, an open-minded person will be more comfortable in the face of failure.
As parents, when children do well, we must teach children to be humble and then continue to work hard.
When children do not do well, we must let children be humble, learn to summarize lessons, and ask others for advice.
When the child has achieved humility, remember to praise his humility.
Boast about your child's choices
Choices are important, whether it's studying or living, or making friends.
How to make a choice is a very critical thing.
When a child makes the right choice, we remember to praise the child a lot.
Dear parents, when you want to praise your child, think more about the 12 ways I said.
Remember, the key to cultivating a child's growth mindset lies in how you praise your child.
Click "Watching" and encourage all parents.
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