Author | Morning Mom
Source | Handbook for Moms (ID:jqfans)
Morning Mom found out.
Every time as long as you finish writing an article that can't be "violent" or "yelling" at children, there will always be a bunch of comments at the bottom:
If a child makes a mistake, should he be punished?
The answer is: Absolutely.
Punishing children is a necessary means of education, but we cannot use simple and rough methods, but we must use roundabout tactics to punish children scientifically.
Let children realize their mistakes at the same time, but also be able to remember for a long time, and grow and harvest from them.
This morning, my mother taught everyone 7 scientific ways to punish their children, helping parents to establish rules without hurting their children.
Everyone must seriously collect oh ~~ today
There must be parents who want to ask: What is the punishment of persuasion?
But in fact, for children, it is also a difficult lesson for parents to point out mistakes in person, and admit their mistakes and correct them.
Because the child's concept of right and wrong is not complete, it is difficult to distinguish between right and wrong for many behaviors.
Someone else took my toy, so I hit him;
I didn't like this kid, so I pushed him;
Dad didn't buy me snacks today, so I dropped things...
When the child makes a mistake, the parent must first put down the work at hand, patiently ask the child the reason for the dispute and quarrel, and listen to the child's thoughts.
For the first mistake, be sure to instill the concept of incorrect behavior in time, and ask the child to learn to say "please, thank you, sorry" .
During the critical period of shaping children's good behavior habits at the age of 3-6, parents must not ignore the importance of wrong behavior because their children are young.
Allowing children to learn to face their mistakes and correct them is the first step as punishment.
Morning Mom reminds
Parents should not yell or threaten their children with loud voices, and should not loudly reprimand their children when there are many people.
At the same time as education, we must avoid hurting children's self-esteem.
What should I do if my child quarrels or fights with other children?
Once on a foreign parenting variety show, there was such a witty scene.
Dad took out a deck of cards and played with the three children, but the two children fought for one of them.
In the face of the children's fight, the father did not scold, but let the two children each carry a chair and think about the wall.
And tell the child that the time for sitting is 5 minutes, and when the time comes, the father will come to communicate with them.
This method can effectively make children realize that they have made mistakes.
And during the time of sitting, ease your emotions, stop getting angry or crying, and begin to initially reflect on your problems.
This has played a very effective role in paving the way for parents' speech education after the punishment is over.
Penalty sitting is not only applicable to children fighting and quarreling, but also applicable to children who are out of control and crying.
Morning Mom reminds
Parents should set up a seated position in a relatively quiet and uninhabited place, such as a study, a wall, or a balcony.
Then set up a clock next to the child and time the penalty time. This will be more effective
For those children who procrastinate, have poor self-discipline, and cannot control themselves, parents need to use a clever punishment method to cultivate children's patience while punishing.
Morning Mom wants to solemnly introduce one to everyone - the "Pai Bean Punishment Law".
There are many ways to row beans:
● Prepare various colors of beans, mix in a bowl, let the children pick out one by one, sort into different bowls;
● Prepare a rope, and various colored beads with holes, so that children can string them on the rope in the order of color;
● Prepare white paper, glue, and colored beans, let the child use the beans, and glue out specific patterns such as circles, squares, and triangles on the paper.
Row beans have a good exercise and calming effect for children with insufficient patience and emotional instability.
It can also exercise the child's hand-eye coordination ability and distinguishing ability very well.
Morning Mom reminds
Parents can set the amount of tasks according to their children's age and ability.
Neither can the child feel too simple and easy, nor can it be far beyond the child's ability range.
Most children will have the habit of scribbling, throwing things around, and not liking to pack their toy books.
There is an 8-year-old boy in Yangzhou, Jiangsu Province, who paints the ground and poles everywhere with powder wall paint.
After the mother saw her son's "masterpiece", she immediately exploded, but the child did not think so, and did not realize the seriousness at all.
It wasn't until the city management came to them the next day and ordered them to clean up within 2 days that the child discovered the error.
Watching the scene of the little boy holding a brush to clean the ground, Chen Ma believed that he would never make the same mistake again in the future.
In fact, children like him abound.
Eating was sprinkled on the floor and paint was messed up. No matter how many times the parents stop it, the child is unmoved, does not feel that there is anything wrong with him, and even finds it funny.
Doing housework can not only make up for their mistakes and clean up their own mess, but also let children understand the difficulty of cleaning, know how to consciously maintain hygiene, and develop good habits of cleanliness.
Morning Mom reminds
For young children, parents can lead their children to do housework together and teach children the methods and techniques of doing housework.
Usually, you must also know how to cultivate the good habit of returning children to their original places, and clean up their living area in time.
There are two old sayings on the mainland, called "filial piety comes out under the stick" and "no fight can not be a tool".
Looking back at those traditional educational methods, almost all of them are inseparable from the word "fighting".
But we always say that parents can't be violent, can't easily beat and scold children, so can they beat them in the end?
Professor Li Meijin said:
"Don't be reasonable with your child, you should fight when you should fight, and punishment is also very important."
Therefore, beating children is a desirable means of education, but it must be divided into things, methods, parts, and strength.
Neither can you hit too lightly, so that the child does not have a long memory; nor can you hit too hard, so that the child is hurt.
We can use newspapers and paper to make paper sticks and punish children small and admonish.
Parents can work with their children to make a paper stick and name it "warning stick".
Parents then inform the child of the reason for making the warning stick, so that the child understands under what circumstances the parents will use the stick as punishment.
For older children, you can also use small wooden sticks and small rulers, also as "warning sticks", placed in a fixed position as a warning.
Morning Mom reminds
Warning sticks can only be used to hit the palm of the child's hand, do not hit other parts of the child, to avoid accidentally injuring the child.
There is such a fragment in the "Crime Hunting Atlas".
Through the painting of the girl Xiao'an, the portraitist Shen Yi saw the child's anxiety, depression and unhappiness.
In fact, what is used here is the knowledge of "psychoanalysis of children's painting" that we often hear.
You know, children's paintings, whether it is lines, colors, or compositions, can actually reflect the inner world and emotions very well.
Children can also express their emotions and express their ideas through painting.
This is an effective way for parents to communicate with their children.
After the child makes a mistake, the parents can prepare a picture book and a paintbrush to let the child quietly draw the thoughts in his heart.
After the painting, tell your parents about the content and meaning of the picture.
This method is more effective than asking the child bluntly and intuitively.
For children who are unreasonable and littered, confiscation and punishment may be the most effective method.
Parents can confiscate items discarded by their children, or items that are extremely beloved, as punishment.
If the child throws it away and does not know how to cherish, the child can understand the meaning of cherishing and correct the habit of throwing things through loss.
If it is a child, you are unreasonable and your emotions are out of control, you can confiscate it for a short time to calm the child's mood and obtain a calm communication opportunity with the parents.
These methods summarized by the morning mother, parents can make reasonable arrangements for different error situations of their children.
But don't grab a punishment and use it multiple times.
Because the educational effect of punishment will gradually decrease with the increase of the number of times.
Too much punishment not only fails to achieve the purpose of educating children, but also causes children to feel bored, dissatisfied and even resistant.
We need to implement it in a timely and measured manner to see results.
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May every child be able to harvest growth in the failure of repeated falls.
*Source: Mom Handbook (ID: jqfans). Pay attention to the mom handbook, exchange parenting experience with millions of moms here, and a large number of original boutique parent-child comics to teach you happy parenting! Some of the pictures in this article are from The Figureworm Idea.
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