Let's start with a conclusion, that is, no matter how mature a man seems, he will become more naïve after entering a relationship.
Because love can break the psychological boundaries of two people, so that both sides have a certain degree of regression, unconsciously return to the role of the baby, the other party as their own opposite sex parents to rely on, and then through this role instead, to compensate for some of their early childhood deficiencies.
So a good relationship can actually heal a person and make two missing souls more complete. Of course, this kind of childishness does not always accompany us, just like the child will eventually grow up, and the two people will surely grow up in love and gain a new mature personality.
It's just a pity that some boys are unwilling to grow up after they retire, and after they enjoy the pleasure of being accepted, they are not willing to continue to be independent, and once this time, if girls awaken from the retreat, the two people are bound to have various contradictions and problems.
This is also the reason why most girls, especially those after the age of 27, usually have cognitive breakups, because men can't keep up with them. I said that love is two equal personalities who respect each other and grow up together, if you want her to keep coaxing you like a child, do you think this is possible?
So in love, a man can show childish behavior, but can not be immature, then in general, in love, an immature person, what is he?
The habit of calling immature people "life does not understand", that is, he does not know what he wants, nor does he know what he does not want, and when he encounters problems, he tends to attribute his misfortune to the original family and bad luck, in short, he does not look for problems in himself, but blindly blames the outside world.
So this manifestation of immaturity is often accompanied by two very deadly states, confusion and emotion, and one of the most notable characteristics of these two states is the inability to take care of others.
Don't believe you think about it, when you are struggling with graduate school or employment, or encountering difficulties in your work, you are eager for someone to help you, you look back, but find that the person around you is more anxious and confused than you, he has not even found a satisfactory job, he is in a state of negative energy, then how can he give you advice? How can I give you the energy to support you?
So an immature person, first of all, he does not have enough practical ability to help you solve the problem, and secondly, he does not have a strong enough psychology to calm your emotions.
I said that true love should be a process of "de-self-centeredness", because when true love occurs, we will break the genetic self-interest and take the initiative to consider each other's interests, and this process is the process of changing from "me" to "us".
And an immature man, when he is in love, will be accustomed to self-centeredness and cannot see the needs of his partner. That is, when you need comfort, he feels that you are arrogant, when you need his encouragement, he feels that there is no need at all, and even when you need help, he will stand on the moral high ground to educate you, in short, all your needs are childish in his view, and only his needs are worthy of being met, and once you are not satisfied, he will begin to suppress you and deny you.
You may tolerate him at first, but over time, this repressive relationship will damage your self-worth, even if you finally realize the problem, but it has caused you irreversible harm.
What does that mean? It is that they are always past today, cannot see tomorrow, have no clear understanding of their own abilities, and have no plans for the future.
For example, if you ask him what you will do in the future, when you will get married, when you will have children, where you will settle down in the future, etc., he will always answer you, "I think it is good to be like this now."
To tell the truth, a girl will be disappointed to hear this answer, you try to become better, want to live a good life with him, but he said that it is good to do the moment, you want to talk to him about feelings, but he does not realize the seriousness of the problem, but also feels that you are too much, so that you will inevitably wonder if this relationship can have a result?
People's hearts are all flesh, no one can be completely free, materially can not see the direction of getting better, emotionally can not see the ultimate destination, will bring about the lack of security.
So got it? Fall in love with an immature man, and the relationship is doomed to not last.
Psychological test: Test the sentence your ex most wants to say to you
1. Do you argue over small things when you're together?
Yes, I often feel tired —2
Rarely quarrel over small things—2
Occasionally, but soon reconciled —3
2. Do you think you are a person who likes to self-reflect and is willing to correct mistakes?
Yes —3
Not —4
3. Will he or she take the initiative to tell you his troubles?
It is often said that -5
Not much to say —4
4. Would you tell your parents about the process of your relationship?
Everything is too big or small, and I often complain to my parents -6
Occasionally they ask and say —5
Hardly to say, nothing to say —5
5. Faced with what you want, how much energy are you willing to put into acquiring it?
Everything follows fate, and it is mine in the end--7
Try hard, maybe you can succeed - 6
Do my best, I want to get --B
6. Did you break up because of a third party?
Yes—A
No —7
7. Did the other party take the initiative to contact you after the breakup?
Yes—D
No—C