Gibran has a very classic quote: "Your children, in fact, are not your children... What you can give them is your love, but not your thoughts, because they have their own thoughts..."
Every time I read it, I was touched, and I think Gibran's interpretation of children is the most appropriate. Instead of our traditional concept of "children are the flesh that fell from my body"!
Although it is true to say so, it is precisely because of this concept that there is such a tragic story as "Nezha cut the bones to return the father, and cut the flesh to return the mother". So I agree more with Gibran's interpretation of children.
And many children grow up because of the phrase "I am your mother, all for your own good", they are deprived of a lot of "rights". It has created a hundred states that lack self-care ability, college students can't even wear clothes, and they can't think of setbacks.
Therefore, the love of some parents is blind, and this blind love may become the biggest trap on the road to children's growth. Li Meijin, a professor of criminal psychology, has stressed more than once that parents should appropriately let go and give their children rights.
In particular, if a child has these 2 "rights" from an early age, he is often more excellent when he grows up! May I ask, have you ever given it?
I. The "Right" to Suffer Hardship
Professor Li Meijin said in her speech that many parents now have more hardships because they suffered more when they were young, and they wanted to never let their children suffer, and it is best for children to have a golden key as soon as they open their eyes!
This sentence is in my heart, I have not dared to have children before because I feel that my conditions are not good and I cannot give my children a better life.
But Professor Li Meijin said that this kind of child who has not suffered since childhood is likely to be very selfish and eventually become a loser. Not only that, but children who lack hardship experience are weaker in willpower and have poor resistance to setbacks!
Professor Li Meijin shared the story of a father riding with his son in a lecture, each ride for more than 20 days, which is a hard trip! He began to insist in junior high school, and now that he is in high school, his eyes reveal the confidence that surpasses his peers.
Professor Li Meijin explained that the reason for this phenomenon is because the child feels in his heart that I have eaten this kind of suffering, and I am not afraid of anything! Such a child with strong willpower, not afraid of setbacks, self-confidence and gratitude, how can the future not be excellent!
Professor Li Meijin stressed that it is difficult for modern urban life to create conditions for children to endure hardships! Through some physical training, children can achieve the purpose of suffering.
For example, let children learn to swim, long-distance running and other sports, can exercise children's willpower! In addition, Professor Li Meijin also stressed that 3-6 years old is a key period for children's personality formation.
If you want to cultivate excellent children, you must start from the aspects of preventing selfishness, restraining willfulness, preventing repression, learning to be patient, and experiencing setbacks.
The "right" to play independently
Many parents may be very confused about this "right", which requires parents to play with their children more, why do they still require their children to play independently?
Professor Li Meijin said more than once in the lecture that "children's academic performance is good or bad, it has nothing to do with intelligence, the key lies in concentration". Starting from the child's two-year-old, giving the child the "right" to play for an hour every day helps to develop concentration.
Imagine how many of our parents can actually get their children out of sight for an hour? The child sets the blocks there, the mother lets the child drink water, and the grandmother feeds the fruit, which causes the child to be in a disturbed state for a long time and it is difficult to concentrate.
And many children go to school, poor learning, can not sit on the bench, can not see the blackboard, are related to poor concentration! Italian educator Montessori also said: "Unless the child takes the initiative to invite, never disturb the child"!
Professor Li Meijin stressed that attention is more important than intelligence! Attention is the basis for learning all knowledge and skills, if the door of attention is not opened, the child makes up more lessons, and the knowledge will not be remembered in the brain.
Pu Songling once said: "Sexual infatuation, then its condensation; therefore, the book obsessed must work, and the art obsessed must be skilled." ”
Therefore, parents please give their children the "right" to play independently, you are actually accumulating a huge wealth for your children!
In terms of cultivating children's concentration, Li Meijin once said that in addition to giving children 1 hour of independent play time every day, after children go to primary school, especially in the first and second grades, it is best to have only books, pencils and books on the desk when writing homework.
Don't have anything superfluous! At the same time, set a time for the child, such as 15 minutes to complete the language, if you can complete it on time, you can get rewards, which is a way to exercise the child's concentration.
In addition to these methods proposed by Professor Li Meijin, concentration training can also be carried out for children before the age of 9, such as Germans who are known for their rigorous concentration, which is actually practiced in kindergartens.
They don't take culture classes in kindergarten, and they prepare children with a few pieces of paper in class with a lot of focus-enhancing game questions. In the process of playing, the child trains concentration.
Every parent and child wants to get excellent results, but there is always a gap between anyone, what to do?
In response to the needs of the majority of parents, we recommend this set of "Teacher Li Yongle To Children about Physics" as soon as it was launched, it has been affirmed and loved by many parents and children, and this set of books can give full play to the personal characteristics of his lectures.
After entering the work of renmin university attached middle school, Li Yongle dutifully fulfilled his duties and regarded being a good teacher as his dream, and the lessons he taught were not only interesting, but also very grounded.
Like what:
"I didn't have an umbrella on a rainy day, how much rain did I get on my way home or did I run home to get rainy?"
"What exactly is the principle of Bitcoin and blockchain, and what exactly is mining?"
"Why does a vacuum cleaner suck up dust?"
"How are rockets made? How can you get it launched? ”
…………
Most teachers only tell you how to solve problems, but he is teaching you to solve life's problems with knowledge.
In his teaching career for more than ten years, Mr. Li insisted on preparing for classes for 3-4 hours every day, personally sent more than 200 students to Tsinghua Peking University, and also brought out more than ten international and domestic Olympiad gold medalists.
Once he went to play in the mountains, he came into contact with students in the mountains, and the teachers were limited, so he remembered the video of mass communication, so he made the content of his lectures into a small video and uploaded it to the Internet. He built a bridge of physics learning with children in remote areas in a cheap way.
In 2017, Li Yongle sent a video of "what is the leap year", but he did not expect that the number of hits exceeded 10 million in one day, and the next day it became 20 million, and Li Yongle was completely red.
In order to help more children learn physics well, Teacher Li Yongle and his team spent three years and carefully compiled the series of books "Teacher Li Yongle Teaches Physics to Children".
This set of books has 10 major themes: "Optics", "Mechanics", "Electromagnetism", "Heat", "Fluid Mechanics", "Quantum Mechanics", "Vibration and Waves", "Atomic Structure and Atomic Nucleus", "Relativity", "History of Optics". They all start from the children's side events, which can stimulate children's strong curiosity.
Now under the "double reduction", the trend of education pays more attention to children's self-learning ability, love children must be long-term, it is not easy to encounter a good book, it is an investment in children's learning.