Maybe you will say that the child is his own child, I provide him with food and clothing, love him and educate him, where there is no bottom line. Such an idea is absolutely wrong.
Each child is an individual.
Regardless of the age of the child, he or she should be treated as an independent person. So don't have children who are not appendages of their parents, they will form an independent personality and have their own bottom line.
The Lebanese poet Gibran wrote a little poem like this: Your children are not your children / They are children of the fire of life / They came to earth through you / But they are not your incarnation / They live with you all day / but they do not belong to you. (Excerpt from the poem "Your Children", Lebanese 19th-century writer Gibran)
Image source: @Visual China
The child will eventually grow up, leaving the parents to face the world alone, so from now on, respect the child well, do not touch the child's bottom line, especially these three things.
1. Spy on your child's secrets, stop
When the child grows up, especially in adolescence, has an independent space, he may have his own mobile phone, and usually write a diary to record his mood. As a parent, don't take advantage of the fact that the child is not paying attention to looking through the child's things, such as peeking at the child's diary, flipping through the child's mobile phone...
These practices only make children resentful, and even noisy or excessive, for the simple reason that they are not respected enough!
The way to get to know a child is not to get it by snooping on secrets.
Parents can take the initiative to communicate with their children and make themselves friends that their children can trust. In this way, when necessary, the child will take the initiative to tell his parents his secrets. In the face of your child's troubles, don't hit or criticize, and work with your child to find a way.
Of course, if the child does not want to tell his parents about this, do not force him, this is his privacy. If you are really worried, you can talk to the child and ask the teachers and classmates whether the child has abnormal performance and exclude some extreme ideas.
2, regardless of the occasion to scold the child, stop
Even if the child is small, he can perceive the eyes and emotions of those around him. Scolding the child directly in front of relatives and friends will feel very humiliated. If it is in school, being scolded by parents in front of teachers and classmates, it is even more difficult for children to look up in front of their classmates.
Educate the child to reason with him can be carried out afterwards, respect the child, then do not scold in public, what can not go home to say it!
3. Publicize the child's troubles, stop
Until I became my own mother, my mother would still be happy to talk to my relatives and friends about all kinds of troubles when I was a child. So now every time I go to a party with a few mothers and talk about the child, even if the child is not nearby, I don't talk about his embarrassment, let alone say it if I am next to it. Children also want good face, always talk about trouble, children are either ashamed and embarrassed, or they will turn their faces and lose their temper with you. Respect him is to consider his feelings.
Have you ever done these 3 things? Introspect!
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