We often see many children in news reports or daily life who are impatient, fiery and impatient. Not to mention that some children can't sit in the classroom for a long time after going to school, resulting in the inability to complete their studies.
Therefore, experts suggest that at the age of three or four, children can cultivate patience through delayed gratification and deliberate practice.
Let's take an example of buying a toy.
Before looking down, please think about what it is like when you buy toys for your children.
In fact, before the age of three, it should be that parents should "buy" toys for their children, and the toys bought back are actually given to children to play.
But after reaching the age when it is time to cultivate children's patience, such as when they are around the age of four, we parents cannot easily buy toys for our children, but should take our children to buy toys together.
Before, parents gave you the selected toys to play, now why should we take our children with us? What should you do with your child to choose a toy?
Of course, when it comes to the place to buy toys, everyone should also have experience, and the child must be dazzled and attracted by a variety of toys.
Then, we parents should choose toys with the right price, usually according to the price of about half of the daily expenses of the family that the child can understand, and most of the range should be concentrated in about a few tens of yuan to two hundred yuan.
After the selection is completed, we need to observe with the child how the toys we have selected are played, and what organs need to be paid attention to, we need to ask the salesman or waiter to come over.
The main reason for inviting them here is that although we already know the price of this toy, what is said through a third party is more impressive to the child.
After the salesman or waiter comes over, ask the other party to dictate the price of the toy again.
The next step is our practice of delaying gratification. We can say to the child: (if the price of the toy is 150 yuan)
"Baby, Mom/Dad originally planned to buy a toy for dozens of dollars, but the price of this toy is much higher than we expected." (The child may think that he does not buy it, and may feedback some emotions)
(At this time, we should introduce the source of family funds to the children)
"Mom/Dad goes to work every day to earn money, we only pay once on a 30-day shift, and the salary issued at one time is only 5,000 yuan (adjusted according to the actual situation), and in the 30 days when the family has not opened wages, every day to eat, turn on the lights, burn gas, and pay childcare fees, we also have to..., so this time the signing of the toy exceeds the advance, originally planned to buy 20 yuan or 50 yuan to buy toys, but now it is not enough, what to do?"
(At this time, the child may understand, that is, do not buy it for him, so the emotions will be more excited)
(Next, here's how to delay gratification.)
"Now there is such a method, this week, mom strives for overtime, let dad also add a shift, we add a shift, 50 yuan, plus two shifts, 100 yuan, plus three shifts should be enough." But this toy won't be available until next week. “
(This is called delayed gratification, that is, to set a goal for the child first, not to say no to buy, but not to buy immediately.) Stay for a week. ）
Then, in front of the child, we need to say to the salesman, "Please put this toy away, we will come to buy it next week!" “
In this week, we want to let the child know the hard work of the mother/father overtime, let the child beat his back, arrange the child to help the parents take the slippers, help the parents sweep the floor and so on, in short, we must let the children give feedback on the hardships of the parents.
There is another method of deliberate practice, which is also recommended for us parents to master.
For example, for a week, the child is required to complete a painting every day, or to practice words every day.
Every time you draw or write, it is recommended that parents should rate their children and must achieve a certain score to complete the task.
What is the ultimate goal of these tasks? It is to train children to be able to calm down within a certain period of time to complete a thing.
At the beginning, we can ask the child to sit for five minutes, and then slowly increase the difficulty of time to ten minutes, fifteen minutes, and then to forty minutes when you are about five or six years old.
When the child goes to school, he can sit in the classroom for a full class.
Without similar deliberate training, it is difficult for children to sit still.
I have interviewed teachers before, what kind of students do you think is the most difficult to teach? The highly respected teacher replied that children who could not sit still were the most difficult to teach.
If the child has not yet gone to school, but is only in kindergarten, how should they train?
The method is also relatively simple, we can set a corresponding goal or put forward a requirement on each of the satisfaction items given to the child, of course, this requirement needs to be able to be done by the child, so that the satisfaction obtained by the child through hard work will naturally be more cherished, and it can also lay a good foundation for cultivating the child's patience.
(Image from the Internet)