Relatives have a child, the parents are very spoiled, it is simply the kind of star not to give the moon, the New Year to find that the child is eating snacks all day, not much to eat. I said that eating snacks like this is not good for children, and you have to control it.
Relatives laughed bitterly and said that they would lie on the ground and cry without snacking, there was no way but to let her eat.
It seems that the relatives and the family have been completely controlled by the cries of the children.
Now there are fewer children, coupled with good economic conditions, children are also more spoiled, but no matter how much pet, the rules of the teaching, or let the children learn, such as self-discipline.
Self-disciplined children can not only develop good habits, but also parents are not so tired to bring up.
So what do you have to do to raise a self-disciplined child?
Delay gratification and let the child develop a sense of self-discipline
No one is born with self-discipline, and the essence of self-discipline is the formation of good habits. The first step in cultivating children's self-discipline is to let them first form a sense of self-discipline.
Someone did an experiment on "delayed gratification." The researchers gave a group of children a marshmallow each and told them they could eat it right now, but if they waited a few minutes to eat it, they could get an extra marshmallow.
Most of the children quickly ate the marshmallows in their hands. Some children, although they want to eat, try their best to refrain from it, and insist on the moment when they can get a reward.
By following the subjects for several years, the researchers found that children who were willing to delay gratification generally achieved more than those who were not good at self-control.
It can be seen that delayed gratification is an effective means to cultivate children's self-discipline awareness.
Fan Deng also shared a case. Once, his son cried because he could not drink milk immediately, and he felt that the child was not good at controlling emotions and needed timely guidance.
So Fan Deng asked his son: Do you know what patience is? The son replied that he did not know. He told his son that patience means that although he wants to drink milk, when the milk does not come, he can also control his emotions and do not cry.
The second time I waited for the milk, my son cried again. Fan Deng did not immediately hand his son milk, but asked him, remember what patience is, can you try to be patient? The son thought for a moment and then stopped crying.
Here, Fan Deng is using the "delayed gratification" method to let children form the most basic sense of self-discipline.
Actively guide and help children dig out their inner motivations
There is a saying in "Self-Driving Growth": "All parents want their children to succeed, but only the child's autonomy can make this desire possible."
To make children self-disciplined, it is necessary to help children explore and understand their own intrinsic motivations and encourage them to continue to do what they like.
Every child has their own place of love and focus, and we need to pay attention to observation and attention in our daily lives to see when they are most focused and most motivated. Then start from here and dig out the intrinsic motivation behind it.
Suppose, every time your child plays soccer, he is in a good mood and follows the rules.
At this time, you can ask the child: Baby, why do you like to play football? How do you think your football self is different from other times? What else will make you feel as happy as you would when you play football?
These positive guides will help children identify the intrinsic motivation behind their actions and clarify where their sense of accomplishment comes from.
As children continue to try and experience more things that make them happy and fulfilling, their self-esteem levels will increase dramatically, making them more disciplined.
Lead by example and set an example for your child to learn from
In "Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychiatrist", it is said that "parents will inevitably pass on their ideas and behaviors to their offspring, just like genetic inheritance".
To raise a self-disciplined child, parents must first achieve self-discipline. If you stare at the phone and play games, you are bitterly advising your child not to play mobile phones. The child will say, you can do it, why can't I.
Conversely, parents who are good at self-management are more likely to raise self-disciplined children. Meyer Musk, the author of "Life by Me", once talked about the influence of his mother on himself in the book.
Meyer said that after her father's death, she was worried about her mother's living conditions. In fact, she was completely overconsidered. My mother not only enrolled in a variety of art courses, but also planned time to travel to various places and live a colorful life.
It is precisely because her mother's ideas and behaviors have deeply affected Meyer that she can actively plan and calmly cope with any difficult situation.
In fact, it is not difficult to raise a self-disciplined child. Give your child love and respect, and strive to live yourself as a role model and benchmark in your child's heart, and it is difficult for your child to be excellent.