Hello everyone, I'm Gao Yuan. When the Spring Festival just passed, everyone said that the New Year was new, but after 2 weeks of work, the New Year was already the same as the old year.
First of all, let me ask you a question: Do you think 2022 will be different from previous years?
Many people may say something different, and many people may feel similar to the past.
I want you to be aware of the fact that the moment you are experiencing is different from other moments, and the 2022 you are spending is also different from other years.
We usually create some sense of ritual, what is a sense of ritual? It's about making this moment different from the past.
When you are different, you will be more immersed in the present moment and cherish the present moment more.
I hope you also need to think about it: how is this year different from previous years? Objectively, subjectively, how do you think it might be different?
With this question in mind, let me break down how to live a wonderful bloom in 2022.
Author 丨 Gao Yuan
Edited by 丨 Mei Ling
Image from Diamond Enneagram
Success and happiness
First of all, let's look at the first 2 words, which represent the two most important parts of us, one is success and the other is happiness.
Success represents the material foundation of man. How high is your ceiling? How big is your reach? How widespread is your influence? Success is the day to be able to reach a lot of people.
What is happiness? Happiness can carry you. Can you feel the excitement outside and at the same time have a kind of peace in your heart? When you encounter pain, anger, conflict, trouble, can you live with yourself? Can you have a good relationship when you're with other people?
No matter how high you fly, you will always fly back to your harbor and have the habitat of your soul. Happiness is the ground that can carry your emotions.
What is the relationship between success and happiness?
It is the relationship between heaven and earth.
No days, no success, then happiness is repressed.
Without land, without happiness, then success is floating.
Success can promote happiness, but if success consumes too many resources, such as relationships, emotions, health, inner peace... If these very important things are ignored, suppressed, and destroyed when they are trying to run, they feel unhappy.
Many people want to pursue success, because the workplace pressure is too great, because the internal competition is too fierce, they take all the energy of the family, but ignore their hearts, life, happiness.
Many people think of happiness as a goal: what I achieve, I am happy.
It's an illusion, because success sometimes drains all your resources, including your emotional resources, time spent caring for your family, your own health...
Many people put happiness behind them, so that in the end, they are not worth the loss.
Success is the bright line, happiness is the dark line. But this dark line can make a difference in your life.
So in 2022, don't just make success a goal, but also give yourself a goal for your happiness.
Having said all that, I also hope that you will think about it now, and in 2022, each set a goal for success and happiness.
Less is more, more is confusing.
I hope that at the end of the year, everyone can confidently say: This year, I have achieved my goal!
Empty cup mentality
Let's talk about this 0.
0 represents an empty cup and a zero mindset.
Many people's understanding of the empty cup mentality is: I also maintain an open mind to learn attitude. This understanding is certainly correct, but I want to go a little deeper.
When Jobs gave a speech at Stanford University, he said the world-famous words Stay hungry, Stay foolish. The meaning of this sentence is: if you are hungry for knowledge, you are humble as foolish.
If someone else's statement is different from yours, you can immediately be curious, not immediately debate.
There is a particularly wonderful saying in the Analects, see the wise and think together, see the unwise and introspect within. I see excellent people, and I have to look up to him so that there will be a steady stream of energy to motivate you.
Seeing that others are not doing well, immediately reflect on yourself, do I have such a bad part?
If a person has an empty cup mentality, he will be calm and calm, appear humble, and be able to carry everything. Therefore, Lao Tzu also said: The good is like water, and the water is watered by all things without dispute.
It's an empty mindset.
This year, our tutor class took a Taoist class and went to Tiantai Mountain to enlighten the Tao. There is a big waterfall on Tiantai Mountain, which is very wonderful, the waterfall rushes down, and the waterhole below the waterfall is incredibly calm. Except for the part that was smashed, there was a little splash of water, and after a few meters it was very calm.
Thick virtue carrier.
This mentality is very important in the family and at work.
When you can catch the emotions of your partner and children, the family is harmonious; when you can catch the emotions of your boss, colleagues, or subordinates, your work is harmonious.
Many people are defeated by their own emotions, because they can't catch the emotions, so they have to vent, resulting in more emotions... Finally pay for emotions.
An empty cup means we can catch it, we don't overflow, it means we can beat ourselves.
Two elements of success
If you just want to repeat your previous successes, you may be able to work as hard as you did before.
If you want to be more successful, are you going to work harder? Did you work 8 hours a day and you now work 16 hours a day? You can't do that.
So it's not enough to just try harder than before.
#01
Cognitive upgrade
What is limiting you? It's thinking and cognition. If cognition doesn't escalate, you'll repeat at a low level. If your cognition is upgraded, you can spend the same amount of time creating better results.
Thinking determines behavior, and cognition determines height.
Cognitive upgrading is extremely important, there are two ways to do, the first is to find a teacher to learn, the second is to read books.
A lot of people come to my class, they actually talk to my thoughts, and that's certainly one way to do it.
Reading books is also a great way to do that. Whoever you read is talking to. This is a very low-cost approach. A book is a few tens of dollars, but you can talk to very powerful people: all the big guys in ancient and modern China and abroad, you can cross time and space to talk to them.
When you have a lifelong learning habit, you can cognitively upgrade every year, and success will be easier.
#02
Practice deliberately
In addition to cognitive upgrading, in order to make our achievements land this year and make our professional ability more powerful, we also have to practice deliberately.
Many people have only changed from novices to mature hands in their lives, and there is a world of difference between them and masters.
The key to this is deliberate practice.
There are three differences between deliberate practice and ordinary practice:
Action disassembly,
Lots of practice,
Timely feedback.
People who have listened to my lectures agree that my lectures are humorous and attractive.
But in the beginning, when I lectured, I was spitting, usually halfway through the talk and half gone.
In order to attract everyone's attention, I listened to Guo Degang every day to see how he threw the stem, practiced repeatedly, and then went to work to tell my colleagues.
After a few years like this, I went to the northeast to give a lecture, and the students all said: Listening to Gao Yuan's class, it was too funny.
I finally achieved the results I wanted. If I was just practicing normally, then until now I can only memorize the PPT, and there will be no other changes.
It's language, I also specifically exercised my posture, how to get on stage... Every part was deliberately practiced to make me where I am today.
If you want to take your professional skills to the next level, you must practice deliberately, and you will definitely make progress. Normally, after three to five years, you can become a master.
Those who want to learn new skills can learn new skills, and those who want to continue to improve can continue to polish and become teachers.
Two elements about success: cognitive upgrading and deliberate practice, which are your key actions this year.
Two elements of happiness
What is happiness?
For most people, happiness means having good emotions and having good relationships with the people around them.
So happiness has two elements: to achieve others and to be kind to yourself.
Achieve others
No matter what you define happiness, happiness can't be just you, right? We are all living in the crowd and need a good relationship.
We are not trying to please the people around us, but to learn to understand his thinking logic, feelings, and connecting to each other. In this way, the other party will feel that you understand him, can understand his heart, and will have a good relationship with you.
Many people have told me that there will be some "screaming moments" when learning the Enneagram: Isn't this what I am? Isn't this my parents? Isn't this my aunt? Then I will think about studying hard and want to know how to get this kind of person.
At this time, I usually say: let's cool it for the time being, don't try to change him, learn to see him, so that you can make a real link.
An important part of a good relationship is being able to see each other, fulfill each other, and meet each other's needs. Not to please, not to manipulate, but to see each other deeply, and to see is the greatest love.
When you see it, you will achieve him, and when you achieve him, will you still worry about the relationship?
Be kind to yourself
In addition to achieving others, we must not forget to be kind to ourselves.
How can you be kind to yourself? Do three things well.
The first is emotional management.
Some people may feel that emotion management is all about controlling emotions, no. If you just control your emotions, you'll hurt yourself and make you feel depressed.
Emotional management is not to suppress or deny emotions, but to learn to perceive, release, and alleviate emotions. Don't hold back and hold back your emotions, that would hurt yourself.
We need to be able to perceive our emotions and then recognize the source of our emotions: How am I feeling at this moment? Sadness or anger? Why do I feel this way?
We can go into our own emotions and hug the child inside, he has so many emotions, we go and treat him well, we hug him.
The reason why we have emotions is definitely that there are places that are not satisfied. Find the unsatisfied point, go back to the source, see it, heal it.
The second is health management.
With healthy emotions, you also need to have a healthy body to carry.
There is a passage circulating on the Internet: when you are young, you exchange your body for money, and when you are old, you use money for your body.
Every year, our company goes hiking, not just to build a group or to play, but to constantly call out: your connection with your body is very important, and your physical health is very important.
Last year our company went hiking on Lake Sailim
In addition to exercise, rest is also very important for health. What is rest? It's about letting the brain work a different way, and letting the body work a different way.
I lecture in the company during the day and go home at night to play ball with my children, which is just rest for me.
Rest is to let the brain change a channel of exercise, this rest in conjunction with the complete change of the body, is the best rest.
In fact, the body needs continuous exercise to activate, not only sleep is rest, not only nothing is rest, let the body and brain change a channel of exercise is the real rest.
The third management is time management.
We can divide things into the following when we work:
What kind of things should we do first in these four coordinates? What kind of things should be taken the most?
A lot of people will say that you should do "important and urgent things" first, and if that's what you think, it's easy to lose control of your time.
When you face important and urgent matters, will you be particularly in a hurry, especially nervous? When there are many important and urgent things in your life, you will find that your life is completely pushed along.
We prioritize the important and urgent things, but pay special attention to those that are important and not urgent. Once you focus on the second quadrant, you will find that there are fewer and fewer things in the first quadrant.
Because you've done very important things for a long time. Although it is not urgent, but you are in the front, there will be fewer and fewer urgent things behind you.
summary
2022 is a special year because in this year, you have to set two goals: one about success and one about happiness, and you will achieve them.
There are two factors for success: cognitive upgrading and deliberate practice.
There are two elements to happiness: to achieve others and to be kind to yourself.
Of course, there is also a point that is important for success and happiness, and that is to maintain an empty cup mentality.
If you still don't know how to practice after reading it, or have a stuck point in the process of practicing, for example:
I don't have a good relationship with my partner, how do I go to see him?
I can't control my temper, how should I perceive emotions?
I also feel that I don't know enough, how to upgrade my cognition?
……
Then welcome to listen to my offline class, three days and two nights of classes will allow you to open the door to understand yourself, understand others, grasp the secret of happy relationships, and improve yourself.
Through the experiential new curriculum, I will let you understand your emotions, personality, and patterns in the relationship, and see yourself clearly.
There will also be many cases to let you understand the way people get along with each other, so that you can understand the core secrets of dealing with relationships from the root.
Success is easy, happiness is not difficult, the key is whether you really want to have? Click on the original article to read, this will be a life-changing lesson.