Emotional management is a very important ability that parents should teach their children

Emotional management is a very important ability that parents should teach their children

Emotional management skills are a very important ability that we should teach our children. Today I would like to share with you a method, Emotional ABC, to help children effectively control their emotions.

Let's first look at what emotion is. ABCA refers to events, while B refers to beliefs, also known as irrational beliefs. Even after a person encounters an inducing event, he will explain and evaluate the thoughts of the event. c refers to the emotional and behavioral outcome of the person after the event. We generally think that when something happens, it leads to an outcome where A induces C, but this is not the case. It is not A but BB that influences the outcome, but our perception, evaluation and understanding of the event.

We explain it through a story that we have all heard. An old lady with two daughters is in business. The eldest daughter sells fans and the younger daughter sells umbrellas. When the weather is good, the old lady is worried about her little daughter and is afraid that the umbrella will not be sold. When it was cloudy, the old lady was worried about the eldest daughter and was afraid that the fan would not be sold. As a result, the old lady's life was melancholy.

Neighbors asked him why he always looked sad. The old lady explained the situation, and the neighbor smiled and said, "Old lady, you are so blessed." When the weather is good, the eldest daughter's business is good, and on cloudy days, the younger daughter's business is prosperous. The old lady listened, suddenly enlightened, and turned her troubles into pleasure. What does this story tell us?

For the same thing, everyone has a different interpretation of his opinion, and the mood will be very different. It's a couple. ABC, also known as emotional ABC, is a very practical and easy-to-use method of emotion regulation. When the child encounters some bad emotions and changes his mind, the result will be different.

To give you a practical example, a child said that I made an appointment with a good friend to come home at seven o'clock, but he was an hour late. I was angry at the time and thought he was deliberate and untrustworthy. When he came, I walked away angrily and ignored him for a long time. Let's see what the ABC in this example is.

A made an appointment with a friend to go home, but the friend arrived an hour late. b Think that the friend is deliberate and untrustworthy. C got angry and ignored the boyfriend for a long time. Because he felt that his friend was deliberately late and untrustworthy, he was very angry and ignored his friend. So change your mind, will there be any change in your mood?

The child said that after learning emotional ABC, I think my friend probably didn't mean it. For example, being left behind by a teacher and so on, and he had never been late before, this time it was an accident. When I think so, I'm not angry at all, but calmly want to talk to him about what happened. Teaching children interest ABC is to teach children to see problems from another perspective, build correct cognition, and effectively control emotions.