Do you want your child to take the initiative to learn? The ABC rule must be, you must try it.
The children of the girlfriend's family, reading the second grade of primary school, usually do not love to learn, just want to play, every day homework must be written until very late, the mother does not urge not to write, urging is also a grinding foreign worker.
Girlfriend asked me for help, I recommended to her a set of learning + homework ABC rules, girlfriend execution is particularly good, insist on a month, the child will not grind and chirp, and then consolidate to three months, the child has formed a habit, can completely manage themselves.
Children do not take the initiative in learning, which bothers many parents, and today Zhen Zhen will share with you once and for all: the ABC rule. Let me take a look at how it allows children to take the initiative to learn!
Interested parents, first like the collection, to prevent you from finding it later when you want to see it.
法则A：All by Myself
I do it myself
Every day after school, Xiaonan would take her homework to the kitchen and sit at the dining table to write her homework, while her mother supervised him while cooking. As a result, his absent-mindedness often angered his mother, and his mother had to remind him to be serious frequently, and as a result, the whole family was controlled by his homework, as long as he wrote his homework, the air at home was very tense, and grandma did not even dare to say anything, for fear of distracting her grandson.
There are many similar cases, these children are obviously using homework to control the family, his homework, but has become a barometer of the whole family, he writes well, the whole family is happy, he can't write well, the whole family is sad. This is very unwise.
Parents should make it clear to their children as early as possible: everything must be done by themselves. This point should be cultivated from the time the child goes to kindergarten. Let the child know that his own things can only be done by himself, and if he does not do it, he must bear the consequences of not doing it.
When children enter school, they need to have their own desks for writing homework, preferably independent spaces, so that whether they write or not, they will not become weapons to manipulate the emotions of the whole family, and they will not use their own performance to attract attention, control their parents or show helplessness.
Only when the child is accustomed to doing everything by himself can he have the motivation to complete the task and learn actively, rather than passively waiting for the parents to help him.
Rule B: Back Off
Parents have to back off
Remember, parents should not take the initiative to help their child unless they ask.
Zi Yue: No anger, no enlightenment, no shame, no hair. That is to say, educators should stimulate students' active desire to explore, and when they do not want to know this knowledge, do not inspire him.
When doing homework, if the child has problems, you can wait for all the homework to be written and ask the parents for help. Parents only need to give 5-10 minutes of help, and if they are not clear, ask their children to go to school tomorrow to ask the teacher.
When we are no longer on call, the frequency of questions asked by children decreases.
Parents' retreat is actually to give all the responsibility for homework to the child, and two principles should be remembered when implementing:
1. Don't provide shortcuts for your child
Don't tell the child the answer directly, some fathers like to tell the child the result directly, so that both sides are very relaxed, but the child will find this, more efficient than he wants, next time he will not think for himself.
2. You may also not provide services
Sometimes children will complain that you are not clear and different from the teacher, at this time you can say, then I can't help you, you can call your classmates, or ask the teacher to tell you again tomorrow.
These "backsliding" operations are actually forcing children to embark on the road of independent thinking, and in the upper grades of primary school, you will find that children's independent thinking ability is too important for learning, and children without thinking habits are difficult to make breakthroughs in learning.
Rule C: Create Limits
Set boundaries
Boundary 1: Time invested by parents
Parents can help their children with homework time, to make a limit, for example, I spend 30 minutes a day, the first 10 minutes, I instruct the child to make a homework plan, and then finally when he is finished, I spend 20 minutes to answer the child's questions.
Doing so can free parents from the hard work of tutoring homework, and also draw clear boundaries for homework, so that children know that homework is their own business, and only he can be responsible for homework!
Boundary 2: Time for the child to finish writing
Every day, the child needs to complete the homework left and right, which also needs to be a limitation, and the child cannot be delayed indefinitely. We can design the end time according to the actual situation, and require the child to complete it within this time, otherwise it cannot be written. If he can't explain it to the teacher because of this, he has to bear it himself.
Boundary 3: Daily reading time
Parents can design a daily parent-child reading time after the child completes the homework, on the one hand, it can enhance the parent-child relationship, on the other hand, it can also improve the child's reading ability, and on the other hand, it can let the child know that the homework cannot be delayed until the co-reading time.
Zhen Zhen summed up
This article shares the ABC rule that allows children to learn actively, and you will find that it has a core idea: less is more.
In the matter of children's learning, parents can provide help, but they cannot cross the line, and once they help them bear more, they themselves lose the ability to learn actively. Therefore, less care is the true meaning.
I am @蓁蓁 Psychological Upbringing, your family education instructor, focusing on child psychology research, welcome to follow me.
The image comes from the Internet, such as intrusion and deletion.