This is the 3572nd article of Da Medical Care
The grandmother sat on the chair and sighed: This sun is so big, the day is so hot! My big brother's umbrella sells who goes! alas......
It's raining, and the grandmother still sighs: You see this yellow plum day in Shanghai, it rains every day, people are going to be moldy, how can the clothes of this laundromat be washed? I have two babies to raise in the family! Now everything is expensive, yesterday I signed up for a training class for my eldest granddaughter, and ten thousand oceans will go out. alas......
Is there any way to make Grandma Zhang happy???
In our lives, everyone will have emotional experiences: happiness, pleasure, boredom, pain... So, what exactly affects our emotions?
A long time ago, in France, there was a master with three apprentices working on the construction site. A passerby asked, "What are you doing?" ”
The first one said: I'm building bricks,
The other one said: I'm building a house.
The third one said: I am building a palace.
Years have passed, and the bricklayer has been unable to find a job, for he is too old to lay bricks anymore, and he cannot do so; the man who built the house is still building a house, but has his own villa and has become a contractor; and the third is already a well-known master of architectural design in France.
The three workers who did the same job had three different beliefs and produced three different results.
In the 1950s, the American psychologist Albert M. Ellis created the ABC theory of emotions, which also became the core of rational emotion therapy.
Ellis believes that excitation event A is only an indirect cause of emotional and behavioral consequence C, and the direct cause of C is the belief B generated by the individual's cognition and evaluation of excitation event A, that is, the result of a person's negative emotions and behavioral disorders (C), which is not directly caused by a certain excitation event (A), but directly caused by the false belief (B) generated by the individual who experienced the event's incorrect cognition and evaluation of it.
Three construction workers with different beliefs lead to three different lives. They are all as construction workers, they are all the same A, but different Bs lead to very different Cs. This simple example confirms Ellis's theory that B is the direct cause of C.
People's emotions and behavioral reactions are directly related to people's thoughts and opinions about things. Behind these ideas and opinions, there is a common view of a type of thing, which is the belief.
For example, someone says to you, "You're such a nice man!" Different beliefs may have different emotional responses.
armor. He likes me, it's so nice! - Happy, happy
second. He's just comforting me! - Sad, angry
third. I'm not very good, what does this person want to do? - Doubt, confusion
fourth. Hmmm, please me, want to take advantage of me! - Boredom, hostility
E.......
Reasonable beliefs cause people to respond appropriately and moderately to things emotionally and behaviorally; irrational beliefs, on the contrary, often lead to inappropriate emotional and behavioral reactions.
In real life, we need to learn to build new, more realistic and more adaptable ways of thinking and cognition.
A psychologist told Grandma Zhang: Grandma Zhang, recently I saw that you were sullen all day, and I heard that you still don't eat well and sleep well. Are you worried about your son's business? If you think about it, your son who sells umbrellas has a good business on a rainy day, a good business for your son in a laundry on a sunny day, and your son has a business on a rainy day or a sunny day. Your family has money to earn every day!
Grandma Zhang felt that it made a lot of sense, so she was happy.
attach:
Initiation event A (the first letter of the activating event)
Belief B (the first letter of belief)
Emotional and Behavioral Consequence C (first letter of consequence)
Author: Shanghai Fengxian District Mental Health Center
Psychiatry Wang Jinde Attending Physician