01
Since the rebound of the epidemic, I have always heard the voice of my neighbor Liu Jie educating her children.
Her son was online at home, and she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
Ignore him, sit in front of the computer for two hours, and will not listen to the teacher's lectures;
With a little education, the child will yell and mess up the whole family.
I don't know if Sister Liu is a "loving mother" or insists on happy education?
Or will she turn into a "tiger mother" to intimidate the child?
I believe that many parents are worried about this problem.
@Wugu Feng emotion
02
In fact, on the road of children's growth, suffering is indispensable, and it is also their way to a bright life.
Therefore, parents should have a longer-term vision and learn to "be ruthless" in the concept of education.
After all, one "forced" and one "not forced," twenty years later, the lives of these children are completely different.
I once saw a piece of news on TV.
It was said that a convenience store in Guangdong was robbed by a group of children in less than half a minute.
In the video released by the police, a group of people opened the roller shutter door of the convenience store at 1 o'clock in the middle of the night and then carried out the theft.
The case was solved quickly, and the police also noticed that these "fourteenth and fifteen- year-olds" teenagers all have one thing in common.
They lack the education of their parents.
They don't like to study, and their parents let them drop out;
What they want to do, parents can't do.
Children's disobedience is the parents' doting on them.
How do you turn your child into an unfortunate person? This method is to listen to him. As the news above shows.
Although such extreme cases are rare in real life, many parents have a wrong understanding of "happy education", doting and indulging in their children.
If the child does not concentrate on doing homework, it is better to let him play for a while;
The child plays the piano for half an hour, worried that the child will be tired;
When you don't want to go to school, find an excuse to take a leave of absence for your child.
Whenever a child is unhappy, they will abandon their principles and try their best to make their children happy.
In their conception, the essence of "happy education" is "happiness", not "education".
In the end, children are happy, but their studies are in a mess, and they even go down the wrong path and ruin their future.
You know, when people are young, what they lack most is self-control, and they are best at doing whatever they want and retreating in spite of difficulties.
You don't force them to make their childhood seem happy, but in fact, their future is a time bomb.
You can't bear to watch your children suffer, and he will have to endure the suffering of life in the future;
If you can't educate your child now, then the society will help you educate him later.
03
As the saying goes, inertia is like killing a child.
Don't blindly believe in "happy education", good education is always contrary to human nature.
As Professor Qian Wenzhong said:
"Why is education happy, I really can't figure out, how education must be happy?" There must be an element of pain in education, and this is self-evident. ”
If you want to cultivate a good child, you can't do it without parental advice, restraint or even strict education.
Remember the child Peng Chao who didn't have an arm at the Chinese Poetry Conference?
Despite his physical flaws, his poetic prowess made him the show's first title.
He showed us that behind every good child, there is a pair of ruthless "parents".
At the age of 6, Peng Chao lost an arm due to electric shock, but in the more than twenty days after the operation, his father Peng Changfu taught him to write with his feet.
Peng Chao was wrapped tightly in a bandage, and he angrily slammed his pen to the ground and shouted at his father:
"My injury hurts, can you stop training?"
Who knows, Peng Changfu not only did not spare his subordinates, but also let him continue to write.
It wasn't until his son had finished a page that he turned back and cried a lot.
In the next few days, his father became more "fierce", he watched Peng Chao study, watched him exercise, and did not let him relax.
After that, Peng Chao not only liked to read, but also was admitted to college with excellent results and appeared in the poetry conference, which made everyone look at it.
Peng's father is very ruthless, he knows that the road of life is not smooth, and no one can be smooth.
Indeed, in order to make their children have better development, they must cultivate their children's ability and perseverance from an early age, and all of this is inseparable from the careful cultivation of parents.
04
A genius parent once said:
It is normal for a child to lack self-control and not be active, and if we can't force them, then sooner or later he will be dumped by other classmates and will one day blame us.
Parents will grow old one day, children will one day enter the society, and no one can protect them for a lifetime.
If you can make a child suffer a little and help him at a critical moment, then his future path will be better.
To let our children develop the habit of independence and self-discipline, we, as parents, need to supervise them all the time.
So, how do you be a "coaching" parent?
First, set an example and be a role model for children.
Not long ago, a pair of twin brothers exploded.
At the time of the college entrance examination, his brother Li Shiqian took the 667 test, and his younger brother Li Shikun took the 654 test
This year, both of them were admitted to Peking University.
Many people went to their parents for advice, and their dad said:
Quite simply, read with them.
It is much better for parents to set an example through their own actions and guide their children through their own actions than to urge and nag endlessly.
05
A survey by the Ministry of Education showed:
"The factors that affect a child's academic performance are his family and the child himself, and this factor can play a 65% role."
First, set an example.
Parents put down the phone, took the book, and the children naturally liked to read;
Parents self-discipline and exercise regularly, so that children will not be lazy.
If parents want their children to excel, they must set their own example from themselves.
Second, in order for children to have a career, rules must be set at a very young age.
In life, there is never a shortage of "bear children"
The children shouted in public, dropped a toy from the air, pushed a pregnant woman down stairs, and so on.
When we blame our own children, don't forget that every "bear child" is spoiled by their parents.
There is a saying that learning the rules well is the first step in a child's growth.
Educating children to understand the rules is more important than academic performance and habits.
As the saying goes, there are no rules, no squares, we just live in this orderly world.
Let the child develop good behavior habits from an early age, which can not only help him grow, but also inhibit his impatience and exercise his will.
Third, there must be tension and flexibility.
There is a saying that goes well: "The way of culture and martial arts, one piece of relaxation." ”
There must be a limit to everything, and excessiveness will be counterproductive, and the same is true in education.
We must neither indulge our children nor be too harsh on them so that they have rebellious feelings.
Psychological research shows that:
Those who relax moderately tend to have more success than those who forget to eat and sleep.
Parents should know how to properly let their children relax.
When children are stressed, they can be taken outside to let them relax;
When children have troubles, talk to them moderately;
If a child is bored, play with him.
We don't want to be "loving parents", but we can't push our children too hard.
Ten years of tree people, a hundred years of tree people, is not so easy to teach, the key is to master their own strength.
06
Have you ever heard people complain in your daily life?
Children play mobile phones all day long, play games, do not say, scold and scold, it is really difficult to educate;
Children grind and rub up, brush their teeth, eat, do not urge or move, and are late for school every day;
Children are too lazy, don't do housework, don't like to participate in interest classes, and don't participate in sports activities.
In fact, this is the nature of a child, and it is also their habit.
Children who do not have innate self-control are only parents who are unwilling to force themselves.
For the sake of the children, let's cheer together!