"It's so tiring to raise a child!" This is the voice of many parents.
We must pay attention to the child's physical health, but also pay attention to the child's mental health; we must cultivate the child's interest and all-round development, and the academic performance cannot be left behind; the child goes to school, and the parents also have to take the test. Parents are too tired to call directly.
Obviously, there are only one or two children now, and there are 6 adults, so why are so many people with one or two children still tired? Before the two couples brought six or seven children, they felt that they were happy, healthy and healthy.
This makes us have to wonder, why is it getting more and more tiring to raise children now?
1 Expectations are too high
In most Chinese families, children are the top priority of a family, and the attention of the whole family is on the children.
From pregnancy, prenatal education to early education to kindergarten, primary school, junior high school, high school, college, and even to work, parents are high standards and strict requirements, parents are around the child for more than ten years, everything hopes that the child will do the best.
During the period is all kinds of planning, contrasting, worrying, full of hope and disappointment from time to time, how can you not be tired?
In fact, your high expectations for children, the pressure of children is also very large, he knows that the elders for their own expectations, often easy to suppress themselves.
If we can look at the child with a normal heart, do not have such high expectations for the child, put aside the expectation of the child's fame and fortune, and just hope that he can live a happy and happy life in the future, is it not easy?
2 People other than parents meddle too much
Now many families are six adults with a child, and every time the children go out to play, there are several large bags and small bags behind them.
And in terms of raising children, each elder has his own parenting experience, and then has his own ideas about the learning and growth of children.
For example, the child stole the grandmother's money, the parents feel that this is a very important thing, should be taken seriously and dealt with, but the grandparents protect the child, saying that the grandmother's money is the grandson's, can not fight or scold.
Parents also have no way, after the child makes a mistake, just hide in the grandparents or grandparents, there is no way to educate the children very well, once you want to convince the grandparents, the elders will say, when you were a child, I taught this, didn't I grow up the same?
Too much involvement of elders will allow children to choose the party that is beneficial to themselves, so that there is no way to make rules and establish correct values.
Even in some families, parents do not have the right to speak, their own family affairs still have to obey the arrangements of their parents, and they are exhausted and tired of their own hard work, and there are many contradictions.
3 The climbing heart is too strong
Parents are anxious now, why do you say that?
Children walk later than others, seize the time every day to let children practice, can not fall behind the progress;
Children are not as tall as their peers, give children a variety of nutritional supplements, exercise;
Seeing what interest classes other people's children have learned, they immediately went to register their children...
I have always been comparing with others, afraid of where it is inferior to others, and have always been looking at the state of others, the progress of others, and the practices of others.
Both to always look at others, but also to ensure that they do not fall behind, there are so many others, how can you not be anxious and not tired?
Parents who have such a thought, we must pay attention to the fact that everyone has their own life track, others are others, we are us, why should we always run with others?
When you focus on the growth of your child and focus on your own state, I believe that you will be able to relax a lot.
4 The desire for control is too strong
Parents feel that the child is still a child, everything needs to be personally controlled, everything needs to be in their own control, otherwise the child will definitely mess up.
For example, when the child gets up and what time he goes to bed, whether the child walks or takes the car to go to school, when to complete the homework, when to arrive home, must be completed under the supervision of the parents. Once the child does not come according to his own ideas, he will adjust the child's way by scolding and blaming.
The children cultivated in this way have no independent ideas and have been living with trembling, just to achieve the satisfaction of their parents, without goals and without their own interests and hobbies.
Parents can also feel very tired, because while living their own lives, they also have to take care of everything about their children, and the children are often in a state of uncontrollable control.
It is better to let go of the hand, let the child learn to live independently, think independently, let the child arrange his own time independently, and the parents can be much easier.
This is not laziness, but better for children to become a truly independent individual and become a better version of themselves.
5 There is no opinion
With the advent of the Internet era, our lives have brought great changes, and when you encounter a difficulty to search online, there will be countless answers.
In terms of educating children, parents are more concerned, so they will be particularly willing to learn, and when they see that their children want to be stocked, they will start stocking. The next day, I saw that the child was going to be intensively raised, and I changed the way of parenting. The third day...
Seeing that a certain age group on the Internet still needs to make up for something, they will buy it for their children to eat; seeing that letting children learn a certain interest can improve concentration, and also enrolling children... Completely disregard the state of their own children.
A lot of time and energy is spent gathering as much experience as possible, and then following this information around, completely without regard to their own situation. Eventually exhausted, the child's problems were not solved.
When it comes to educating children, it's not how much information you've gathered, but what you know that you can use and are worth adhering to, and what needs to be adjusted.
In this way, you will not be overwhelmed and overwhelmed by excessive information, and you will be able to firmly believe in your own way in the parenting process.
6 Father absent
I believe that everyone has heard a word called "widowed parenting", which refers to the situation that the father does not participate in parenting and is absent from the growth of the child.
It is not uncommon in Chinese families that fathers do not have children and only mothers are busy with their children, which is why many mothers complain about tired life.
Parents participate in parenting together, both parties can be much easier, check each other's omissions and fill in the gaps, and the relationship between husband and wife can become more harmonious. More importantly, children who grow up with their parents together can develop more psychologically and personality.
7 There is no correct view of consumption
Speaking of which, there is another important reason why parents feel tired - the economy. As the saying goes, a dollar is hard for a hero.
Many parents tighten their pants belts, buy school district houses for their children, buy famous brands for their children, sign up for interest classes, and never consider their economic ability.
"A child is equal to ten acres of land", from the birth of the child to the adulthood, it is impossible to say that it is not hard, but hard work does not mean to bring too much economic pressure to ourselves, we have to do what we can.
In Xingzhi, we have seen many parents who are very tired with their children, and we have also seen many parents who are very relaxed and happy with their children, in fact, what kind of parents they want to become are optional. What kind of parent are you going to be?