Is there a difference between some families at home and abroad who choose to implement happy education with respect for their children and free-range education?

Is it an imaginary way of education that some families at home and abroad adopt respect for children's choice to implement happy education?

It feels like most parents are used to always thinking about the problem in terms of either-or.

The first thing that needs to be explained is that if everyone carefully observes or understands, all the so-called freedom in the world is not the complete freedom imagined by some people in their own minds, and there is no freedom without any restrictions.

The same principle is applied to parenting, respect for children's choice problems, happy learning is by no means equivalent to allowing children to completely throw away any learning problems in the process of growing up, allowing children to choose as they wish, and parents give respect.

First, some of the necessary learning is not mandatory, but at least it should be known, because everyone, including children, is a social person

1. The code of conduct expressly stipulated in laws and regulations does not require each child's learning level to reach the level of barrister, as a parent or guardian in the daily parenting process has the responsibility and obligation, in the language that the child can understand and understand, tirelessly edify and teach by example, so that the child understands the direction of not touching the bottom line, otherwise it will only accept legal sanctions;

2. The content/concept involving public order and good customs does not require each child to memorize relevant provisions by rote as if they want to go to the examination hall to take the exam, as a parent or guardian has the responsibility and obligation in the daily parenting process, and in a language that the child can understand and understand, tirelessly edify and teach by example, so that the child understands what kind of social condemnation will be suffered if it is not done;

3. The relevant disciplines and rules and regulations involving schools and some public places do not require each child to memorize relevant provisions by rote as if they want to go to the examination room, as a school teacher, administrator and parent or guardian have the responsibility and obligation in the daily parenting or teaching process, and teach in a language that the child can understand and understand, so that the child can abide by the relevant rules and regulations;

4. Other aspects

We can find that from the above points alone, we can understand that at least these aspects are not "respecting the child's choice, as an optional option to let him freely choose whether to learn or not, to know".

Second, as a social person, you need to learn the necessary knowledge and skills

1, language communication problems: as a tool for communication and communication of language, such as Chinese, do not require children to become a university of traditional Chinese studies, literature in the future, and then retreat to the second, do not expect children to participate in the future in the college entrance examination, language subjects can be excellent in a single subject. Basic Chinese vocabulary, basic language literacy should always be learned and mastered, right?!

We can't always give up learning Chinese because children don't have an interest in learning languages, especially because they should be familiar with them and practice writing so many words, words and excellent articles, and retreat from difficulties, right?

To take an example that is not necessarily elegant, in the future, when the child grows up, has the need for marriage and love, and wants to express admiration for the object of the opposite sex that he likes, whether it is courageous enough to speak directly or convey information through letters, if he did not like the language when he was a child, he did not learn any skills, and did not have basic Chinese literacy. Hindered by the inconvenience of public occasions, everyone can fully imagine what beautiful emotional expression language can be said, and it is good not to make the audience of these "garbled language" feel disgusted or even disgusted.

Nor do the bar elves have to list the combination between the rich and the "illiterate" and the "talented and knowledgeable." Long or not, just say, just in a word: just like people wear shoes, whether they fit or not, only they have the deepest experience! That's not a rough thing to say.

2. In daily work and life, some basic skills need to be mastered, and the basic knowledge that needs to be learned. As parents, whether they can teach by example or through other means, they should let their children learn at their own age stage and meet the basic standards that should be known as a social person.

3. Other aspects not mentioned

The above is to say that the problem is to be deduced from the opposite direction, whether the relevant parents understand it or not, these aspects do not reflect "respect for the child's choice, the child's independent choice to achieve happy learning".

As a parent, I have not done or failed to do a good job in guiding the work, and there is not much difference from the behavior of "being born without raising", "raising without teaching", and "teaching without being appropriate".

This is only after experiencing a negative case that parents will have a pain in the skin. Given the public, it is no longer and inappropriate to show that negative content causes discomfort to the reader.

Back to the positive direction, some parents understand the happy learning, respect for children's choices, children may repeat or give up a variety of original "hobbies" in the subsequent growth process. It's normal.

First, talent

1, in addition to a very small number of parents can be when the child is very young, themselves or through others to find the child's outstanding characteristics in a certain aspect, properly guided after just matching the child's interests, hobbies, complete respect for the child's choice and give corresponding support, the result of the child out of control towards their own interests continue to delve deeply and explore, it is possible to obtain major achievements at a young age, etc., these "other people's children" cases are easy to understand, but very few, Don't struggle and don't compare your own children!

2. A small number of parents failed to discover the outstanding characteristics of the child in a certain aspect in time when the child was very young, failed to guide the child in a certain aspect, and waited until the child was found in the school in the middle and late stages, and there were two directions:

2-1, parents have a wake-up call, respect the child's interests and strengths, and begin to go all out to support, lucky children can make up for the effort through the "diligence can make up for the clumsiness" way, pay ordinary people can not imagine the hardships, it is possible to infinitely tend to reach the peak of their talent, but with a certain degree of uncertainty, the cause is that the early childhood missed the key development period;

2-2, parents do not take it seriously, still according to their own understanding and concepts according to the usual path, continue to raise children. Parents who have experienced look back on their children's growth process and may feel mixed. Gifted children are lonely, and there are not many people who can really understand them, even parents who have been with them day and night may not really understand their children. In the process of growing up, if such children are not able to find the right outlet for their own intelligence, and do not get the understanding and recognition of the people around them, they will most likely show "weirdness", emotional problems and other bad behavior habits. It is the type of person who regrets it after the fact.

Second, efforts

1, as mentioned above, gifted children, if they can get timely and effective guidance, support, their own continuous efforts, unless force majeure factors or human malicious interference factors, its development path is not to say smooth, at least in the end is very likely to climb to the peak of life. On the contrary, there is no substantial effort to pay for talent, no matter what the reason, the final result is self-evident;

2, there is no special talent of children, there is no substantial effort and effort, the results are very clear, will not be repeated;

3, children with average talent, even if their parents attach great importance to their growth, are willing to guide their children to work hard for the relevant resources that their creativity can reach. In the end, if you can achieve good achievements that match your natural qualifications, such a result should be happy for everyone.

Unfortunately, in the current reality, a considerable number of families do not do academic planning and career planning for their children in this way, and often set "the ideal life development path and ultimate goal in the minds of parents" for children. According to the results of continuous tracking and related statistics, including undisclosed, such children did not grow up to "live as their parents had hoped they would have them to be"!

So, when parents discuss issues about their child's education, it is nothing more than:

1. Should we respect children's choices and implement happy learning?

Still is

2. Should the intervention of the child's learning give "prescribed actions" according to the parents' expectations, or even suppressive education, so as to promote the child to walk on the track prescribed by the parents to "ensure" the expected results in the future?

No matter which one is chosen, it is recommended that parents adopt reverse thinking, in a beginning-to-end manner, combined with the child's talents, match the conditions and resources available at each stage of growth according to the time node, and analyze its feasibility if the child can achieve the achievements (including but not limited to academic achievements, strengths, other comprehensive literacy, etc.) after normal efforts. If the entire reverse path is expected to be implemented smoothly, then the preliminary selection results will also come out. Finally, it is necessary to actively and steadily implement the education method suitable for oneself in a positive and steady manner.

If the results of the backwards show that the whole process is not as smooth as expected, then appropriate adjustments need to be made, and parents really do not need to intervene in the child's learning and growth process in the way they "think it is right". Otherwise, the greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment in the end!

Whether to respect the child's choice, whether to implement happy education for the child, or to adopt other educational methods, can neither be determined by parents and relevant people completely according to self-awareness, nor can it rely on the parenting concept that is completely imagined out of thin air.