After the start of school, it is the children who go to school, but the parents who are tested
Being a parent is a career that cannot pretend to others, and the success of children is soaked with the sweat of parents.
So, in the matter of education, where you spend your time, the flower of success will bloom.
Author | Coke Mama
Some time ago, the "sacred beasts" started school one after another.
In the circle of friends, it is often seen that there are parents who celebrate happily, send the "hot potato" away, and liberate themselves.
However, educating children is a grand and lengthy exam.
Whether the final answer sheet is one more point or one less point, the child will face a completely different life.
In the face of parenting, a difficult problem that takes a lifetime to answer, if parents can read the following three formulas, I believe that many things will suddenly be enlightened.
5-2=0
There is a famous formula in education: 5-2=0
Among them, "5" represents the five days of the child's education at school, and "2" symbolizes the child's two days of homeschooling on the weekend.
This formula reminds us that if family education cannot keep up, even the best school education is useless.
Yes, raising a child is like planting a tree.
School education is sunshine and rain, but in the final analysis, family education is the foundation of the tree.
As former Minister of Education Chen Baosheng said:
"Family education is not in place, which will not only cancel the effect of school education, but also have a certain negative impact on the development of children."
Previously, a young boy in Shanghai was on the hot search for running away from home.
After being found by the police, the boy cried aggrievedly that he had problems writing his homework and needed his mother's help, but his mother only cared about playing with his mobile phone.
How is this scene not a microcosm of thousands of families?
Just imagine:
A child has a hard time developing a serious and responsible attitude towards learning in school, but when he gets home, his parents are either scrolling videos or playing games, and urging his child to write homework quickly.
In such a family atmosphere, can our children refuse temptation and concentrate on reading?
You know, for a child, the best classroom is the family, the best teacher is the parents, and the best school district room is the study room at home.
Remember Yang, who scored 726 points in this year's college entrance examination?
He scored 750 out of 750, 132 in Chinese, 144 in English, and the rest of the math and comprehensive science.
After the results came out, some netizens exposed his family background:
It turned out that Yang's mother was a teacher at Jiangxi University of Finance and Economics.
Under the leadership of his mother, Yang has been immersed in the library since he was a child, and regards reading as a great pleasure in life.
Not only that, the mother also pays special attention to the cultivation of her son's habits, whether in life or study, he is required to be serious and focused.
It is precisely because of his mother's example and strict discipline that Yang can be so outstanding.
The writer Leo Tolstoy said:
"All education, or 999 out of a thousand, comes down to example, to the upright and perfect life of parents themselves."
No matter how good a school is, it can't compare to a positive and studious family atmosphere;
A teacher who says a thousand words and ten thousand words is not worth the words and deeds of his parents.
What kind of person you want your child to become, you must first become that person. After all, parents are the eternal life model of children.
100-1=0
Teacher Chen Mo, who has been teaching mental health for a long time, once made a bold prediction, she said that when parents meet in the future, they are likely to chat like this:
"Is your child depressed?"
"Well, depressed, severe."
"Oh, our house is fine, mild."
In the past, many people may have felt that this was an exaggeration.
But now, more and more shocking data confirm Chen Mo's judgment, and the "2022 National Depression Blue Book" released some time ago pointed out:
People under the age of 18 with depression account for 30% of the total;
50% of people with depression are school students.
In the book "Voice of Youth", a true story is mentioned:
The protagonist of the story is called Xiaoyi, because her parents have suffered a lot from low education, so after giving birth to their daughter, they resolutely embarked on the road of "chicken baby".
In the second grade, her mother asked her to go to the advanced Olympiad class, but Xiaoyi couldn't understand, and her mother kept reprimanding her;
In the fifth grade, her parents enrolled her in several cram classes in one go, which lasted four or five hours, and at the same time, she had to learn English, Olympiad, and accordion;
After entering middle school, learning in the early hours of the morning has become commonplace, and on Saturdays alone, Xiaoyi has to attend four tutoring classes...
For a long time, Xiaoyi's grades in the class were among the best, but her parents were still dissatisfied:
"How can other people's children be the first in the exam, can't you?"
Grades, honors, parents' expectations...
These have become mountains that weigh on Xiao Yi's thin and thin body, making her fall into the abyss of self-injury little by little:
She always gnawed her nails uncontrollably and scratched her arms with a pen, as if only blood and pain could heal the bitterness in her heart.
Suicidal thoughts have always lingered in Xiaoyi's mind.
In fact, the child's mental health is 1, and the score, honor, and achievement are all 0 behind.
Everything behind is valuable only when 1 exists; Without 1, everything will return to nothingness.
Zhu Yongxin, vice chairman of the National Committee of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference, once said: "If the child is not happy, what if he is admitted to Peking University and Tsinghua University, and what if he gets an annual salary of one million?" ”
If a child's life is only scored, he is not destined to win the big test of life.
Professor Li Meijin, who has been engaged in the research of adolescent psychological problems for a long time, has always adhered to this concept:
I would rather my child not be able to go to a prestigious university, but also that she must be mentally healthy and sunny.
Therefore, even if her daughter only scored 15 points in mathematics, she was not overly anxious, but tried to help her daughter discover her interests in life.
Eventually, her daughter embarked on the path of art and became an ordinary music teacher.
Although he did not become famous and start a family, he reaped earthly happiness.
As parents, while pursuing achievements and strengths, we must not forget to pay attention to the physical and mental health of our children.
The day when the aura and glory will eventually fade, a good attitude can make the child live a big river, although it will encounter obstacles, but always run in the direction of the sea.
1.01^365=37.8
0.99^365=0.03
Writer Liu Na once said a very heartfelt sentence:
"We are all first-time parents, but we are not parents on our first day.
We can always make mistakes for a while and always do not do well enough, but we cannot live in a vicious circle for the rest of our lives, repeatedly hurting children. ”
Education is never achieved overnight.
This is a big project that flows long and moisturizes silently, and what we have to do is to improve a little bit every day compared to yesterday.
Suppose we improve 0.01 every day, which seems insignificant, but after 365 days, we have gained a better parent-child relationship and a more advanced educational concept;
But if we slack off 0.01 every day, we may not see anything for a while, but we will eventually suffer from the consequences.
The Fu Lei Family Book is one of the most famous family letters in modern China.
But what few people know is that Mr. Fu Lei has also entered the misunderstanding of education:
In the early years, Fu Lei had an impatient personality and was always impatient in the process of educating his son Fu Cong.
It was not until his son went abroad that Fu Lei realized his problem, and he wrote to apologize to his son: "Child, I abused you, I will never be sorry for you, I will never be able to make up for this sin." ”
Later, Fu Lei continued to learn and reflect, and adjusted the way of education in time.
After Fu Lei's efforts day after day, father and son finally became friends who talked about everything.
In this regard, Fu Lei sighed:
"Child, I am afraid that I have learned no less lessons from you than you have learned from me.
Especially in the past three years, you don't know that I have gained a little more profound understanding of life: from the process of getting along with you, I have learned patience, learned the skill of speaking, and learned to sublimate feelings. ”
Unfortunately, not all parents have such vision and patience.
I have such parents by my side.
Both of them are career-type personalities, and after giving birth, they threw their son to the old man and went to work on their own.
Later, when the children entered the school, whenever there was a problem, the teacher contacted the parents, hoping to discuss a solution with them, and the couple always perfunctorily said:
"Teacher, I'm sorry, I'm in a meeting/business trip now, can I talk later?"
As everyone knows, every "late talk" is a delay in the growth of children.
Today, their son has grown up and is completely abandoned:
Not only is he idle all day, he knows to play games at home, but he also scolds his parents, often complaining that they hide money and don't give it to themselves.
This can't help but remind people of the "scissor effect" in pedagogy:
Children are similar when they are young, but because of their parents' different education methods, the appearance of adulthood is very different.
The wind starts at the end of the green ping, and the waves form between the gentle waves.
When facing children, if we have a little more patience, a little more companionship, and a little more encouragement every day, in a short period of time, we may not see any change.
But over time, the seeds you plant will eventually blossom and bear fruit and gradually change the future of your child.
There is a good saying:
"Most excellent children are the result of high-quality education, and most problem children are the product of problem families."
After the start of school, it is the children who go to school, but the parents who are tested.
There are no children who are born excellent and self-disciplined, and some are parents who just pay silently, constantly learning, reflecting and adjusting their own education methods.
The growth of a child is a live broadcast that cannot be reversed, and if it is missed, it can never be repeated.
Like it, I hope we can all read these three formulas, calmly deal with the problems encountered in the education process, and lead children to set sail in the new semester.