#蒋欣让田雨岚快闭嘴 #
#子悠快抑郁了吧 #
#夏君山把欢欢骂吐了 #
#南俪田雨岚动手了 #
……
The recent hit drama "Little Shede", since its inception, the plot and its characters have frequently dominated the hot search, triggering heated discussions among netizens.
Because the plot is close to real life, almost every educational topic in the play touches the sensitive and fragile nerves of parents.
The three children in the play, Yan Ziyou, Mi Tao, and Xia Huanhuan, are the same age, the same school, and the same class. She is about to face the beginning of the small ascension, but the educational attitudes of the three families are not the same: Tian Yulan is a "tiger mother", and her son Yan Ziyou is a school bully, but this still cannot eliminate her inner pursuit of a higher level of children's achievements; Nanli advocates happy education, compared with grades, she cares more about the happiness of children; the Mi Tao family is a migrant worker in the city, but Mi Tao is a school bully, and she never has to worry about her parents in learning.
As a parent, how to balance the child's education and how to guide the child with the correct attitude is a common problem faced by contemporary parents, and it is also the reason why "Little Shed" resonates.
Parents who are overly anxious tend to raise melancholy children
In the play, most of the most discussed topics are related to Tian Yulan, the mother played by Jiang Xin, and her son Yan Ziyou.
#Jiang Xin suffocating education#, #If Tian Yulan is your mother#, #Zi is depressed #......
Some netizens commented:
Surrogate Felt Suffocated.
If there was a mother like Tian Yulan, I would absolutely run away from home and break off the relationship.
How did Tian Yulan become a mother and arouse such a big reaction from netizens?
Weekend family gatherings, as soon as she entered the door and sat down, she began.
The children were happy to eat the fruit, so she asked her son the English words of the fruit to show off the child's vocabulary.
As a result, her son did not say a word, and she immediately dropped her face: "Isn't this what I just memorized in the morning?" ”
After the reprimand, he spelled out the words word by word and asked, "Remember?" Well? ”
Forcing his son to bow his head and whisper, "I have stopped eating fruit..."
It was hard to wait for the meal to start, and before he could eat two bites, Tian Yulan let his son perform pi in public. The child's voice became a little quieter, and she snapped at him to "make a big noise."
The child carried a long string of expressionless faces like a tool man, and the atmosphere was very awkward.
In the play, we have seen Tian Yulan show such a happy smile more than once.
Her son took the first exam, and she said with a spring breeze on her face:
"Mom was like a facelift today, at least ten years younger."
The son scored a tie for the gold medal class, and seeing that eight or nine could enter the gold medal class, Tian Yulan hugged his son and kissed him fiercely, and smiled closely. She also deliberately set up an honor cabinet at the dining table at home.
The child's grades have become a barometer of Tian Yulan's emotions.
His mother's love suffocated Ziyou, and he believed that his mother did not love himself, but himself with a full score.
When "Little Shedd" continues to broadcast, we see that Ziyou is finally forced to get sick and gradually hallucinates because of too much pressure.
Tian Yulan thinks that "willingness" is to "give up" the joy of children's childhood and "get" the carefreeness of adulthood.
But her "willingness" finally "gave up" the child's healthy psychology, and "got" the child's full of complaints.
There is a saying in "Silent Confessions" that the more parents pay attention to you, the higher the expectations of you, and their care continues to fall on you like snowflakes, eventually crushing you.
Parents who are overly anxious will inevitably raise melancholy children, because they have to bear far beyond their own ability.
Instead of judging, evaluating, and interfering with the child's thinking as an adult, he supports the child with practical actions and gives the choice to himself.
This kind of love is really "good for him".
If you have children, don't let them be too sensible
Some people say that this little girl in the play earned too many tears from them.
What happens to children who are too sensible? Just look at the rice peach.
In the play, Mi Tao's parents always teach her to be sensible, and the most often said to Mi Tao is: "Tao, our whole family can count on you." ”
In the 18th episode of "Little Shed", Mi Tao's parents want to enroll her in a training class because of their child's unsatisfactory grades. But the cost of the training course is too expensive, even if the discount is completed, it will cost 21,000. The Mi Tao family is in trouble, and Mom and Dad have been hesitating and dare not make decisions easily.
Mi Tao's father said to his mother: "You can't stand up straight for eight hours a day, less than 300 yuan." My business is up and down, Mi Tao took a class, and we both did it in vain. At this time, Mi Tao, who was writing her homework, ran over and said, "I can not go, I will work hard, I will always catch up." ”
Mi Tao knows that it is not easy for her parents to earn money, so she does not want to and does not want to, and her parents spend all their money on themselves. It would make her feel guilty and sad. However, in order for the child to grow up, Mi Tao's parents still gritted their teeth and repaid.
Mi Tao, who is distressed about his parents' money, can only keep learning and repay his parents with a good result. Because she knew that she had the hope of her parents on her shoulders. She has to work hard, she has to fight, she has to get ahead.
However, she was too sensible to live happily. The experience of many years of left-behind children has made her personality sensitive and inferior. She doesn't like to talk, and even in front of her good friend Xia Huanhuan, she rarely opens her heart. Looking at the dolls full of joyful cabinets, Mi Tao showed envious eyes.
When Xia Huanhuan asked Mi Tao, "Who is your favorite disney princess?" ”
Mi Tao's answer was, "Snow White." ”
Xia Huanhuan said: "Snow White has something to like, she will not do anything, crying and crying all day, just waiting for the prince to come to her rescue." ”
In fact, what Xia Huanhuan didn't know was that Mi Tao didn't like Snow White. But in her world, she only knew Snow White. Never express grievances easily, and sensibly do not cause trouble to parents.
"Too sensible", she is like carrying a mountain, do not dare to be willful, dare not lose her temper, and dare not tell grievances.
Obviously, it is a wayward age, but it suppresses its emotions and bears the pressure of not belonging to this age.
Mi Tao's performance is like the answer given by netizens in the question "What does a child who lacks self-confidence feel from a young age" below:
Walk very slowly, bow your head, and shrink into a ball when you meet people;
Speak very quietly;
Dare not look at people's faces;
When there are many people, try not to move, not to talk, not to laugh... In fact, no one is born with low self-esteem. Every child with low self-esteem can find the answer from his original family.
Children who are too obedient and sensible have been embarrassed by themselves. If so, hopefully every child will not have to be "sensible". May they have enough security and confidence to express their emotions, not to please others in their lives, and to be only the truest version of themselves.
Scolding is the most failed form of education
Nan Li and Xia Junshan are representatives of the "Buddhist system", as long as the children are happy and happy, they are generally not afraid of learning. They respect their daughter's ideals and strengths, support her dream of becoming a singer and host, and believe that children always have time to play.
Even the child's homeroom teacher said that they were the healthiest parents in the class. The couple advocates quality education and all-round development, believing that children's childhood should be spent happily.
My daughter Huan huan is in the fifth grade, except for her favorite singing and hosting, there is no tutoring class outside the classroom.
They think that the children raised in this way have a cheerful and generous personality and are likeable.
However, the hidden dangers of "happy education" have also erupted one after another in the growth of joy.
After scoring 45 on the math test, the family also began to be sad and miserable, and it was not so happy.
This scene that happened in the play has made countless parents feel sad.
Once, when Xia Junshan was tutoring Huan Huan to write homework, he found that Huan Huan was not good at writing homework when reading comics, and he had done a lot of the problems he had talked about, and Xia Junshan was angry when he saw it, and he was furious with Huan Huan, and scared Huan Huan into crying and vomiting.
Subsequently, Tong Dawei, an actor who played Xia Junshan, posted a long post on Weibo saying that "scolding is the most failed way of education."
He believes that good children are exaggerated, and the company of parents is more conducive to their formation of good living habits and learning habits.
Under this Weibo, the highest number of comments from netizens is this sentence: "When parents continue to scold their children, children will not stop loving their parents, but they will stop loving themselves." ”
Previously, Chen Qiaoen revealed in a show: "When I was a child, I was often beaten by my mother, always living in fear, not knowing how to talk to my mother, afraid that she would beat me." ”
Mentioning that her mother beat her, Chen Qiaoen turned back vigilantly, and the whole person was in a state of high tension stress, confirming that her mother was not there, and only then was she relieved.
Under this strict discipline method, Chen Qiaoen became withdrawn and autistic when he grew up, and his academic performance plummeted; after his debut, because he was not good at communication, he was once misunderstood as "the queen of stinky faces" and "playing big cards".
Scolding and yelling at children does have an immediate effect, but if you keep using punishment, the child's immunity will become stronger and stronger, before only 5 sentences of yelling, and then 10 sentences of yelling to be effective. In the long run, it will have a great impact on the child's personality and psychology.
Most of these "side effects" are gradually revealed after the child reaches adulthood and enters the society, and it will be too late to regret it!
As parents, we can give our children the right guidance, but we need to respect their children's feelings and choose the most suitable educational method for their children.
Whether it is "Tiger Mother" Tian Yulan or "Buddhist" Nanli, in fact, they are trying their best to give their children the best things.
It's just that everything is too late, and happiness and learning are not an either-or choice.
Good education does not allow children to frame themselves in the same standard.
Moderate pressure can stimulate children's desire to challenge and gain a sense of accomplishment, but too much pressure will crush the child's life.
What we can do is to teach according to the child's own characteristics and growth laws, and adjust it in a timely manner.
May every child have a happy childhood!
Transferred from: China Education News, source | Ten Point Book Club, Youth Digest, Growth Tree, First Education and other image sources | "Little Shed" TV series
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