The child brought out by such a mother is the most pitiful, how much influence does the mother have on the child?

George Herbert once said, "A good mother is worth a hundred teachers." ”

The role of mother plays a vital role in the growth of each of us.

Physiologically, our mother gave us life and helped us start the chapter of our lives.

Psychologically, our mother taught us how to behave and helped us improve our personality.

Are you among the moms who are "terrible" enough to suffocate their children?

1. The vanity of comparison

In the past two days, the popular "Little Shed" has exploded on major social platforms, and tian Yulan's (Jiang Xin) "love" for her son in the play has also triggered a heated discussion among netizens.

Let's take a look at Tian Yulan's strict management of his son: Ziyou ate a piece of watermelon, tian Yulan immediately made eyes at his son, and began the "harm of eating sweets" propaganda meeting, scaring the child from opening his mouth.

Not only did he not let him eat, Tian Yulan also had to take the English words of his son's various fruits with him.

It was hard to survive to eat, and the children could not escape the stage of the show.

Huan Huan was named to perform the song, Nan Li played the pipa to accompany him, and Tian Yulan was afraid that his son would fall, and quickly sent Zi You to recite Pi.

The talent competition is over, and the results are indispensable.

At the dinner table, Tian Yulan showed off his children's grades, saying "Versailles", and also asked huan huan about the test results.

Parents want their children to be better and harder working, so that they can constantly compare themselves with other children.

And this kind of "comparison" brings a lot of pressure to children and parents, and the "inner volume" of education makes everyone become anxious and physically and mentally exhausted, and a large part of the reason is because of the vanity of parents.

2. A mother with a strong desire for control

Song Qian, the mother in "Little Joy", has a desire to control her daughter Qiao Yingzi, which really makes people feel suffocated.

How much control does she have over her child?

At the college entrance examination oath ceremony, her daughter Yingzi wrote the wish of "China National Space Administration" on the balloon, but her mother felt that "Tsinghua Peking University" was the biggest wish.

She forced her daughter to change the score of 700 points in the college entrance examination, and Tsinghua university and Peking University chose one.

Control the child's diet, junk food is prohibited, and you must drink a variety of healthy medicinal foods made by yourself every day.

In order to better supervise the children, the wall in the daughter's bedroom was transformed into transparent glass.

Faced with such a desire to control, in the end, Hideko can only choose to jump into the sea to get rid of her mother.

Mothers with strong control, love to give too much, so that children have no freedom and dreams, such a sense of engulfment makes children suffocate.

All kinds of control, confinement, and intervention will make the child feel as if this is not a home, but a cell.

Personality also becomes cowardly, introverted, and socially fearful, and as an adult, it needs to be extremely difficult to adjust and hone yourself to get rid of the shackles of personality.

Even if you stand in your thirties and become a father or mother, this shadow from your mother and your inner inferiority are still buried deep in your heart.

3, do not know how to control emotions of the mother

Remember the "Wuhan boy jumped off a building and fell to his death after being beaten by his mother" on Weibo's hot search?

The cause of the incident is simple: the child plays poker with his classmates at school, the teacher calls the child's parents to the school to "educate", and his mother slaps the boy twice in a very angry state.

The child could not think for a moment, turned around and jumped from the upper floor.

The surveillance video of just a few minutes shocked me.

The most heart-wrenching thing to watch was the two minutes after the mother left, and the boy stood alone in the corridor for two minutes.

I can't imagine what was going on in the boy's mind two minutes before he jumped, and what gave him the "courage" to "turn around and jump".

Emotions are transitive, and once the mother's emotions are agitated, the child will also become uneasy.

The mother's bad emotions are thorns in the child's heart, and this thorn will prick the child's body.

Don't be a "cloudy" mother, try to surround your child with love, so that you can raise a child who is physically and mentally sound.

4) Maybe we can try to do this

A child's growth is uncontrollable.

Treat the child as an independent individual, respect the child's heart, treat him seriously, feel the child with the heart, and let the child grow up confidently.

Communication is a good medicine to alleviate and regulate the parent-child relationship, good communication can make the relationship between parents and children more harmonious, and education become easier.

Try to accept your child's emotions, understand their needs, help them solve problems, and trust them to be capable of handling everything.

Moms let go of their children to fly, all say that love is letting go, their potential needs to be exercised, they need space to think independently.

Parenthood is a subject that requires a lifetime of study.

Pay more attention to your own words and deeds, be responsible for your children, and be responsible for yourself.

Don't humiliate your partner in front of your child, don't argue in front of your child, and give your child a warm home.

Give the child more smiles, the mother's smile is actually to convey to the child is a kind of love power, can make the child full of confidence on the road to growth.