Text/Gao Xiaolan
Figure / source network, irrelevant to the text, invasion and deletion
-
As the saying goes: "Thirty and standing, forty not confused, fifty know the destiny." ”
Sometimes, we often lament that life is really not easy. When I was young, I always thought that the more things I had, the better, so I chased desperately and constantly consumed myself.
But in middle age, we found that the more we go down this road of life, the more we must learn to do "subtraction" and reduce the pressure on our own souls.
From the enthusiastic and energetic youth to the mature and stable middle age, we have tasted the warmth and coldness of human feelings and experienced the vicissitudes of the world. Therefore, after middle age, we must learn to put away these four things!
Take care of it
As the saying goes, "There is a kind of worry, called the worry of parents." ”
Children do not eat parents worry, children go out to work parents bother, children have a partner parents worry, in the eyes of parents, even if the children start a family, it is still a child.
It is right for parents to care about their children, but excessive worry will cause you to be tired and your children to be tired.
In the TV series "Little Joy", Song Qian, played by Tao Hong, is a suffocating mother, and her all-round control makes her daughter Qiao Yingzi feel depressed.
She doesn't let Hideko play her favorite Lego because it will affect the college entrance examination; she lets Hideko and the medicinal soup she doesn't like because it's good for her body; she also installs a monitoring window for Hideko's room just to supervise her daughter's every move in the room...
Song Qian, who arranged everything for Ying Zi, never knew what Ying Zi really wanted in her heart.
Later, When Eiko was about to jump into the sea because of her depression, she was still saying, "Mommy is all for your own good" "Why do you have to go to that Nanda?" ”
And Hideko shouted with all her might, saying her heart: "You have always decided my life based on your own ideas!" "Have you ever wondered what I really want in my heart?"
Song Qian in the play is actually the epitome of thousands of anxious parents, and the self-righteous "good for you" of parents may only be a heavy shackle for children, locking their hands and feet, and also locking their dreams.
In just a few decades of life, we must always maintain a normal heart, do not interfere too much in the lives of children, and let them live a real life according to their own ideas!
We must always remember: "Children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren." ”
As a middle-aged person, please put away the extra worries, give your children some free space, and you will find that everything is slowly getting better!
Complained by it
In this life, people will encounter many things, if we always infinitely enlarge some unsatisfactory small things, then it is ourselves that are hurt.
As the saying goes: "In this world, there are many things that are not accustomed to it, and complaining will only make you hurt; resentment will only make you lose your tolerance." ”
It is true that habitual complaining cannot change the status quo, but will make the resentment accumulate deeper and deeper, and only by putting away the complaint can we enjoy a good life.
As we all know, Shi Yuzhu was a big man in the business world in China in the late 1980s.
In just three years, he earned 35 million yuan in a principal of 4,000 yuan and founded Zhuhai Giant High-Tech Group.
However, the good times did not last long, because of his arrogance and conceit, coupled with the broken capital chain of the Giant Group, Shi Yuzhu not only lost all his money, but also owed 250 million yuan in debt, becoming China's "first loss".
Even so, Shi Yuzhu did not collapse, he began to face his own problems, read all the articles criticizing him, and analyzed the reasons for his failure, summing up the experience in countless insults.
In the end, after more than ten years of ups and downs, Shi Yuzhu once again founded his own business empire, and at this time, he also had a little more calm and indifferent.
There is a saying in the Cai Gen Tan: "After defeat or success, so do not let go of the Buddha's heart." ”
It means that after encountering failure, it will make people successful, so when you are at a low point, don't choose to give up.
The ups and downs of life are a normal, but some people can't stand the loneliness of the trough, but only by climbing out of the trough can we become stronger.
When people reach middle age, please put away the incessant complaints. Since we can't change the facts that have become a reality, it is better to change our mentality and smile at life with a peaceful attitude, and the troubles will disappear.
Put away the comparison
In daily life, the most common phenomenon is comparison.
If you are inferior to others, you will find trouble for yourself, but blind comparison will make us deviate from the original direction, and eventually lose ourselves, only by understanding the content, can we always be happy.
There is a phenomenon in psychology called: "Peacock Psychology"
The meaning is that in order to show the most beautiful side of the peacock to others, it will always open the tail feather, although it is stunning and moving, but it is suspected of showing off.
Once heard such a story:
In the 1990s, "Mr. Pambi" saw that the neighbor's house had built a very beautiful small Western-style building, so he demolished the old building in his family, and as a result, the construction team did not build it, and he could only build a grass hut next to the neighbor's new house.
At the age when he should have been blessed, he compared his daughter-in-law with the famous single stick in the village, and he has been alone ever since.
One day, he heard an old man in the village say that he would die before "Mr. Pambi".
So he went to the village grocery store and bought two packs of rat poison. Before he died, he also left a message for the old man: "I finally left before you."
Mr. Panbi's story, can't help but make people sigh, if everyone is intoxicated with comparison, it will only make themselves into a situation of constant comparison and victory, and life will be a lot less fun.
When people reach middle age, they must not compare with others, a family and harmony, good health, is the greatest wealth; do not compare with others material, money is enough to spend, the house is enough to live on the line, simply is happiness.
Carnegie once said: "Many of the troubles in life come from blindly comparing ourselves with others and forgetting to enjoy our own lives." ”
Yes, many people are unhappy in life, not because their lives are not good, but because they are jealous that the people around them are better than themselves, but as everyone knows, while you envy others, others are also envious of you.
Put away your desires
Confucius said: No desire for speed, no small profit. If you want to be fast, you will not achieve it, and if you see small profits, you will not succeed in big things.
No matter what we do, we must grasp the scale, and seeking speed will not achieve results; seeking profit will not be able to do great things.
There are times when each of us has a desire to indulge, but when we look back, we see:
The happiness that desire brings us is temporary, and in the long run, it is more of a pain, which can not only drag down the body, but even ruin life.
Academician Yuan Longping, the father of hybrid rice, has countless titles, but his life is very simple.
Usually, when Shimoda did experiments, he always rode a bicycle and rarely took a car. Going to the supermarket to buy clothes is mostly dozens of shirts, and he feels that he can eat enough and wear warm clothes.
In fact, it is not that Elder Yuan has no money, but he can control his desires and not covet material enjoyment, and he only does one thing in his life, that is, to make the people of the whole country no longer hungry.
When he received the National Science and Technology Award, 1 million yuan, he did not hesitate to donate to scientific research; when he got the World Food Award, 125,000 US dollars, he also resolutely donated it.
For the so-called fame and fortune, Yuan Laoyi laughed at it, for him, the biggest wish is to be able to realize the "dream of cooling under the grass" and "the dream of covering the world with miscellaneous rice." ”
Chen Daoming said: "I think temperance is the greatest enjoyment of life, the release of materials and the release of spirit are very easy, but what is rare is moderation. ”
Indeed, desire is the source of suffering, and if you ask for something, you will suffer. People who can't control their desires will sink deeper and deeper, eventually leading themselves to hell.
When people reach middle age, please put away too much desire. If we are always blessed with indulgence, then the rest of our lives will be led by desire, and only by controlling our desires can our minds be truly free.
Jiang Wen once made such a definition for "middle age":
"Middle age is an age of laughter, not only to please the elderly, but also to be a good example for their children, and constantly cater to the minds of their superiors."
In order to make a living, we seem to be like a top, constantly rotating, but when people reach middle age, it is not fame and status, but who can walk more steadily and longer.
Put away our worries, our lives will be easier;
Put away the complaints, and our lives will be smoother;
Put away the comparison, our lives will be more content;
Put away our desires, and our lives will be more solid.
When people reach middle age, may each of us live healthily, love happily, and live every day for the rest of our lives!