Finally ushered in the opening of the school, parents shouldered a heavy burden.
The new semester results face a reshuffle, which is a child's opportunity; but everything is difficult at the beginning, if the beginning of the school entry state is too slow, a semester can only drive in the slow lane.
Lack of rules, reshape the awareness of family rules.
Lack of companionship, communicate effectively (not nagging).
In the new semester, parents should be the best coaches for their children, and manage and teach their children well.
01
Discipline first, then self-conscious
The reason why a child is a child is that he has no self-consciousness, and you cannot really establish his self-awareness.
This does not mean to demean the child in the slightest.
Children can consciously eat, drink and have fun, but they cannot learn consciously.
Because the manifestation of animal nature is instinctive and effortless, the performance of human nature requires a certain amount of rationality and willpower, and it takes a little hardship to form a habit.
Therefore, the establishment of children's self-consciousness requires a long and complex process.
If education is normal, self-consciousness must be at least fifteen or sixteen years old before it can be initially established.
Until then, children cannot learn consciously, and must have the company, supervision and discipline of adults.
Confucius's "ten and five and as far as learning", at the age of fifteen can be seen as the initial establishment of Confucius's self-consciousness, from which he can learn independently.
Mencius also skipped school when he was a teenager, but as soon as he entered the door when he returned home, he was stunned by his mother's thunderous action - "broken machine", and has been obediently studying ever since.
The child is essentially a sensual emotional being, where does he have so much self-consciousness and self-control?
The child has no reason, and when his behavior exceeds the norm, he will never be rational if no one points it out to him and corrects it.
The child is weak-willed, and when he encounters difficulties and wants to retreat, if no one encourages him or forces him to do it, he will always be weak-willed.
The child needs proper coercion, which is not an oppression of him, but a time when he is weak-willed to help him overcome difficulties and gain a high level of experience, so that he becomes stronger.
If a child grows up and lives in an environment without any coercion, he will never be able to grow.
Although he has grown up, his mind must still be at the level of a child, and he cannot withstand any setbacks.
As long as you train at the right time, the child will feel relaxed because you train him!
If you see a "self-conscious" child, it is mostly the result of long-term parental companionship, proper supervision and strict discipline.
The child is like this, he needs the discipline of his parents, he must be guided by his parents to truly be born with self-motivation and become a positive and optimistic person.
02
Managing children is always in the details
The same learning environment, the same teacher, the same learning partner, why can there be such a big gap in the grades of children in a class?
The gap between children is due to the difference in family environment and educational atmosphere, and it is widening little by little.
Children's habits, will, and mentality are closely related to family education, and every child's excellent back is soaked with the sweat of parents.
Only when family education plays a major role, school education can play a role in icing on the cake.
In the popular TV series "Little Joy", Fang Yifan and Ying Zi, who are in the same class, have different grades.
Fang Yifan because of poor grades, was suggested by the teacher to repeat the grade for a year, Tong Wenjie was so angry that he scolded his son, and then he was anxious to find a good girlfriend, Yingzi's mother Song Qian, hoping that she could help her son analyze the grades and tutor his homework.
Song Qian said that she didn't know to worry about it for a long time, and now she began to worry.
Tong Wenjie said, why didn't I worry? If his grades are not good, I will spend money to find a teacher for him, which is still called not worrying?
Ying Zi's mother has always been conscientious in Ying Zi's study.
She personally tutored her daughter's homework, used big data to analyze her daughter's grade changes, Yingzi's good grades, and how much Song Qian's hard work there was.
In life, many parents are tong Wenjie, always think that when the child is not learning well, they will find a teacher for the child, and the child will teach the child a lesson if the test is poor.
Always bitterly ask the child to study well, let the child be self-conscious, they think that this is the child's learning.
But the fact is that children are children, their self-discipline is very poor, few children can control themselves, do not expect children to be self-conscious, more is the need for parental restraint.
Children who have never been born self-conscious, only parents who have been with them for a long time.
Behind every excellent child, it is inseparable from the "fierce heart" of parents.
No knowledge or skill needs to be acquired through long-term tedious practice and perseverance.
When the child does not want to write homework; when the child does not want to practice the piano; when the child does not want to adhere to good habits, what parents have to do is to actively guide and encourage, and even force the child to do it, so that the child understands the meaning of learning and persistence, rather than resigned.
Parents' intolerance in their children's education is actually evading responsibility.
And every responsibility that parents evade in their children's education may face the risk of doubling down in the future; and every effort parents put in raising their children may be doubly compensated in the future.
03
Parents in the new semester have hurried to change their identities
Adjust yourself to a farmer – a little more carefully
Let's start by thinking of ourselves as farmers.
The family is the soil, and the children are the seeds we sow.
Seeds need to be carefully planted, fertilized, weeded, medicated, and harvested.
Of course, we can't pick up seedlings to promote growth, we must study, observe, understand the law of "seed" growth, avoid rushing to achieve quick success, rush to achieve results, harm children without knowing it.
Adjust yourself to a barber – be a little more ruthless
A good barber is always bold and decisive with delicate caution, and boldness and meticulous craftsmanship are complemented.
As a parent, in view of the child's unwillingness to get up early and unwilling to do problems, it is also necessary to think holistically: Why are children unwilling to sit quietly and spend time thinking about problems?
If it is the cause of the child's own inertia, we need to be like a barber, bold, fierce, the rules of the rules.
Fixing mistakes like a hairdresser fixing hair and fixing them with care is the unshirkable responsibility of our parents!
Adjust yourself to a magician – a little more perseverance
The magician is characterized by excellent psychological quality, fast hand movements, some physical, chemical and other professional knowledge, good at using props or techniques to make the impossible possible.
Quietly examine your child: Is he conscious or unconscious? In what ways is he poor and what are the reasons for the difference? What kind of help does he need from us?
After the analysis, then formulate a counterattack plan, a little more perseverance, please believe:
With your child in your care, it will change miraculously!
04
Parental execution
It is the key to the child's counterattack
1. Awareness: Organize a family meeting
The whole family holds a family meeting to help the child review the winter vacation learning process, rationally analyze the gains and losses during this time, and self-correct.
2. Dream: Reset a complete goal
Help your child to look back on their dreams, and in order to achieve this dream, make corresponding long-term goals, medium-term goals, short-term goals, and think about what kind of actions can make the goals visible.
3. Commitment: Negotiate a deed of action
Parents and children jointly agree on a family-wide action contract, what each person does, how to reward what is done, how to punish if they are not, and truly implemented.
4. Boldness: The Great Cleanup of Electronic Products
Electronic products, game tools, etc. that affect children's minds are cleaned up once, kept by parents, and set a time limit for play.
5. Communication: Read your child's emotions
Due to some special experiences and feelings, some children may feel "anxious" or even "afraid" about going to school, parents should do a good job of communication and guidance, understand these emotions generated by children, analyze the causes, and give targeted encouragement and support.
6. Biological Clock: A work and rest time for the whole family
Many children have formed bad living habits such as late sleep and late rise during the holidays, if they are not adjusted in time, the first month of school usually has a state of inattention and poor spirits, which affects the child's learning adaptation.
Parents may wish to implement a unified schedule with their children, get up on time together, turn off the lights at the point of the whole family, and use regular schedules to better adapt to the intense study life of the new semester.
7. Companionship: Be an auditor
Sit next to your child and learn with your child to learn what is going on in class. Let the child see the seriousness and concentration of parents' learning and play a role in teaching by example.
8. Positive feedback: One minute of efficiency every day
In order to close the parent-child relationship, you can come to a "one-minute listening, one-minute praise, one-minute encouragement, one-minute correction" every day, and praise the child's advantages when it is found, and guide the child's problems when it is found.
9. Supervision: One major inspection per day
Insist on checking children's homework every day, viewing group information, paying attention to children's performance, and honoring family contracts.
Society is very realistic and cruel, more often than not the survival of the fittest, but the survival of the strong.
We can't protect our children for a lifetime.
Discipline your child to become a strong person, and when they grow up, they must be grateful for all the "desperate feelings" you have ever had.
There is no towering pine growing in the pot, and there is no horse in the courtyard. The current "forced" and "managed" are just another form of help.
Education is to make children become better people, let children live a more ideal life, and let children have more choices in the future.
May every child have the courage to conquer the sea of stars in the future.
May every child have the feelings to count the stars in the future.
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The current "forced" and "managed" are actually paying and helping.
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