What should I do if my child is often bullied by his classmates?
A few days ago, I brushed to have a mother share her handling methods, which is of great reference significance.
This mother's son has just entered the first grade, because of his wooden nature, and some habits of "going against the grain", he has been repeatedly bullied by his classmates, especially the female classmates at the same table.
Once he put the painting he had just drawn on his desk, and when he returned from outside, he found that he had been scribbled by the same table, and he could no longer see the original traces.
After returning home from school in the afternoon, Bao Mom saw her son hanging his head and learned the origin of the matter, not only did she "hate iron not steel", but also couldn't help but be a little worried: how to teach children to resist reasonably, no longer be pinched by people as "soft persimmons"?
Whoever becomes the child finally proposes a solution to solve the problem independently.
Mom supports and encourages and helps children solve problems independently
Before going to bed at night, the mother and son found the "top pillar" of the family and asked if dad had any good way.
Like many fathers, Dad gave a series of "rationalization" suggestions: first warn the table not to bully yourself, if you are still being bullied, you must fight back forcefully, make things bigger, let the teacher deal with it, if the teacher is perfunctory, go home and tell Mom and Dad, don't worry.
The son said helplessly: "I have already told the same table, but it does not work, and the teacher did not see her bullying me." ”
Although Bao Mom is anxious, she finds that her child does not agree with her parents' opinions and may already have her own ideas.
So under the guidance of questions, Bao Mom learned that the original child was ready to "change the same table": he wanted to sit with some of his favorite and familiar male classmates, such as Xiaoming, whom he knew when he was entrusted before.
For her son's idea, Bao Mom immediately affirmed, and gave encouragement and suggestions, telling him to obtain the consent of Xiaoming and other classmates in advance when changing seats.
When school was over the next day, before he entered the door, his son said to bao mom very proudly: "I have completely solved the problem!" ”
It turned out that the son found Xiaoming, but the other party did not agree to change the seat, so he found the teacher again and explained the situation, and the teacher quickly called the same table to "confront him face to face".
In the face of the teacher's inquiry, the same table generously admitted the mistake, and also made a promise not to bully the classmates in the future, and in order to prevent the other party from "talking does not count", the son also found the front desk "Xiaoping" to witness and solve the problem perfectly.
When a child is bullied, it is important for parents to respond
Children are bullied, and many parents, in addition to being distressed, often have some anger: Why is their baby "incompetent" and will not resist?
Some parents will even ignore their children's feelings and sprinkle salt on their children's wounds to bring him secondary harm.
For children, when they are bullied and helpless, seeking help from their parents actually represents a kind of recognition, and they are eager to be protected and supported by their parents and get enough security and belonging.
In this regard, this mother's approach is very correct: although she sees her child being bullied, she is helpless and anxious about his "cowardice", but she does not show any negative emotions.
For her son's help, Bao Mom gave the most positive response: find a way to teach the child to learn to resist reasonably, find the father with the child, and the family of three came up with a "perfect solution".
Especially when the child does not agree with the father's approach, she is also keenly aware that the child has his own ideas, and guides the child to speak out in time, gives encouragement and support, and invisibly becomes the child's most solid and reliable ally, and finally helps the child solve practical problems.
Parents are the backing, is the child's greatest courage
I remember seeing a mother asking for help on a certain hu:
"The child was bullied at school, and I kept letting her find the reason from herself, is that wrong?"
In the mother's description, the daughter is inferior, cowardly, isolated by her roommates, and found that she has some depression, but she does not believe it, thinking that her daughter should first reflect on herself.
Here's a high-ranking answer that goes something like this:
"If she had a parent who believed in her unconditionally and stood by her side, she wouldn't have emitted that kind of bullying magnetic field, and she wouldn't have been bullied outside."
Indeed, whether a child has confidence and courage, the key lies in the environment in which she grew up, the education she received, and whether she can feel the continuous love and attention of her parents.
In the book "The Road Few People Walk", it is mentioned: "Those children who are bathed in the love of their parents can develop soundly in their hearts." ”
If parents only see the timid and cowardly side of their children, and never think about whether they give them enough love and whether they have become the backing of their children, the children will naturally become sensitive and vulnerable, even if they are bullied, they dare not seek the help of their parents, but will only be afraid, depressed, trapped in difficulties, and feel that there is no one behind them.
When a child is bullied, we must be like the boy's mother, be a solid backing for the child, and give the child the courage to resist with support and encouragement.
And children feel the support of their parents, in order to naturally produce self-confidence, from the bottom of their hearts feel protected, to be cared for, to develop a healthy and perfect personality, no longer afraid of others bullying.
Crooked Mom Conclusion:
When a child is bullied, the way parents respond is crucial.
I hope that everyone can give the child a positive response, help him wear the armor of love with encouragement and support, and have the backing of parents, so that the child has the courage to dare to say "no" to the bully.
Today's topic: What do you do when your child is bullied?
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