Mr. Chen brought his wife over for psychological counseling because of marital problems.
The wife is 29 years old and is a full-time housewife. She had trouble getting out of bed in the morning, often lazy to freshen up, didn't want to talk, and sometimes shed tears inexplicably. Late at night, when people are quiet, they start to make a fuss, watching TV, playing mobile phones, playing games until late at night, as if they don't need sleep.
A few months ago, she went to the gym to get a two-year card, and since then she has been there every afternoon. Mr. Chen felt very strange, why does the gym have such a strong attraction? Thinking that she usually ignores her love for herself, sometimes cold, sometimes irritable, he wonders if his wife is cheating?
In order to confirm his suspicions, he secretly checked her mobile phone, and even made a surprise attack, going to the gym to find her, but only to see her sweating and exercising, or talking happily with different people, and sometimes listening to music with a relaxed face, and did not find any trace of cheating.
Despite this, he still could not dispel the suspicion that his wife was cheating, and he asked his wife not to go to the gym again, and the wife insisted that she was innocent, that exercise was good for her health, and that she could make herself happy and insisted on going.
The couple got into a lot of trouble because of this matter, but no matter what Mr. Chen said, his wife still insisted on going every day.
It wasn't until I came to the psychological counseling, and the counselor made an assessment and diagnosis, that things came to light.
It turned out that my wife was suffering from bipolar disorder (bipolar disorder).
The symptoms are sometimes high emotions, excitement, talking, thinking quickly, feeling particularly good about themselves, seeing everything around them full of life, full of hope, thinking and planning, and feeling that their brains have become smarter and more flexible.
Sometimes they are depressed, don't want to talk, are tired, can't lift their spirits, think slowly, and don't want to do anything. In severe cases, they will blame themselves, shed tears for no reason, and even self-harm or suicide.
The patient's mood is often more obvious cyclical, mania and depression repeat repeats, the manic period feels like standing on the top of the world, the depressed period as if the whole body is caught by a black hole, and sometimes mixed seizures.
During the consultation, she learned that her wife felt that she was living a roller coaster-like life every day - the emotional moment fluctuated between the two poles, and this feeling of suddenly rising into the air and suddenly falling into the abyss really made her miserable.
For most of the years, especially in the morning, the mood is very low, there are many negative thoughts and feelings, I am not interested in anything, I feel tired when I lie down, like a collapsed wall is falling on her, the whole body can't move, and the strong sense of depression makes her breathless, can't stand it but can't escape.
In the afternoon, her mood will improve. She is afraid that she is in a low mood, but as long as she goes to the gym, during the exercise, sweating, she feels particularly relaxed, even if she does not exercise, staying in the gym also feels comfortable.
In sports, sometimes she feels that her brain reacts quickly, feels that she has endless strength, although she is full of sweat, she always feels that she can continue to exercise.
If the manic period is heaven, then the depression period is hell.
She never knew when she would suddenly fall from heaven to hell, nor did she know if she would be thinking about how to end herself one second and feel that she could transform the world the next.
Therefore, fitness has become her "life-saving straw", in order to keep herself in a state of euphoria for a longer time, avoid falling into trouble and despair, she will try to stay in the gym.
In the process of counseling, the wife faced the fact that she was sick, took the initiative to learn about bipolar disorder, and had a more objective understanding of bipolar disorder.
Bipolarity has the characteristics of two-level swing, resulting in emotional disorders, so how to treat, process, and regulate your emotions and feelings is a course that needs to be learned. In this regard, the counselor gave unconditional companionship and support, guided her to adjust her cognition, manage emotions, improve the relationship between husband and wife, parent-child relationship, insist on writing emotional diaries, and learn to learn, work and live with emotions.
After Mr. Chen learned about his wife's bipolar situation, he was both relieved, guilty, and more distressed. For the previous misunderstanding, Mr. Chen carefully apologized to her, learned that his wife is helping himself through fitness, he expressed to his wife, he will fully support her in the future, if his wife is willing, he will also accompany his wife to work out after work.
In addition, under the guidance of psychological counselors, Mr. Chen actively pays attention to and attaches importance to his wife's emotions, helps his wife to accept himself, usually pays attention to reducing conflicts with his wife, creates a warm family environment, and tries not to stimulate his wife's emotions. It also gave her more care, thoughtfulness and tolerance, and encouraged her to insist on psychological counseling to improve her bipolar disorder.
Slowly, when the wife has emotional problems and troubles, she can be aware of the symptoms, will take the initiative and consciously help herself, such as timely psychological counseling; such as low, uncomfortable, do not want to talk, do not like to wash their face and dress up, do not force themselves; allow themselves to stay in low emotions for a while, than deliberately avoid the emergence of low emotions, they will be relatively relaxed.
Of course, she can also improve her state by diverting her attention, such as fitness, running, handicrafts, music, etc., to focus on the current activities.
◆ This article is the original article of teacher Li Jianxue, without permission to use, the company reserves the right to investigate according to law.
Li Jianxue
Chief expert of the Psychological Counseling Center
Member of the Psychological Counselor Professional Committee of Guangdong Mental Health Association
Senior Marriage Counselor
Senior Family Education Instructor
Sexual counselor
Senior hypnotist