In this era of involution, "high anxiety" is a true portrayal of many parents.
From the 80s of last century to the 10 years after the millennium, the mainland's economy developed rapidly, and there were many opportunities in front of the public. Those who dare to explore, be diligent and pragmatic, are likely to seize the opportunity, follow the times, and even successfully achieve a class leap.
However, in the past 10 years, the growth rate of mainland economic development has slowed down, especially under the crazy suppression of the United States, and it is also facing the problem of industrial upgrading, coupled with the 3 years of the epidemic has brought a huge blow to all walks of life, many young and middle-aged people who are old and young have felt heavy economic pressure, and many people have lost their jobs and cut off their economic resources.
After the official liberalization of epidemic prevention measures, the economy has recovered. At first, many people had high expectations for the post-pandemic economy, but soon found that many industries still need a long time to recover, and the economic recovery is not as optimistic as expected.
In addition to financial anxiety, children's education is another source of anxiety for many parents.
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From the moment their children set foot in school, many parents' anxiety has never stopped. "Kindergarten to elementary school", "elementary to junior high school", middle school entrance examination and college entrance examination are all difficult hurdles for these parents, and each level must be "carefully calculated" to help children make the "best choice" as much as possible. They are afraid that if the child falls behind at which level, he will never be able to catch up again.
Now that artificial intelligence is developing rapidly, the advent of ChatGPT has made these parents more anxious. What subject expertise, interests and hobbies to cultivate children from an early age, so that children will not be easily eliminated by artificial intelligence in the future? What major to choose in college, so that children can find a job in the era of artificial intelligence?
These parents are full of strength, from the kindergarten stage of their children, to provide their children with the best educational resources within their ability, and strive to pave the way for their children, hoping that their children can suffer less hardships and make fewer detours in the future.
The starting point of these parents is well-intentioned, they are out of father's love, mother's love, and hope that their children can have a happy life. However, if these parents are overly anxious, too demanding, and the methods adopted are not scientific, it is likely to backfire.
For example, once the child's performance in writing homework and exams does not meet the parents' expectations, the parents will immediately be anxious, irritable, angry, and strictly require the child to correct, reflect, and even rudely belittle the child.
Sometimes the child just gets one or two questions wrong, but this part of the parents immediately catastrophically thinks catastrophically, criticizes the child for "how can it not even do this", and then boils down to the child not careless, not working hard, and finally adding more practice to the child. If the child wants to explain and refute it, the parents may also rise to the moral height, accusing the child of rebellion, filial piety, not motivated, and not understanding the parents' good intentions.
I hope that this part of the parents will realize that if we are easily anxious and often in a state of high anxiety, it probably means that we have an obsessive personality that pursues perfection. Such parents are easy to nitpick in the aspects they care about, and it is difficult to self-control negative emotions such as irritability, worry, and anger, which are invisibly transmitted to their children, and even cause psychological trauma to children.
As the psychological trauma suffered by children continues to accumulate, their grades do not rise as parents expect, but begin to decline, and learning disabilities appear, which are manifested as difficulty concentrating when studying, being very nervous before exams, and feeling afraid and anxious as soon as they go to school.
At the same time, children may also suffer from mental and psychological disorders such as depression and bipolar disorder, which in turn forms a vicious circle with learning disabilities, and the child finally stops school at home. In the clinical diagnosis and treatment of mental and psychological disorders, such adolescents are very, very common.
Therefore, parents' high anxiety is not only harmful to their own mental and physical health, but also affects their children's growth, learning and mental and physical health. Parents should learn to identify their own mental and psychological state, improve their awareness of negative emotions and cope with them.
In the following video, we have listed 6 major manifestations of "high anxiety parents", you can compare to see if you belong to this category.
Related video: Parents with high anxiety often have 6 major manifestations, and you need to understand the psychological roots behind it before alleviating anxiety
Now is the era of digital planet, the Internet has greatly driven the development of self-media, we can obtain information very conveniently, we can understand the development of the times, broaden our horizons, and understand the broader world without leaving home.
However, on the other hand, the development of the Internet may also increase the anxiety of some parents. For example, some self-media continue to "sell" anxiety to parents for profit purposes; When some parents see their friends "drying babies", they can't help but compare their children with other people's children, and it is easy to soar anxiety.
In fact, parents hope that their children will become adults and stand out in society in the future, and this wish is worthy of affirmation. The positive spirit of self-improvement, courage to forge ahead, and striving for the top is worth advocating. However, parents can not only be anxious, but also continue to learn, improve their cognitive boundaries, especially to master the laws that can really help children become adults, and use scientific methods to help children.
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However, in reality, many parents are trying in the wrong direction, they are just desperately trying to send their children to better schools, but they do not really know how to educate their children.
We will launch a series of related videos, combining the practical experience of multidisciplinary diagnosis and treatment (MDT) and my personal experience, to share some specific suggestions with this "high anxiety" parents who have not mastered scientific family education methods.
There is a saying in the movie "The Godfather": People who can see through the essence of things in half a second and people who spend their whole lives unable to see the essence of things are destined to have completely different fates.
Many times, anxiety comes from ignorance. It is hoped that parents can calm down to broaden their cognitive boundaries, take the initiative to see the inner nature of things, get rid of the control of "high anxiety" emotions, and lead their children to learn to control their own destiny.