"We spend our whole lives trying to get rid of the expectations of others and find our true selves."
- "Silent Confession"
"Silent Confession" is a novel by American writer Wu Qishi. It takes the form of flashbacks and interludes, opening with Lydia's death and uncovering the truth step by step. The book creates vivid characters around Lydia: James, a Chinese father who has always been subjected to racial discrimination, Marilyn, a mother who hopes to achieve something to get rid of sexism, Ness, a gay brother with excellent grades, and Hannah, a "invisible man" sister who is often ignored by her parents.
As the child who most resembled her parents, Lydia became the jewel in their hands, but it was this preference that overwhelmed her. His father was inferior and sensitive because of discrimination, and had few friends, so he hoped that Lydia could make friends; his mother did not realize her dream of becoming a doctor because she got married and had children, and she regretted it for life, so she "transferred" this expectation to Lydia; her closest brother fled the family because of her parents' eccentricity and "betrayed" Lydia; and little transparent Hannah also did not receive attention for a long time because of herself.
Lydia, 16, was overwhelmed. For decades, she had to pretend to be a phone porridge with her best friend every day to prove that she was popular and popular; she had to choose obscure medical courses that she wasn't interested in to please her mother. She carefully "plays" the obedient child that her parents expect, only to lose herself...
She is sensitive, contradictory, and constantly struggling between family affection and self. As if she had become a "puppet", the "love" of her parents had become a shackle that bound her. Eventually, late one night, she rowed a small boat into the lake and drowned.
This is the truth of Lydia's death and a microcosm of contemporary parent-child relationships.
After reading this novel, I felt a long sigh. In recent years, we often hear a word: the original family, I believe that everyone is not unfamiliar, I am also very interested. It is true that the influence of the original family on the individual is subtle and enormous. I believe that many people have heard the words of their parents at home: "I am for your own good". In essence, however, in many cases, parents kidnap their children in the name of "love". Many parents pin their regrets and expectations in life on the next generation, hoping that their children will complete their unfinished dreams and arrange their children clearly, but they ignore what their children really want. This kind of moral kidnapping not only suppresses the nature of the child, but also easily triggers family conflicts, resulting in the parent-child relationship going farther and farther.
"Even the closest people have a forest in their hearts that you can't reach." Everyone is independent, and the closest people are no exception. Parents' expectations should not be a fetter for their children. Let us all become independent individuals, have their own hobbies, thoughts, pursuits, have the right to choose the life they want, and live as they want.