Author / Shiyan cypress and psychological Qu Harrier Qi
Editor/Shiyan Bai and Psychology Zou Yue
Recently, there is a teacher Zhao on the Internet, who claims to be a 33-year senior education expert and a certified positive discipline Satya family therapist in the United States, who has toured more than 1,000 lectures across the country and has 280,000 fans. But his educational methods and rhetoric clearly lack the respect and understanding that children deserve.
He asked a junior high school boy to smash his treasured figurines, he supervised a girl to throw her favorite books into the trash, and he also installed a camera on the child's desk, and also vibrated words, what's the point of playing with these things? You're not a baby, and if you don't get into high school, you'll be done.
Pedagogy believes that hobbies are the best teachers, and psychology also believes that cultivating a child's hobbies can help children support the trivialities and fatigue in life and cultivate his sense of pleasure. Ms. Zhao's approach is contrary to both psychology and pedagogy, and is called bullying education on the Internet.
The reason why bullying education has a market is because some people take advantage of the lack of awareness of many parents about adolescent psychological problems.
For example, the family therapy school in psychology believes that most of the children's problems may be caused by the original family, which means that parents should become an important part of psychotherapy and family therapy, especially the original family must be changed first, which is an important test of parents' cognition, narcissistic experience and patience.
The family of origin has changed first, and this is the experience accumulated in pedagogy and psychology over the past 100 years.
In my psychological counseling work, I always find that some parents ask the psychological counselor to help them directly get their children, but they don't realize that even if the child changes in the counseling room, but the original family environment does not change, the child will still return to the original state after going back. They will go directly to the children for the parents. This may be light-hearted and exciting for parents with some narcissism and low cognitive levels.
In fact, Mr. Zhao's bullying education is not new, there was a Dean Yang who gave electric shocks to children, and a certain academy illegally detained disobedient children, these are all bullying education.
What is even more terrible than these teachers and educational institutions is the parents of these children, who are unwilling to take responsibility, do not want to put in the effort, and are not willing to admit that they have problems, so they spend some money to solve the problem of educating their children.
The education mentioned here may still be in quotation marks, and education should be replaced with control. For example, I just want to get you, but I don't have the strength for the time being, so I find someone to pull the bias, it doesn't matter whether it's reasonable or not, the point is that I want to get it, and I still have to relieve my anger. This kind of bullying education may be able to scare and scare young elementary school students, but it is very likely to cause counter-effects for adolescent children.
You work hard and study just to go out on the weekend or get a certain gift, but there is a person who simply rudely destroys the hope that you want to go out and get a gift, and only asks you to work and study hard, at this time we feel that my hope for work and study is gone, this reward is gone, which may arouse my strong rebellious psychology, and I no longer have such a strong motivation for work and study.
Education and psychology are confronted with people, and as long as they are living people, they are subject to all kinds of complex situations. A simple and crude education can only complicate and worsen the problem.