Relatives, the word is relatively unfamiliar to many people, especially in the young group, often show the phenomenon of resistance to contact, they either feel unnecessary, or feel that the operation of such interpersonal relationships is very time-consuming and energy-consuming, and their own life has been full of various pressures, then the relationship as no blood relations, there is no obligation, there is no responsibility, it is easy to be ignored by young people, or even abandoned.
But in fact, everything is a coexistence of pros and cons, the reason why people can become relatives, not only a kind of clan relationship network, but also a network of relationships formed by the combination of our parents, which has our parents' relatives, although each has its own small family, but to some extent, this is also a big family.
Getting along well with relatives is also a comfort to parents.
Some people may feel that relatives are all interested in relationships, so they will feel resistant in their hearts, but there is no relationship in this world that does not exist in interest relations, the key is to see how we deal with them and how to get along.
No matter how intimate the relationship, you need to have a sense of proportion, which is not a reservation for others, but a kind of respect for others.
After all, the joys and sorrows between people are not the same, it is difficult to achieve 100% empathy, maintain the necessary sense of proportion, for the management of a relationship and maintain a long-term relationship, it is very necessary.
Many times, the reason why relatives disregard family affection and become enemies is because of the lack of a sense of proportion.
If you don't want to be an enemy, please keep your mouth shut about these three things:
01: Income of yourself and your family
Showing off is a common problem for many people, after all, people have vanity.
But not everything can be used to show off, nor can it be shown off on any occasion, many things must be divided into people and occasions, otherwise they will let themselves get into trouble.
Between relatives, it is often easy to have a comparison psychology, in order to prove that they are better than each other and have a better life than each other.
And to prove that you are better off than the other party is that your income is higher than that of the other party.
But casually revealing your and your family's income to relatives often causes trouble for yourself.
If the income is higher than the other party, in addition to attracting jealousy, it will also become the object of borrowing money from the other party;
If the income is lower than the other party, it will become the object of ridicule of the other party, even if the surface is polite and respectful, in fact, deep down in the heart has looked down on you. Either way, it has no good impact on kinship, and it will only make relatives enemies.
Maybe you feel that the other party should really be happy for you, or really understand you and help you, but in fact, it is difficult to do so, because jealousy, comparison, and showing off are all human nature.
Whenever core interests are touched, these human weaknesses erupt, especially in kinship.
Dealing with relatives and keeping a tight liar about their own income and that of their families is not to disbelieve each other, but there is no need to say it.
Live well or badly, bear with yourself, others see only superficial things, there is no need to show off to others to prove their sense of value.
When your heart is full, you will find that what others think of you will not have much impact on you.
02: Conflicts between family members
There is a kind of person who would rather believe in relatives than their own family.
They treat their brothers and sisters as relatives, and their other half, and their children are outsiders, he will leave good food and delicious food to his brothers and sisters, but let his other half and his children eat leftovers, leftovers.
He and his other half, as well as his children, always quarreled at every turn, and never communicated, but he had endless words with his brothers and sisters, and always told his brothers and sisters about the contradictions between himself and his family.
One reader once said to me, "My mother is such a person, no matter how good we are to her, she always puts her relatives first, and she tells her brothers and sisters about the contradictions between our families at every turn."
In her opinion, she is looking for her mother's family to support her, seeking comfort and psychological support, but ignoring our feelings, putting us in the position of being blamed and laughed at by outsiders, and also making our relatives look down on us.
She thought that her relatives would always be by her side and would appear as soon as she had something to do, but in fact, she had something or we cared about and took care of her.
But because of this, her behavior makes us feel very chilled. ”
Conflicts between family members are inevitable, after all, everyone has their own ideas and different needs, but in any case, the contradictions between family members should not be told to relatives.
Maybe you think of your relatives as trustworthy people, feel that the other party can understand you, empathize with you, and give you psychological support, but in fact, the other party can't understand 100%, more is to look down on you and your family, even if you say comforting words on the surface, but deep down you think you are living badly.
In this way, the other party may use the contradictions between your family members as a talking point, which is not only a kind of harm to you, but also to your family, and the final result is not only that relatives become enemies, but also that the family members have an irreparable gap because of this matter.
03: Opinions on the family affairs of relatives
In this world, there is a kind of person who always puts himself in unnecessary trouble, and such a person has a common characteristic, that is, he is too enthusiastic about other people's affairs, and he always feels that he needs to care about each other and give advice to each other, especially between relatives.
Such behavior, said to be good to hear is warm-hearted, in fact, can not be clear.
In real life, the reason why many people become enemies with relatives is because they interfere in each other's family affairs and give each other ideas, and the result is that things are not done, but they become worse, and the other party blames your mistakes on your head, thinking that you provoked the relationship between yourself and your family.
You know, no matter how good your relationship with relatives is, you can't surpass the relationship between the other party and your family, and there is a relationship of interest between the other party and your family, so you must be clear that the other party and your family are a family, and your relatives are all outsiders.
Therefore, do not speak lightly, and do not meddle in the family affairs of relatives.
When asked by the other party, you can give an objective opinion, but do not get caught up in it, and you should return the initiative to the parties.
Whether you really want to help each other out of sincerity, you should restrain yourself, and people who really need your help will definitely take the initiative to come to you, otherwise, your care and help is a kind of disturbance to the other party.
If you do not want to become an enemy in the relationship with relatives, please keep your mouth shut on this matter and do not easily express your opinion.
It's not indifference, it's real cleverness.
conclusion:
Although relatives are not necessarily people with ulterior motives, human nature is complex, and the starting point is different because of different interests.
It is very necessary to maintain a sense of proportion when dealing with relatives.
Some things can be said, but some things are not necessary to say, and it is best to keep your mouth shut.
It is not to distrust each other, nor to calculate each other, but to learn to think in a different position and know how to deal with people.
Having a conflict with your family is originally an internal family conflict, but if you tell your relatives about this matter, it will turn into an external contradiction and will also make yourself and your family more centrifugal.
Relatives can help each other, but for each other's family affairs, it is best to learn to keep their mouths shut and not to influence each other's decisions.
Truly intelligent people are not mixed with everyone, but have a sense of proportion and can carry clearly, such people will not become enemies with others, nor will they allow themselves to be wronged, so that they are invincible in interpersonal relationships.