Love and having children are two major events in life, the former is based on emotional behavior, while the latter needs more rationality, a person who lacks responsibility cannot provide a warm growth environment for children.
Women are the model of formal logic, they will be driven by reason, refuse to be dead to her suitors; will also be in the emotional impulse, with the new acquaintance of the person intimate relationship, but if there is no long-term planning for life, they will take the liberty of giving birth to children for him, which is not only irresponsible to themselves, but also not enough respect for the future marriage partner.
In the eyes of men, the most valuable quality of women is to know self-love and be loyal to marriage, if they find that their marriage partner lacks the above two qualities, their feelings for their wives will change from love to contempt in an instant.
Chen Tao (pseudonym), 28, and his wife, Li Rui (pseudonym), are college classmates who met and fell in love on campus and were once an enviable campus couple.
After graduation, because Chen Tao chose to work in Beijing, the relationship between the two of them was declared over, but what Chen Tao did not expect was that a few months later, Li Rui called to inform him that she was pregnant.
Li Rui said that she was pregnant with twins, and it had been 5 months, and she insisted that Chen Tao come back to take on the responsibility of a man and enter the palace of marriage with her.
After a little thought, Chen Tao quit his job in Beijing and returned home to discuss marriage with Li Rui.
Chen Tao was born in a rural family, and the material conditions in the family were not too rich, because of this, when he faced the opposition of his mother-in-law and Li Rui's request to buy a house, he also felt very embarrassed.
Chen Tao's mother said to Li Rui, our family's conditions are average, if you want a lot of money, we can't get it, but since you have our children, we will not let you be wronged.
At that time, Chen Tao had just quit his job and had no money in his hand, but he still borrowed a house from his relatives as a new house with the help of his parents, and gave Li Rui a dowry of 100,000 yuan, and took out another 30,000 yuan to buy a mink coat and 3 gold for Li Rui.
With the efforts of the whole family, a month later, Chen Tao and Li Rui held a simple and solemn wedding, and Chen Tao still remembers the sweet moment when the wedding was held:
The emcee asked Chen Tao to feed Li Rui an uncooked egg and asked Li Rui: Is it raw or not? Li Rui replied happily: "Sheng."
The good wishes at the wedding were fulfilled after the marriage, and 3 months later, Li Rui gave birth to a pair of twin sons, adding a touch of color to the bland family life.
But the arrival of the twin sons did not make the marriage relationship between Chen Tao and Li Rui stable, due to the pressure of trivial matters in life, as well as the contradictions between the family, Li Rui was angry, she left the child and returned to her mother's house, and she also proposed a divorce request to Chen Tao.
Chen Tao was very angry at Li Rui's behavior regardless of the child, and he sent a message to ask the other party why he was so irresponsible, but Li Rui replied: You have to receive the seeds you sow yourself.
Seeing this information, Chen Tao was very angry, he gambled, he took two children to do a paternity test, but the results of the identification made him collapse, and the pair of sons he had worked hard to raise were really not his own children.
Chen Tao's father said that these two children were raised by me and my wife, and I have special feelings for them, but our family's economic conditions are not good, I spent nearly 300,000 yuan for my son to get married, and now, the children can't stay around.
Chen Tao was also reluctant to have a child, but under the blessing of both reason and anger, he resolutely sent the child back to Li Rui's home, and sued Li Rui to the court, asking her to return her own financial losses and mental loss fees.
In court, Li Ruixiong argued Taotao, she bluntly said that she had told Chen Tao before marriage that the child was not his, but Chen Tao expressed his willingness to have this child, and her premarital pregnancy was caused by Chen Tao, if Chen Tao did not choose to break up with her, she would not be pregnant with someone else's child...
However, despite this, the court still ordered Li Rui to compensate Chen Tao for 80,000 yuan for the cost of raising the child and 40,000 yuan for mental losses.
Chen Tao felt that the 120,000 yuan compensation was too meager compared to what he had paid for Li Rui, so he filed a second-instance appeal, demanding that Li Rui return his 300,000 yuan loss.
This appeal made the contradiction between Chen Tao and Li Rui more intense, Chen Tao grew up watching the two children grow up, after they left, naturally missed them very much, but Li Rui did not let him visit the children.
Chen Tao's parents often shed tears because they miss their two children, and on this day, they bought a lot of fruits that their children liked to eat, and wanted to try to go to Li Rui's house to see their children again.
But after arriving at Li Rui's house, Li Rui and her mother angrily threw the fruit out, Li Rui said that he ignored his mother's opposition and married Chen Tao, who had a poor family, but after marriage, he was not treated kindly, Chen Tao's family ostensibly gave themselves a 100,000 dowry, in fact, they were all on Chen Tao's account, and Chen Tao did not even buy a single piece of clothing for himself.
Li Rui said that in the first 3 months before she left Chen Tao's home, Chen Tao gave her a total of 1700 yuan, which made her very poor with two children.
As for why the child was not Chen Tao's own child, Li Rui responded that this was all a bureau made by Chen Tao, and she said that the child's biological father was actually Chen Tao's friend, and they came together under Chen Tao's arrangement.
In this regard, Chen Tao said that Li Rui was in the dark, he himself was not stupid, how could he be willing to raise other people's children?
In order to seek verification, the mediator contacted the child's biological father, Mr. Wang, according to the telephone number provided by Li Rui.
Hearing the name Li Rui, Mr. Wang said that he was a little impressed, but he couldn't remember clearly, after thinking about it carefully for a while, he said that he did have a relationship with Li Rui, but the two only had a month from acquaintance to breakup, and he didn't know how he would "like to be a father".
Mr. Wang said that he did not know Chen Tao, and at this point, Chen Tao's statement that Li Rui became pregnant before marriage was also falsified by Mr. Wang.
Looking at the family portrait hanging at home, Chen Tao had mixed feelings, and a mistake made by Li Rui before marriage not only made his life a mess, but also hurt Chen Tao, who had once loved her deeply, Chen Tao finally said that he planned to sort out the materials of the second trial and recover his losses from Li Rui.
Psychologists believe that the most stable structure of family relations is the "triangular structure", in which the husband and wife each occupy one corner of the triangle, and below them there are children, as a bond between the feelings between the two.
The feelings between husband and wife are more intimate because of the children, and the children can thrive under the wings of the parents, which is what a happy family should look like.
Chen Tao once felt proud that he had a happy family, and he also tried to make his wife and children live a life of superior material conditions through his own efforts, but after his wife returned home in a negative mood and he unexpectedly found that his two sons were not his own flesh and bones, his spirit completely collapsed, and he suddenly felt that there was no place in this family worth his hard work.
Loyalty is the basis of the stability of the marriage relationship, if there is no trust and loyalty between the husband and wife, this marriage will have no meaning to survive anymore, Li Rui and Chen Tao met and fell in love on campus, and the campus couple chose to break up in the graduation season, which is also a very common thing, perhaps because Li Rui hates Chen Tao's determination to leave, she will make the mistake of getting pregnant for others, but using hurtful behavior to retaliate against others is itself a manifestation of her own irresponsibility.
And Li Rui blamed chen Tao for the mistakes she made, believing that the idea of "it is all your fault, I will become like this" is even more difficult for Chen Tao to accept, so Chen Tao will resolutely use litigation to recover his losses in this relationship.
If Chen Tao and Li Rui can use the way of communication to replace each other's harm when they first have a conflict, perhaps the two of them will have a happy ending, and the campus couple who once loved each other finally chose to go to court, which is really a regrettable thing.
(Picture from the Internet, invasion and deletion)