Lead
The obligations of parents to their children are, legally, fulfilled by the age of 18. But in fact, blood kinship, most parents' care and worry about their children, continues to the end of their lives. In other words, as long as you have this ability, as long as your children have needs, as a parent, no matter how old your children are, you will give everything.
In "Thirty Only", Gu Jia's father said a passage: "Children, it is the debt of our past life." If we don't have the ability, we will be the ferryman's boat, and we will send it wherever we can before we close our eyes. They themselves are the big boat, so we have to be the lifeboat on the top, and in case something happens, we are the ones who will finally send them ashore. ”
Generally speaking, as an "exchange relationship" between people and in the relationship, the parent-child relationship is naturally no exception. Parents raise their children, and it is a matter of course for children to be filial to their parents when they are old. But many parents have turned their love for their children into doting, and have forgotten to educate their children well.
Failing to let children learn to be independent, to be grateful, to understand responsibility and responsibility. In the end, I only know how to take it from my parents, but I don't know how to feed back. In the end, he became a white-eyed wolf and felt that his parents did not love him. This is a failure for children and a failure for parents. Aunt Wang Julian, such a mother, she finally figured it out and decided to live for herself in the future.
Wang Julian's self-description
My husband's marriage, my parents' fate, there is no vigorous love between the two. But my husband is honest and principled, even if he has not been able to get pregnant for several years after marriage, because of my physical reasons, he has not chosen to divorce or target me. So the feelings between us slowly arose and slowly stabilized.
Later, he had a son and naturally became a baby. For this son, we really did it in our mouths for fear of melting, and held them in our hands for fear of falling. It can be said that he has given everything he has, and only hopes that his son can be healthy and happy. Later, when I think about it, my son grew up, and as parents, we really didn't refuse any of his requests.
It may also be because of our pampering that the son's character is stubborn and admits to death. It also caused my son to get used to our efforts. He knows nothing about gratitude or heartache for us. He always felt that whatever me and his dad did for him was deserved.
The marriage between my son and my daughter-in-law, in fact, I did not agree with it from the first time my son took her home. After my daughter-in-law's first visit, I went to inquire about her original family. The result is very dissatisfied, the neighbors are not very good at the evaluation of the future relatives, coincidentally, I also had a contact with the two, which confirmed that the future relatives are not easy to get along with.
Although the daughter-in-law has a sweet mouth and seems to be well-behaved and sensible at present, I think that the temperament of the children, more or less, will be related to the parents. Even if the daughter-in-law does not inherit these personalities, such a mother-in-law parent will definitely affect the married life of my son in the future. After all, marriage has never been a matter of two people, and the original families of both sides, as long as they are slightly unclear, will definitely affect the marriage of the two families.
But the son admits to death, no matter how I analyze the pros and cons, he insists that marriage is a matter of two people, as long as the two people have a good relationship, it can be. I had no choice but to reluctantly agree in the end. Later, when my son and daughter-in-law talked about marriage, it was just in time for the demolition of my house, which could be divided into two sets of commercial houses. A set of three bedrooms and two halls, one set of one bedroom and one living room. I had originally planned to live in a one-bedroom, one-hall, three-bedroom, two-hall house for my son, and use it as a marriage room for my son.
But the daughter-in-law refused, through my son and I expressed that after marriage, the two were ready to have children, and there were too many places to use money in the future. Besides, she felt that it was more lively for the family to live together, and she could also filial piety to the elderly in advance. So wish I had stayed with them and exchanged one bedroom for money.
Living with his son, his children and grandchildren are on their knees, believing that every old man is happy. I originally thought that my daughter-in-law would not like to live with my in-laws, but now that my daughter-in-law has proposed this, I naturally agree. So the final plan is to follow the daughter-in-law's proposal. After my son and daughter-in-law got married, I began to live under the same roof as my son and daughter-in-law.
Speaking from the heart, as long as I still have the strength to help do some housework, there is no problem. Not long after we lived together, I found out that my son and daughter-in-law had become hands-off treasurers, and I was a nanny who posted money upside down. Moreover, my daughter-in-law was particularly open to me as a "nanny". Clothes are washed separately and washed in the washing machine, the sheets should be changed once a week, and the three meals a day should not be repeated.
Anyway, there are many things, and there are all kinds of tosses. As soon as I complained, my daughter-in-law was aggrieved, saying that she regarded me as her own mother, so she would say anything. He also said that I was not happy because I did not consider her a daughter. Let me imagine her request as my son's and ask if I'm still unhappy.
Although I felt that something was wrong, but for a moment and a half I said that I could not say that my daughter-in-law could not help, plus my son was helping me again, I could only laugh it off, and life was business as usual. Then when my grandson was born, I was busier, because in addition to the original things, there were more children's things. Everyone knows that children's things are too much and tedious, and friends and relatives say that I am busier than when I was younger.
Later, when my grandson went to kindergarten and had a little more time during the day, I quickly went to find a job. A few years ago, my husband died, and the treatment used up the savings in our hands. In addition to this retirement salary now, I am not very helpful to my son financially. Now that I have children, the cost is greater, and I want to make my son's life a little more generous and less stressful, so I can only do things while I can still do things and do a little more odd work.
To say that I am tired or not, it is definitely tired, but when I think of my son and daughter-in-law, it is not easy to earn money to support the family, I can help one, so I am tired. In fact, before this, many people have said to me that the life of the daughter-in-law's parents is very comfortable, and every day is either shopping or dancing. Although I am envious, I don't think there is anything wrong with it. When people spend their own money, they can naturally live the life they like.
But I couldn't take it, my son took my retirement salary, took the money I earned from my odd jobs. To give the husband two children as living expenses, just so that his wife can be happy. Even so, his own mother was exhausted, and he only gave some sweet words, without any pain. I didn't know that my previous misedupporting had made him so selfish.
I was disappointed in my son and no longer believed in my daughter-in-law, after my daughter-in-law deceived me and took my parents on a tour. In fact, if the daughter-in-law directly tells me that on the birthday of her mother,she will take her parents out on a trip, and when she waits for her mother-in-law's birthday, she will also take her mother-in-law on a trip. I won't have any opinions, even if the sentence of taking me out later is just an empty word, at least not for the time being.
First I asked me what regrets I had in this life, and I told her that I had no time or reluctance before, and I had never traveled with my husband in my life. Later, she took her husband and children, as well as her own mother-in-law and parents on a trip. Has she forgotten that she once said that she saw my efforts in her eyes, and she will definitely repay me if she has the ability in the future. So, that's how my daughter-in-law reciprocated me?
If someone else hadn't seen it and sent me the photo, I wouldn't have known. At that time, I was helping people move things, dozens of pounds of boxes, and after putting them up, I was chilled when I saw these photos. Not to mention that I also learned from this person's mouth that the family has been showing off outside, and his daughter and son-in-law have raised themselves, so they can live so comfortably without retirement wages.
My son admitted happily in the face of my questioning, because he felt that he was not wrong. The son means that the husband and wife are not in good health, so they should rest more, saying that I am in good health, and that work is to exercise and make money. The daughter-in-law is a little embarrassed, a strong said, after a period of time must take me out of the tour, this time did not go together, because of the fear of both parents go together, easy to make conflicts.
I smiled, did not speak, I do not blame the daughter-in-law, people's hearts are separated, I did not raise her, naturally can not have many requirements for her. Although I also helped her a lot after she entered the door, but when it comes to breaking the sky, this small family is not a daughter-in-law alone, and I am not simply helping my daughter-in-law, the main reason is actually my son.
I told my son about the grievances in his heart, but his son did not understand and expressed dissatisfaction with my complaints. I remembered that before, someone advised me not to be obedient to my son, and it was easy to spoil my son. I don't listen, I think others are stirring up dissension, and now that I think about it, it's my mistake after all. I myself did not educate my son well, and now I am suffering such grievances, which I have also asked for.
The end of the story
I didn't argue with my son, I didn't even reason with him, and some of the truths might only be understood until he had experienced it himself. I quickly moved to the old house in the village, and I did not expect that this house left by my in-laws and my husband would become my retirement place.
My son did come a few times, and after I sternly refused each time, he didn't come. I knew he blamed me in his heart and thought I didn't love him anymore. Without my retirement salary, without the money I earn from part-time work, my family would not be able to continue to be so leisurely. The daughter-in-law looked at her parents hard, and her heart was not happy, and she heard that she often quarreled with my son.
But what does it have to do with me? Since I have chosen to let go, let my son handle it himself. I have worked hard to raise my son and help my son and daughter-in-law for so many years, and since I can't be fair, then I will be kind to myself. Are you right?
There is a saying on the Internet: "The most successful love of parents for their children is to separate their children from their lives as an independent individual as soon as possible." The independent individual in this sentence does not only mean that when the child grows up, he is independent. Rather, it is to let children have the correct values of life, and have a spirit of gratitude, optimism and positivity. And all this needs education, so as a parent, no matter how much you love your children, don't turn love into coddling, and don't forget to educate your children well.
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