The tutor is the rudder of the family| the tutor is the rudder, and the home wind is the sail

Parents hope that their children can have a broad future, but the future direction of their children's lives is based on the influence of family style tutoring in the growth trajectory. Parents are the biggest support of children, and they are also the original setters of children's life direction.

The original intention of the promulgation of the "Family Education Promotion Law" is very clear - in order to carry forward the fine tradition of the Chinese nation in attaching importance to family education, guide the whole society to pay attention to the family, tutoring, and family style, enhance family happiness and social harmony, and cultivate socialist builders and successors with moral, intellectual, physical, aesthetic, and labor development.

This is telling parents how to teach their children, and it is also telling society how to help parents.

There are profound reasons behind the rise of family education to "state affairs".

On the one hand, family education is extremely important, and in the process of human growth, family education will play a unique and very important role. Children are mainly educated in the family before entering school, that is, they are mainly influenced by their parents. The critical period of a person's physical and mental development is precisely at the age of 0 to 6, which is reflected in the child's language expression ability, values, and rule awareness.

On the other hand, some of the current situations of family education need to be changed urgently. Many parents confuse or merge the different roles of family education and school education, thinking that family education is to cooperate with school education to supervise and help children improve academic performance, so family education is understood as enrolling children in classes.

First of all, school education does not include all the needs of a child's education, and family education is indispensable. Secondly, family education is preceded by school education, if parents do not pay attention to the cultivation of children's moral character in family education, there is no good family style construction, the effect of school education can not play the greatest role.

01

What is a good home style tutor?

Since ancient times, Chinese has a tradition of attaching importance to family, tutoring and family style.

Family education in ancient China was mainly realized through the influence of family style, which was implemented by integrating the basic principles of doing things into life and requiring children to behave in the world.

The so-called family style is the words and deeds of parents and elders, which is imperceptible, and its core is the value. Entering a new era, the family style has the characteristics of the new era, and we must inherit the tradition and base ourselves on the contemporary.

Love the country and love the family

In the "Family Education Promotion Law", "strict kindness and mutual assistance" and "equal exchange" all carry the characteristics of the family style in the new era and inject new connotations, and handling the relationship between home and country and improving the life pattern of children is the demand and requirement for the construction of good family style in the new era.

Parents must first let the child realize that he is a member of the family, at home to assume due responsibilities, the prosperity and development of the family is related to themselves, and then cultivate the child's love for the hometown, love the motherland, and then have a sense of responsibility to shoulder the mission of the times, have a lofty ideal and ambition.

02

Filial piety and love for the elderly

Compared with the ancient big family, today's families are miniaturized, but many small families have elderly people helping, so how parents treat their elders is very critical, which is also an important "body teaching" for the inheritance of filial piety Chinese.

Parents' attitude towards family members will also form an important family style, Chinese since ancient times, advocating husband and wife respect as guests, brothers and brothers, neighbors and harmony, this kind of harmonious relationship between people is still very important today, is the basis for children to form good relations with others.

03

Upward to good

A person and a family should have pursuits, goals, and directions, establish a family style of upward goodness, and advocate upward and good people.

For example, Principal Zhang Guimei, who uses her life to hold up the hopes of girls in mountainous areas, practices the power of upward goodness, and uses such strength to change the fate of girls, the fate of the region, the fate of education, and the fate of the country.

04

Rational and peaceful

The development of society is changeable, people in the pursuit of ideals in the process, there are good times and adversities, the ancients said that "the poor are good at their own, to reach the world at the same time" - both can enter, can be a teacher and a promising; but also can retreat, can abide by the status quo, poverty and happiness, live their own ordinary life, rational and peaceful, but also a very valuable family style inheritance.

No matter how a person develops, he likes himself, accepts himself, and has a rational and peaceful mentality, which is very critical in this era.

For parents, if they want to form such a family style, they must accept their children, set moderate growth goals for their children, and treat the successes and failures in the process of their children's growth rationally and peacefully.

Strict kindness, what should parents do?

In fact, parents have been given full advice on how to establish a good tutoring style in the law.

Article 17: Minors' parents or other guardians carrying out family education shall pay attention to minors' physical, psychological, and intellectual development status, respect their right to participate in relevant family affairs and express opinions, and reasonably use the following methods and methods:

1 Personally nurture and strengthen parent-child companionship;

2 Participate together and play the role of both parents;

3 Camera and teaching, edutainment in daily life;

4 Subtle, combining words with deeds;

5 Strict kindness, care and love and strict requirements;

6 Respect differences and conduct scientific guidance according to age and personality characteristics;

7 Communicate on an equal footing, with respect, understanding and encouragement;

8 Mutual promotion, parents and children grow together;

9 Other ways and means that are beneficial to the all-round development and healthy growth of minors.

Here, the most difficult for parents to grasp, but also the most challenging, may be the four words of "strict kindness and kindness".

When should I be strict and when should I be merciful? Is it that life is loose, and the child makes a mistake and severely criticizes it, which is called "strict kindness and kindness"? In fact, it is not so simple to achieve "strict kindness and compassion".

Have clear house rules

Set up house rules for your child early and be clear. If the rules are set first and the child accepts the rules, then it is natural to ask the child to follow the rules.

For example, in the "national family education problem" of playing mobile phones, if you set the rules before buying a mobile phone for your child - when to play, how long to play, how to do if you violate the rules, etc., and then ask your children to comply, you can solve this problem relatively easily, and it is not easy to have violent conflicts.

In addition, parents should strictly enforce the rules, can not put the rules invisible when they are in a good mood, and casually scold their children when they are in a bad mood.

Parenting should be appropriate

"Authoritative democracy" is a relatively scientific way of parenting, for example, parents can encourage their children to express their opinions, and negotiate and discuss with their children while making rules for their children, but once they are determined, they must be strictly enforced, which is "strict and kind", and it is also the performance of "equal communication, respect, understanding and encouragement" with children in the Family Education Promotion Law. In fact, democracy is also a good family style, which can cultivate and edify the democratic spirit of children.

The above is the essence of the series of live broadcasts

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Sources

Beijing Family Education Research Association