"Education is great,
Because it is rational love,
Strong parents must be rational parents. ”
"Genius is choosing the path that suits him,
Parents should help their child find the right path for him. ”
Recently, in the live broadcast program of the China Education News", Sun Yunxiao, vice president of the China Family Education Society, called for "the development direction of family education is definitely not to turn the family into a school, but to make the family more like the family." ”
After the "double reduction", what key points should be grasped in family education? How can I solve my challenges? Xiaobian sorted out the 10 questions that everyone was most concerned about during the live broadcast, let's listen to Teacher Sun's suggestions!
01
Parents' "to manage" and "do not care" after "double subtraction"
Q
After the "double subtraction", does it mean that parents can ignore their children's education?
Sun Yunxiao: After the "double subtraction", parents can not care about their children's test score rankings, but pay more attention to their internal interests and learning habits.
Because without interest there is no motivation, without habit there is no security. Let the child develop good habits and strong interests, which is equivalent to installing an engine of growth in the child's heart, which is more important than how many extracurricular classes are made up.
In addition, the child's future development path parents must manage. When children express their visions of the future and it is difficult to make judgments, parents should be good counselors.
For example, as far as possible to find some knowledgeable friends, professionals, meet a visit, listen to the experience of people, which is beneficial to the development of children.
02
The child's learning motivation and learning status
That's what parents should focus on
After the "double subtraction", the school examination is not ranked, the results are not public, and the parents have no bottom in their hearts.
Sun Yunxiao: In fact, the school is right not to disclose the grade ranking, and the result of the ranking will increase the pressure on many children, because no one will always be the first place, and it will hit the confidence of the children who are temporarily lagging behind.
Parents are advised not to care too much about rankings and scores, as the purpose of most tests is actually to find out how well students have mastered their knowledge.
Parents should pay attention to whether their children's learning motivation is sufficient and whether they are studying hard and seriously.
03
Strong parents must be rational parents
Under the "double reduction", how can parents give their children better family education?
Sun Yunxiao: What do parents rely on to educate their children well? Our research found that the key is not the parents' academic qualifications, income, and social status, but on the parents' educational literacy.
Educational literacy includes educational philosophy, educational methods and educational ability. Parents with high educational attainments are not strong parents, but rational parents. Education is great because it is rational, and strong parents must be rational parents.
Here, a few tips for parents.
First of all, it is recommended that parents take an hour to read the Family Education Promotion Law carefully, and you will find that the Family Education Promotion Law is a law full of warmth, not a law that punishes parents. It teaches parents how to love their children rationally, including adhering to the right values, respecting children's rights, drawing clear lines between right and wrong, and ultimately cultivating people with the goal of happiness and truly healthy development.
Second, we must cultivate the habit of reading in children. Parents are the best teachers for children, and every word and deed of parents is subtly influencing children. Parents often read books, often take their children to bookstores and libraries, and children will naturally like to read. In addition, parent-child co-reading is recognized as a good way to develop the habit of reading.
Third, develop children's life skills. Only by mastering life skills can children truly move towards independence. Being able to cook, do laundry, and tidy up your room is one of the most immediate life skills. But life skills don't just that, they also include relationship handling, how to treat friends, how to protect yourself, and so on. These are all things that children need to master.
Fourth, we must pay attention to children's physical exercise. Physical activities are an effective way for young children to socialize, sports need rule awareness, tenacious will, teamwork, advocating honor, so sports is actually "personality education", developing the habit of sports will benefit for life.
04
A good life is a good education
A bad life is a bad education
Under the "double reduction", how can schools better lead the growth of parents?
Sun Yunxiao: The Family Education Promotion Law stipulates: "Primary and secondary schools and kindergartens shall include family education guidance services in their work plans as the content of teachers' professional training." ”
So, how can schools mentor families? The development direction of family education is definitely not to turn the family into a school, but to make the family more like the family.
My advice is that schools learn to guide the life education of the family, not just the subject knowledge of the child. Schools should realize that the essence of family education is life education. As the educator Tao Xingzhi said, a good life is a good education, and a bad life is a bad education.
Taking parent-teacher conferences as an example, schools can ask parents who have done a good job in life education to share their experiences. For example, how to cultivate children's life skills, how to cultivate children's cultural accomplishment, how to lead children to exercise, etc.
05
Busy parents can also be good parents
How to carry out family education for left-behind children in rural areas?
Sun Yunxiao: Experts in Jiangxi who study the problem of left-behind children have found that left-behind children actually care a lot about their parents' love and concern for him, which is called in-person reign.
Please note that the child needs not the care of the mother alone, but also the love and care of the father. Therefore, even if parents work outside the home, they must maintain close contact with their children and communicate as much as possible.
Busy parents can also be good parents. You have to remember that the child is an expert in the study of adults, whether you still care about him, whether you understand him, whether you love him, the child can be compared. So, no matter where you are, you can build a close relationship with your child.
06
After "double subtraction"
Replace it with a colorful life
The child's monotonous and poor life
After the "double subtraction" there is less homework, what should I do if the child is addicted to the game?
Sun Yunxiao: The best way to prevent children from indulging in online games is to "replace".
First, replace the monotonous and poor life with a rich and colorful life. After the "double subtraction", parents and teachers should pay attention to guiding children to replace bad lives with good lives. For example, parents can use sports, reading, travel, and various methods to make children feel the joy and beauty of real life, and replace the monotonous and poor life with a colorful life.
Second, replace failed experiences with successful experiences. Most children who are addicted to the Internet may find it difficult to get a successful experience and positive feedback in real life, so it is particularly important for them to get a sense of identity and victory on the virtual network, and parents can consider helping their children get rid of Internet addiction from this perspective.
07
Genius is about choosing the path that suits him
"Double subtraction" has become a shield for children not to learn, what if they hold their mobile phones every day and do not let go?
Sun Yunxiao: This phenomenon shows that children lack strong interest and good habits.
Some parents say that their children have no potential and no interest. In fact, children are not without potential, but lack of opportunities to experience.
Good parents will find out the changes and needs of their children in time and give them the necessary understanding, help and support. The problem is that the child's potential advantage is not easy to find, which requires not only care but also conditions, especially a variety of practice.
When my daughter was in elementary school, I developed the habit of reading. How do you get into the habit of writing? I encouraged her to be a student journalist. Later, she actually became a media reporter.
Therefore, be sure to believe in the child and give the child the opportunity to exercise and experience. My point is that genius chooses the path that suits him, and parents need to help their child find the path that suits him.
08
Changing children starts with changing their parents
Changing education starts with changing relationships
What if parents are in the same room as their children and the child is reluctant to talk?
Sun Yunxiao: If the child's rebellion is more serious and he is unwilling to talk to his parents, at this time, parents can try to write letters to their children.
When writing letters, communicate with your child in a heartfelt way to express your understanding and respect for your child. After writing the letter, find the right opportunity to put the letter on your child's desk or on his bed.
You have to believe that your child will watch it, even more than once. Maybe after reading the letter, the child may not say anything. But maybe one day in ten years, the child will say, "Mom, you wrote me a letter back then, and it was very helpful to me!" ”
Therefore, changing children starts with changing parents, and changing education starts with changing relationships.
09
Parents should try to understand their children
Be gentle with your children
The child locks the door as soon as he comes home, what should I do?
Sun Yunxiao: Generally speaking, adolescent children are prone to such things. Children at this stage have a need for security and a certain degree of independence, and it is understandable to ask for solitude.
For this situation, parents should try to understand the child, treat the child gently, and never take a rough approach. For example, you must not break through the door, parents must learn to knock on the door. At the same time, to spend more time with your children, you can try to take your children out to play.
Rebellion is a characteristic of adolescent children, and when children feel your respect and understanding, they will slowly open their hearts.
10
Two-child families are the least wise
It's about favoring a certain child
How do two-child families balance the relationship between two children?
Sun Yunxiao: I have a suggestion to my parents, the most important thing for a two-child family is to do a good job as the boss, and the most unwise thing is that parents prefer a certain child.
Parents must pay attention to the boss, for example, going out alone with the boss to watch a movie and have a meal is a good way.
When you give the boss enough love and mobilize the enthusiasm of the boss, he will become your assistant and become a role model for younger siblings.
So, don't snub the boss.
About good education,
Teacher Sun Yunxiao also said these words:
Education is to live a good life, to live a good life.
Parents who can find more advantages in their children can educate their children better.
Companionship requires love, physical strength, and perseverance.
The role model of parents is the most direct, effective and important family education.
The only way out for parents in the new era is to grow up with their children, learn and learn again, and grow and grow again.
Parents and children create a better life together, which is the real vitality of family education.
There is love in the heart, and the end of the world changes at hand. There is no love in the heart, and the end of the world is at hand.
The ideal education is to give children full understanding, respect and care, accompanied by strict requirements, and even necessary criticism and punishment.
Source: China Education News "Two Sessions Night Talk • Double Subtraction" Sun Yunxiao live broadcast record
Part of the content source: Sun Yunxiao Studio (ID: syxedu)
Text: China Education Daily reporter Jia Wenyi RenHe intern reporter Wang Xinzhe sorted out the report
Editor: Jia Wenyi
Illustration: Fan Wei
Editor-in-charge: Jia Wenyi