Guizhou Provincial Women's Federation with
Education Department of Guizhou Radio and Television Station(FM106.2)
Specially planned
"Yuyan" series of "Tutoring according to Law and Loving Qianxing"
Directly attack the pain points of tutoring according to law, and export scientific parenting concepts
Special thanks
Experts from guizhou family education think tanks strongly support this program
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Survey data show that people who have been in a highly violent environment for a long time in childhood are more likely to become perpetrators and victims of violence when they grow up. But in reality, there are often: you know you can't hit a child, but sometimes you just can't help it? Why some children and parents can live in harmony, and you are always out of control and so on. It is said that "good people come out of the golden stick", but the law says "beating is not pro, scolding is not love"?
result......
What is the violence in family parenting?
How to respect and care for children?
How to deal with the relationship between parents and stop intergenerational transmission of violence?
How to be a smart parent and establish a good parent-child relationship?
The theme of this issue: How to respect and care for children and avoid domestic violence
Guest of this issue: Fu Liping
【Guest Profile】
Associate Professor and Master Supervisor of School of Psychology, Guizhou Normal University
Ph.D., Department of Psychology, East China Normal University
Visiting Scholar, College of Arts and Sciences, University of Kentucky, USA
Member of the Chinese School Psychology Branch
44.29 Yu yan 18-1 [How to respect and care for children and avoid domestic violence Fu Liping]
4.29 Yuyan 18-2 [How to respect and care for children and avoid domestic violence Fu Liping]
4.29 Yuyan 18-3 [How to respect and care for children and avoid domestic violence Fu Liping]
4.29 Yuyan 18-4 [How to respect and care for children and avoid domestic violence Fu Liping]
WHO survey data shows that violence is one of the important causes of adolescent death. Domestic violence encroaches on the human dignity and physical and mental health of the victim, and in severe cases even threatens life, causing great trauma to the family. Domestic violence is a pervasive social phenomenon and an urgent mental health problem, often in a fairly hidden form. Common, explicit acts of domestic violence are beatings, but in practice also include mental harm, such as cold violence such as coldness, contempt, laissez-faire, alienation and indifference to the other party, verbal violence such as insults, intimidation, slander, and planting.
Some parents are angry and corrupt, unwilling to beat their children and slap themselves; some parents beat their children and insist that their children "admit their mistakes"; and parents quarrel for a long time in the family, which is a common phenomenon of domestic violence. In order to avoid the pain of flesh and skin, children will learn to lie and reduce disasters.
Therefore, we call for "being a wise parent, respecting and caring for children, helping children grow up healthily, and avoiding domestic violence".
To be a wise parent, we must learn to raise children scientifically. Learn and understand the relevant knowledge of children's physical and mental development, understand children of different ages, understand the needs of children, and receive training, such as parenting knowledge in parenting classrooms and developmental psychology.
To be a wise parent, I want to save my body in three provinces. Ask yourself: How can you do guardianship responsibility? How will my actions affect my child? Have you learned to nourish yourself before nourishing your child's mind? Are your emotions stable and reliable? Having a reflective love, so that parents have more accurate predictions on the way forward in education, will surely make education more effective with half the effort.
To be a smart parent, we must uphold a developmental mindset. Look at the diversity of adolescent developments in their development from multiple perspectives and be a visionary parent. Parents should make their mentality more peaceful and emotionally stable.
To be a smart parent, you must know how to ask professionals for help. Be sensitive to whether there is domestic violence or tendentious behavior in the family, bravely be the person in the family who resolutely says no to violence, support and help the child; when the child has suffered violence and is psychologically trapped, it is necessary to accompany and seek help from a psychologist in time, intervene and treat in time. Knowing how to ask for help is a manifestation of wisdom and a courageous act.
【Expert Recommendation】
Recommended Book: Li Meijin's "Psychological Upbringing"
Reason for recommendation: Psychology expert Li Meijin conveyed such a concept to parents in "Psychological Support": "Raising children, psychological support is more important than material support". The author believes that psychological parenting mainly includes four aspects: emotion, personality, concept, and ability, and parents must participate in the whole process of psychological upbringing, through companionship, care, and access to children's sense of attachment, and then obtain the capital to discipline children and "establish rules".
Recommended Book: Chen Xin,"Holistic Parenting"
Reason for recommendation: This is a parenting guide for parents. Among them, there are both the "internal strength method" of parenting and the "specific moves" of parenting, which can effectively help parents establish an overall understanding of children's development and help children develop various necessary core abilities. Only when we hold the panorama of children's development in our hands and look at the development of children with the idea of overall parenting, can we see the way forward and the way, and then reflect on our own parenting style to help children grow better.
Recommended book: Li Xiaomeng "Hello, Child"
Recommended reasons: From "paternalistic discipline" to "cooperative parenting", the focus of this book is refocused on children: only the entire society, including parents, will take "child-friendliness" as the core cognition and educational norm, can make children's spiritual independence and natural freedom possible, and can each life glow with its own infinite vitality.
Recommended Book: Jane. Nelson," Positive Discipline
Reason for recommendation: Positive discipline is a method of disciplining a child that neither punishes nor pampers... Only in a kind and firm atmosphere can children cultivate self-discipline, responsibility, cooperation and the ability to solve problems on their own, learn the social skills and life skills that will benefit them for life, and achieve good academic results... How to use positive discipline to enable children to acquire this ability.
【Wheat written after the interview】
Ms. Fu Liping has studied child development psychology for many years, and has also treated many teenagers and parents, and studied many cases. Frozen three feet is not a cold day, under many exposed psychological problems, nearly 100% of the underlying causes are related to domestic violence. Among them, there are already facts of domestic violence, but most of them are still hidden and tendentious acts of domestic violence.
As parents, in an era when the pace of life is so fast, we should pay special attention to adjusting our emotions and pressures, and effectively accompanying our children for a limited time; do not pretend to be a parent to command or guide children, respect their own and their children's hearts, and grow together, which may also be one of the ways to constitute a harmonious parent-child relationship.
No one issues certificates of competency to parents, and we are all peers who are constantly exploring and trial and error on the road of education. Don't be too anxious, after all, we don't become parents the day our children are born, but from that day we learn how to be parents. It is better to educate this matter slowly.
【About the program】
Source | Quiet Guizhou
Edit | Liao Xun
Editor-in-charge | Lu Weigang
Audit | Hou Qinghua