Marriage is the inevitable existence of society, but also the demand relationship of the vast majority of people, but now the divorce rate gradually began to rise is also an indisputable fact, no one divorce is for fresh stimulation, aside from domestic violence cheating involves factors of personal safety, most people we choose to give up marriage, the most real needs and ideas are very simple, is to think better.
But looking at those who reorganize their families, second-married couples, is it really good to live?
It is not excluded that there are happy families, but more likely, the answer is not necessarily true.
In the marriage relationship, encountered a problem of principle or direct harm, then divorce is beyond reproach, but also should be decisive decision, but if only because of the so-called burnout, or out of tune and choose to separate, then to put it bluntly, no matter who you marry in the future, the ending will not have much difference.
The essence of marriage and the content of life will not change, just a new partner.
There will be such and such problems in everyone, there will be a stage that makes you love to the soul, there is also the impulse to make you shiver and want to give him (her) a slap, how to solve such a conflict, how to peaceful the relationship between two people, in other words, how to make two people completely different people live together, is the need for us to master the skills of improvement, do not find the root of the problem, do not improve the ability to love, then how many partners are the same.
You don't learn to swim, how many pools will drown, so if the first marriage is not well managed, why are you sure that the second marriage will definitely be able to live well, especially in the case of already having children, no longer simple and more complicated, and why do you think that the opposite sex will cherish you more unconditionally?
There are no more than two possibilities for remarriage and mate selection, one is that the other party has no marriage history, and the other is that the other party has been married like you. However, both have various advantages and disadvantages, and there are also contradictions that are difficult to integrate.
It is not that they cannot divorce, it is not that they cannot choose to re-choose, but all those who want to choose to change the bad life at this moment with a new opposite sex and marriage should understand a truth at this moment, that is, people are empiricists, but also egoism, after experiencing a marriage, there is bound to be wary of psychology, all say that remarried couples are anti-thieves, although it does not sound friendly, but it is also an inescapable reality problem.
The last time you learn to be obedient, whether it is you or the other party, you will instinctively avoid the risks you may involve and increase your own protection, so paying will become a meticulous process, all kinds of vigilance, all kinds of defenses, there is no right or wrong, just people have the instinctive survival skills after experiencing it.
Internet chicken soup has a certain role, after all, it is a shot in the arm for a moment of stagnation, which can temporarily inspire people's hearts, but do not use chicken soup as a supplement, credulously believe, change him (her) will definitely meet a more suitable person.
The truth is that the vast majority of second-married couples are anxious about the chaotic relationship in the family, which is not simply the problem of ex-husbands (wives), but also the re-integration of children and multiple social relations, and the inability of the first marriage to be a deserter, does not mean that as long as the person is changed, you can get a good life.
The second marriage, one is strong in self-defense, and the other is that patience has been exhausted. Whether it is emotional or financial, it is difficult to fully invest in a relationship, so even if you find the other party is the opposite sex with no marriage history, you can't give the whole body and mind, and at that time, the other party will inevitably feel wronged and produce countless differences.
As mentioned in the book "Love Yourself, Marry WhoEver You Marry", in the era of soaring divorce rates, you will eventually find that at least 70% of marriages do not have to settle the relationship in a divorce way
Life is a school, we always improve the skills of survival, but intimacy and marriage is a higher education institution that cultivates the social elite, and only after experiencing difficult exams and multi-faceted performance improvement can it be accepted by more people.
So it is not to create anxiety so that everyone can hide their marriage, but rational choice, do not impulsively decide, after all, it is not really impossible to live, who will easily choose to give up a relationship, or even separate from the child.
But in the end, you must realize that even if you are married to the person you like after divorce, that person will become your ex sooner or later, because his or her open-mindedness at this moment, giving you free space and appreciation, mostly stems from the fact that you are not a community of interests.
When your words and deeds directly affect you, then almost without exception will repeat the possibility that you cannot tolerate people's behavior.
END
Text/Relief Emotional Station
(Author: Xiao Yu, psychological counselor, focusing on the emotional field), good at the restoration of romantic relationships, marital contradictions and differences, and the healing of psychological trauma caused by the original ecological family. The lonely journey of life, listening to your grievances and pressures, helping visitors improve their skills in getting along with the sexes, saving their lovers, managing their feelings, and striving to become happier people.