Text: Luo Yu Source: Middle School Inside and Outside the Classroom (ktnwczd)
Some time ago, in the community of China Railway International City in Hefei City, Anhui Province, a thing that said big is also big, and small is also small:
A "bear kid," not knowing whether it was boring or fun, threw 15 beer bottles down from the 28th floor.
After the child's parents learned about it, they went crazy in an instant: there were no casualties, but the consequences were unimaginable!
As a result, parents rushed to solemnly apologize to the neighbors in the owner group, reflecting on their usual lack of education on the dangers of high-altitude projectiles for their children, and at the same time, they also posted photos of beating their children!
For the behavior of bear children, this time rarely, I did not see someone say, you can't hit your child, you have to educate well.
On the contrary, there are many people who support the behavior of parents, and the child should be beaten, and if he is not beaten, he will not know what to do later.
A veteran teacher found a problem in years of education.
If you go to the primary school to see, you will find that some children, the facial expression is sluggish, the learning achievement is not good, the class does not listen to the lecture, the exam paper is not done;
They don't have any diseases, and their parents are healthy and in line with eugenics, but why is this the case?
The teacher boiled it down to the fact that the children had never been beaten.
Isn't that weird? But the teacher's reasoning seems to be very valid, and the child who is often beaten will dodge, his eyes will become very alert, and his body will become very sensitive.
When the father beats the child, the child will put up his ears to listen to what the parents are saying, carefully observe the parents' eyes, they will learn to observe the color, will take the initiative to accept information, search for information, and sensitively protect themselves.
And the child does not get beaten for a long time, just reason with him, and he does not want to listen to the big truth, he will deliberately lose his mind, block the voice of his parents, and do not talk to you.
After slowly developing habits, you will show a series of problems in the classroom, absent-minded in class, sluggish expression, and dull, which is the same as too long and sloppy military discipline.
Does it make sense? Not entirely agreeable, but there is also some persuasiveness.
Here is not to advocate parents to deliberately beat the child, but to tell parents a truth, the child should have a punishment, if only preaching, obviously not enough.
In the past, mr. Zhong's ring ruler in the old private school was not hanging there to look good, as long as the child made a mistake, it was directly the palm of the hand, so the children were very much in awe of the teacher, and indeed they could learn the results.
Does hitting a child have to be negative?
Rather, today's environment deliberately exaggerates the negative effects of hitting children, thus forming a trend;
As long as it is a child, it is not a good parent, and professor Li Meijin has mentioned the issue of punishment more than once.
Recently, a remark made by Li Meijin, a professor at the Public Security University, in "The Round Table Sect" can explain this point of view.
She said: "In the process of growing up, there must be something to form, in addition to love, but also to have reverence. If the child breaks the law, the punishment is actually a kind of protection, let him know that he is afraid, know that he regrets, and never dare to do it again, and really let him dare not to protect him. ”
The implication is precisely to emphasize that children should know to be afraid and know that rules cannot be violated. If a child makes a mistake, only punishment can make the child sober, as educators, we cannot tolerate it.
This is not the first time that Professor Li Meijin has emphasized reverence, she has also mentioned many times in her previous analysis of juvenile delinquency that the reason why people commit crimes is that there is no reverence.
There are no rules, no squares, no fear to suffer.
We teach children the same way, to let them know reverence, abide by the rules, only in this way can children get real growth.
The rising cost of education, in exchange for a decrease in efficiency, should make us reflect.
In the current educational environment, it is not recommended to beat children, even if it is a small problem, parents have to break it and rub it to tell their children.
For this kind of education, of course, it is advocated, but if the car ruts say it over and over again, and the child treats it as a noise, is it necessary to change the way?
For example, when I was a child, I was never afraid of my father, he never beat me, so every time I made a mistake, I first told him;
If this matter dad can't hold back, mom knows and picks up the feather duster to beat me, my brain will run at high speed, feeling that the moment is like a year, the regret in my heart is incomparable;
For a long time after that, they will not make similar mistakes, what psychology produces shadows, hates parents, feels inferior and timid;
None of this exists, because I did make a mistake, I knew I couldn't run away from this beating, what else could I think?
Today's parents, when their children have various problems, will first read the book how to say, think for a long time before making a decision.
Twenty years ago, parents came up with two mouths, and the child had no problems, although rough, but efficient, we will always have a long memory (now of course, it is not recommended).
But this contrast also gives us reflection.
Why don't children who used to be beaten a lot have any psychological problems?
We will often reflect on such a problem, in the 80s and 90s, it is often beaten, and the often scene is to be beaten out by parents.
I followed my friends outside until the evening, went home to see if my parents were angry, and then weakly asked, Mom, is the meal ready?
Then the family began to eat, no one mentioned what had just happened, and everyone was like no one else.
And now the child, a beating can not stand, the child has been hit a lot, parents have guilt, children will also have all kinds of problems, why is the same beaten, two generations of such a diametrically opposed situation?
1, the child's ability to resist pressure is too weak
Today's children are all soaked in a honeypot, a large family of people around a child, the child has been pampered since childhood, and will not experience any wind and rain.
Parents have done everything in advance, so the child's childhood is very happy, but he will eventually grow up.
In the face of the pressure of learning, in the face of social pressure, psychological endurance is very poor, in the past children were beaten is a common thing, parents greeted, they know to run quickly;
As for today's children, when their parents say " I'm going to beat you " , they can't stand it first and feel abandoned by their parents.
In the final analysis, it is that the ability to resist pressure is too weak, it is impossible to say, it cannot bear the suffering, let alone fight, and even scolding has become a sin.
2, children who are not often beaten, and can not stand the occasional beating
Children nowadays are beaten very rarely, so when they are occasionally beaten, they do not know how to react;
The body is not flexible, and does not know to hide, and the adults do not know the weight, and do not know how to end, so this situation is that the child has been hit hard, and the parents also have guilt.
Nowadays, there are still many families that beat their children, but parents also move their hands when their children really make mistakes, thunder and rain;
This is skillful, the parents a copy of the guy's action, the child will be scared to run away, soon after going home, will be honest for several days.
This kind of beating is actually more inclined to a kind of "scare", so that the child knows that this matter is very serious, violates the bottom line, and learns to reflect and fear.
Such a child, the heart is relatively large, but also more solid, after growing up to be frustrated, do not think that it is much suffering;
If someone else says a bad word, it will not be uncomfortable for several days, he will pass by with a giggle, and his psychological endurance is very strong.
Hitting children is not the goal, so that children have some fear and awe, is the most important.
There was a saying in the past that the eldest husband did something and did not do something.
This is actually a kind of bottom line of being a person, and the formation of this bottom line is inseparable from family education.
There are many boundaries that people cannot touch, and many times, the formation of this concept is done by punishment.
The Czech educator Comenius said that those who make mistakes should be punished, but they are punished not because they have made mistakes, but because they should not make mistakes in the future.
There are some mistakes in life, children make harmless mistakes, talk about it and pass, but some mistakes, once in a lifetime is enough;
Such mistakes are punished, which is to protect them, to establish a correct view of right and wrong, and to learn to follow and adapt to the rules.
However, the best way to punish is not to scold, which I am convinced of, but when there is no better punishment for the time being, is "hitting" an effective way?
The family's words may be biased, welcome to correct. (End)
*Source: Middle School Inside and Outside the Classroom (ID: ktnwczd)
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