Every parent or other educator may encounter a mischievous "bear child". In the face of "bear children", we must neither let it go unchecked nor overly disciplined. Letting children who are left alone may become a problem of bad behavior leads to factors of family, school and even social instability, and embarks on the road of breaking the law and committing crimes; too strict discipline can easily cause "bear children" to have rebellious psychology or even antagonistic emotions, which is also not conducive to the educational transformation of "bear children". Therefore, it is very important to conduct timely and correct education and guidance for "bear children". According to relevant research in psychology, rewards, punishments, and eliminations can be used to correct the behavior problems of "bear children".
First, use rewards. Encourage the "bear child" more positively, especially when he/she performs well, and affirm and reward in a timely manner. According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, everyone has a lack of belonging and love. This means that everyone has a need to hope to be recognized and praised by others, and only when this need for belonging and love is basically met will we pursue higher needs. And when we reward the "bear child" for doing a good job, it is also the time when the lack of needs are met, which is conducive to the formation of the healthy personality of the "bear child". Of course, rewards are divided into material rewards and spiritual rewards, and when the "bear child" lacks the motivation to do what we want him to do, we can use material rewards appropriately, because the short-term effect of material rewards is more obvious, but we can't always use material rewards, which is easy to damage the internal motivation to do these things. For example, you want the "bear child" to help go to the downstairs supermarket to buy something, may not be able to move him \ her at first, but promise him \ if she does this, how much pocket money can be obtained or will give him \ she will buy her favorite toys, he \ she may be willing to do this, but if you let him \ she help buy things, the material rewards given are similar, as the "bear child" grows older, he \ she may feel that this material reward is not attractive, later, he \ she may do what we want to do may be less and less, This is a way of material rewards, can achieve short-term results, at the beginning if the "bear child" lacks motivation, you can use a period of material rewards, and then slowly less material rewards, turn to the use of spiritual rewards, praise him \ she is intimate and sensible, praise him \ she does things very well, etc., through language to affirm, praise and encouragement, so that both to meet the "bear child" hope to be recognized and affirmed the lack of sexual needs, is conducive to the formation of a sound personality, but also to make the "bear child" Form an intrinsic motivation to do certain things, which gradually reduces bad behavior, increases and maintains stable good behavior.
Second, use punishment. It can be said that punishment is a last resort, and when the "bear child" has done something wrong, or often does something that we do not want him or her to do, it is only considered to use punishment in time. When using punishment, we should pay attention to: First, punishment is not the goal, we just want to reduce the bad behavior of the "bear child" through punishment, and make the "bear child" realize their mistakes and constantly correct the mistakes through punishment; the second is to maintain the consistency of the educational impact after punishment, some parents may be such a practice, the two parents sing a red face and a white face, this practice is actually not appropriate, if the "bear child" did something wrong, the father criticized the bear child, and the mother immediately forgave the "bear child", which will make " Bear children "mistakenly think that their mistakes are not big, so they will be forgiven so quickly, which instead makes the "bear children" lack of reflection on the wrong things they have done, and they do not realize the seriousness of the problem of doing wrong things; the third is to give the "bear children" the opportunity to remedy, after the "bear children" do the wrong things, if there is a lack of opportunities for remedy, it is also not conducive to the reflection and understanding of the wrong things, for example, the "bear children" in the winter smashed the window glass of the home, so that the "bear children" felt the serious consequences of smashing the glass to blow cold wind and freeze And by letting the "bear child" do housework to get "wages", raise enough money to change the glass, and then, replace the new glass to avoid blowing cold air, this opportunity for remediation is not only conducive to the "bear child" to realize the serious consequences of the wrong things they have done, but also conducive to making the "bear child" form a sense of responsibility for their own behavior; fourth, the punishment should be timely and moderate, and the punishment of the "bear child" should seize the opportunity to punish, and cannot be delayed until the "bear child" does not remember what wrong things they have done before dealing with it, so that "Bear children" will not obey the punishment, nor do they realize where their mistakes are, in addition, the punishment should be moderate, can not damage the physical and mental health of "bear children", such as corporal punishment or disguised corporal punishment may damage the physical and mental health of "bear children", so that the body or self-esteem and so on are damaged, therefore, it needs to be avoided.
Third, use fading. When the "bear child" makes unreasonable demands, or when his or her unreasonable behavior does not have to be solved by punishment, the method of fading can be adopted. That is to say, he or she is ignored for some irrational behavior of his or her, so that he or she realizes that this irrational behavior of his own will not play a role in achieving the goal, so as to reduce the occurrence of such behavior. For example, when going to the supermarket with the "bear child", if there are already many toys at home, and even similar toys, but the "bear child" is still clamoring to buy new toys, then the parents can consider using the method of fading, that is, ignoring his / her unreasonable requirements, so that he / she realizes that his own noisy has no effect, thereby reducing the occurrence of the unreasonable behavior of the "bear child".
In short, the rational use of reward, punishment and elimination of these three tricks is an effective way to reduce the occurrence of bad behavior in "bear children". At the same time, when we use these three tricks, we need to constantly reflect and sum up experience in order to better exert the educational wisdom of these three tricks.